Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What's Sexy?

My daughter, who is 14 and about to enter high school this fall, finally said the "S" word. She told me she wanted to be "sexy." When I asked her to explain to me what she thought sexy was, she, like most of us, was at a loss for words. So I of course took the opportunity fill in the blanks for her.

My first response to her was "Sexy is a clean body. Sexy is fresh breath. Sexy is skin that's soft and not ashy." "Sexy is a genuine smile." "Sexy is a clean room." (okay, that was a little behavior modification, but it can't hurt!). "Sexy is clean underwear." Apparently that wasn't the message she was trying to hear, (but believe me I'll be in her ear with it for the duration) and she all but knocked me down trying to answer her cell phone.

Well that conversation got me to thinking and I decided to share with you what other things I think are sexy. Okay, truth is, I was on a roll with nobody to listen. So here we go!

Kindness is sexy. Laughter is sexy. Realness is sexy. Smart is sexy. Humor is sexy. Bold is sexy. SAFE is sexy. Truth is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Passion is sexy. Quirky is sexy. (Strange is not!) Individualism is sexy. Mystery is sexy.
Compassion is sexy. Fairness is sexy. Natural is sexy. Loving God is sexy. Love yourself is sexy.

These are all the things I want to explain to my daughter when she is willing to listen. I want her to know that she is sexy because she is who she is. That sexy isn't a mold every woman has to stuff herself into. It doesn't come in a bottle and she won't find it hanging on the size 2 rack. That she has the right to be sexy on her own terms and she shouldn't judge hers, or anyone else's sexiness by any rigid cultural, societal or media implied standards.

She is the new (and improved) sexy and, so by the way, are you.

What do you think?


Anonymous said...

Lori I totally agree with your assessment of what sexy is. It is not how much skin we reveal as most of the young girls and ladies think today. The qualitites you listed are ones that so many of us do not possess today.


Seven said...

I agree with you as well. It seems young ladies and older women alike equate sexiness with being way too physically revealing. For me, I can sexy rocking a pair of sweats and a hoody and a pair of fresh athlectic shoes as well as a pair of boy shorts and a shirt (sleepware of course). Sexiness is all about being confidant in your own skin...it's definitely not about grabbing attenting or being an attention whore.

Shelia said...

I'm going to direct my little cousin to your post. You've hit it on the nail. Sexy is ___; not what's on the cover of an airbrushed magazine.