Tuesday, May 1, 2007
I was a guest on a great show this weekend. Cocoa Mode on XM radio with Shawna Renee. If you haven't checked it out, please do. It's live and you'll laugh and learn a lot about a lot.
Shawna had me on as part of a show on traveling and asked me to discuss getting your flirt on in a foreign land. Sounds like hella fun to me! I love to travel and have filled my head with wonderful memories of the places and people from Malta,Morocco, Italy, France, Spain, Greece, Belize, Germany, Canada, the Caribbean, Mexico and Turkey just to name a few glorious spots in this world I've visited.
Let me begin by saying that every Weapon of Mass Seduction should have a passport, kept in a safe place, ready to pick up and dash off as the crosswinds of the world call to you. Seriously, you can't travel anywhere outside of the U.S. without one and what WMS wants her wings clipped over documentation? The world is too fabulous for you not to explore it, and you are far too fabulous not to share yourself with the world.
And can I tell you, once you begin to explore the world, not only will you have a better understanding and appreciation of the other folks who inhabit this planet, you will better understand that men are men are men, no matter what color their skin, no matter the sound of their language, no matter the food on their dinner table. And nearly every man (okay maybe not the Taliban) enjoys a woman who is confident, curious and makes them feel good about being themselves.
So if you're going to take your flirt game overseas (and I highly suggest at some point you do), know the social and religious customs of the country you're visiting. Some countries have very strict expectations of how foreign (female) visitors should dress and you should respect their religious beliefs and culture. But don't for a minute think you won't be noticed. In Istanbul, where women are expected to cover their legs and arms (no shorts or tank tops), fully clothed and not a high heel in sight, I was offered 40 camels as a marriage proposal! It's kind of scary when all I did was smile and say hello, but flattering all the same.
So how do you get your flirt on in a country where you may not speak the language? The same way you do here in the good old U.S.A. By knowing how to S.E.L.L. yourself.
Smile. It's your best flirting tool foreign or domestic. A smile translates in any language and let's the recipient know that you are open and friendly and approachable.
Eye contact/talk. Learn to look people you're interested in in the eyes and once contact is made, engage in a little eye talk to say all those things you don't know the words for and even if you did you'd feel too embarrassed to say. Let your eyes do the walking and talking and your face will translate. And while he won't know exactly what you're thinking, your intrigue levels will go up substantially and soon he'll be living to spend time in your gaze.
Listen. As with their English speaking counterparts, men from anywhere in the world are intrigued and attracted to women who listen and ask questions. In every country I have visited, nearly everybody knows some English and those who do are dying to practice with a pretty little tutor like yourself. And what better excuse to listen than to ask for a quick Italian/Spanish/Greek lesson of your own! And before you even touch down, know how a few basic, friendly words in the language of the country you are visiting. Find out how to say 'hello', 'goodnight', 'thank you' and 'you are welcome'. You'd be surprised how far those few words will get you.
Laugh. Again, laughter is part of the universal language of love and friendship. And like a genuine smile, authentic laughter melts away the 'ugly American' persona and makes you appear friendly, energetic and happy, and who wouldn't want to surround themselves with an interesting, mysterious foreigner like yourself?
Always remember, at home or overseas, flirting is a benevolent act. Stop trying to use it as a way to gain something from someone and start using it as a way to make the object of your desire feel good about himself. By doing so you will erase the fear of rejection that keeps you from being your charming self and see your success quotient--and your confidence--quickly rise.
Have fun this summer. See the world. Be charming. Be sexy. Be you!