Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Let Your Bad Girl Come Out To Play
If you've been reading this blog, you know that I am doing a case study workshop called Stiletto Camp as research for a nonfiction book I'm writing. I'm working with ten amazing women from all over the country who range in age from 31 to 52. Some are married, some divorced, others never have been married. They are mothers, step-mothers, and childless. Some ladies have been with their lovers for years others a few months. A few are celibate, one by choice the others by chance. Needless to say, they are an eclectic group of wants and needs. All are itching to get their sexy back.
And the majority seem to also have a common desire--they want to shed their good girl ways and add a little naughty to their nice.
Working with these ten lovelies this week got me to thinking about how so many of us good girls out in the world are missing out on much of the good clean lust (okay, maybe squeaky clean) life has to offer because we're stuck in good girl persona.
I say, it's time to support the bad girl in you and let her come out to play.
First, before we do, let's get a few things straight. Being a bad girl does not mean being immoral or doing anything illegal; acting cheap or tawdry; disrespecting yourself or others; or engaging in indiscriminate sex.
Women who engage in the aforementioned lifestyle aren't Bad Girls, they're troubled girls.
So let's define what being bad means for ourselves. Being bad means loving sex, being sexually confident, being physically uninhibited, having a healthy sexual appetite and knowing how to feed it. Being bad means being unashamed of being assertive, knowing what you want and asking for it. It means being fully in the moment and happily orgasmic. It means knowing that safe IS sexy.
Now I ask you: Doesn't being bad sound awfully good?
So why then are we so afraid to explore our sexual sides with the gusto both we and our lovers deserve?
I know...a loaded question with a history of psychological head trips played on us throughout the generations.
Maybe it's best that we reach back into the generations to one of the baddest bad girls of all times for a bit of wisdom. Here is a classic thought from Mae West. Let it be your mantra as you allow your Bad Girl out to play.
"When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad I'm better."
What do you think?