Inter Generational Divas

I just returned from Phoenix, Arizona yesterday, where I did a workshop for nearly 300 women on how to unleash their sensuality. I was a bit nervous as the age range for this group went from early thirties to mid-nineties. I was concerned that my message might be a hard sell to women who had more than four decades of living under their belts than the messenger (that would be me), and that because I was no expert in geriatric sexuality that I would get it all wrong and wind up boring the youngin's and being ignored by the oldsters. Nervous in deed!

But I sucked it up and as I do before every public speaking engagement or sitting down to write a message to the public (whether blog or book) asked God to whisper in my ear the words that needed to be heard. And as usual, the words came.

Okay, have you ever heard the phrase, "to assume makes an ass of you and me?" Well I walked into that room with asinine assumptions only to leave with a head-full of knowledge and respect for the older divas that enhance this world.

Far from being shy and retiring, these lovelies were fine, fun-loving, and many still had a bit of the freak left in them! First, they walked into the room like supermodels--decked out in ladies-that-lunched outfits that defied the sterotypes of grandma and announced to the world that THEY knew they still had it going on and we should too. They listened, took notes, chatted among themselves and let the youngsters know in no uncertain terms that they still OWNED IT!

These women were full of energy and life-force. They made me feel comfortable and secure and in no way inhibited my presentation. Instead they enhanced it and gave me much food for thought. Yummy tidbits that I will be passing along to you as time goes by. But for today, here's what I know that you should know too.

Friendships with women of all ages are imperative to your ability to grow older with confidence. Inter generational girlfriends are the true fountains of youth. Younger women help the older divas stay youthful and current and women of a certain age help the up-and-comers realize that the joys of life don't have to droop when your boobs do.

One of my best friends is 66 years-old. She's beautiful and fabulous and amazing. Through her I've learned that age really isn't nothin' but a number and that the beauty that comes from healthy attitudes about health, exercise and sensual good living provides the true beauty that counts--the beauty that will lead you through the peaks and valleys of your feminine confidence as the years roll by.

So find ways to interact and grow friendships with women of all ages. These friendships will keep you young and sexy no matter if you're 13, 30 or 103! Because as my wise friend as always shown me by example--sexy is an attitude!

What do you think?

Just How Do You Let Your Bad Girl Loose?

There was a comment left on the blog entry about letting your bad girl come out and play. The reader thought it was a great idea but wanted to know, "how?"

My immediate answer is to redefine in your head what it means to be a 'bad". After all, who defined what a bad girl is or does anyway? If it wasn't you, the whole subject deserves a second thought.

Free yourself from the boundaries that the expectations of others have placed on you. It's time to OWN your sexuality and stop being afraid of it and what you 'think' it means to be sexually liberated.

If words are going to rule your world, maybe if you thought of it as putting a little naughty with your nice, you'd feel more comfortable. And I know it's getting close to Christmas and all but I'm sure your Santa Baby would definitely approve!

Here's an excerpt from a great book, The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex.

"Life is too short to waste being good. It's time for you to learn to enjoy what all the Bad Girls know.

"Bad Girls have no shame. What does that mean? It means that they are proud of who they are and what they feel. They love being bad and they have no interest in hiding that. Bad girls are not ashamed to feel desire. They are not ashamed to admit their desire or act on it.

"Bad Girls announce their intentions. They announce them with the way they walk, the way they talk, and the way they dress and undress. They announce their intentions when they stand up, when they sit down, when they eat, and when they smile. What are a Bad Girl's intentions: To be hot, to be in touch, and to be fully alive with herself and her sexual partner. Clear, powerful, to the point and very, very Bad. Yet they express this in a way that is never cheap, never trashy, never tawdry. Bad Girls feel sexy and fabulous and desirable. They don't need to be "good"; they love how it feels being bad.

"Let's look at those intentions again: "To be hot, to be in touch, and to be fully sexually alive with her sexual partner." What are you thinking to yourself right now? Are you thinking, "I have the same intentions?" I think you are, and I hope you are, yet there is a world of difference between having those intentions and living those intentions out loud. Bad Girls live out loud. That's what sets them apart. Don't let that discourage you. Turn yours up just a little at first, and then a little bit more every time as you get increasingly comfortable."

Live Out Loud.

What do you think?

Sensuality Workshop in Monmouth, NJ

For any of you who live in NJ or have friends and family that do, I'm doing a workshop called, The Power and Pleasure of Sensual Living, at Brookdale Community College in Monmouth, NJ. The workshop is Saturday, November 17th from 11-2:00. Lunch will be served as we find ways to bring both the power and the pleasure of sensual living (hence the name!) back into your work, personal, and love lives.

Tickets for lunch and the workshop are $30. Books will be sold and signed. For more information or to register call: 732-224-2315 and ask about the Unleash the Sensual You Workshop.

Hope you can join me. Feel free to pass this information along to anyone in the New Jersey area.

Let Your Bad Girl Come Out To Play

If you've been reading this blog, you know that I am doing a case study workshop called Stiletto Camp as research for a nonfiction book I'm writing. I'm working with ten amazing women from all over the country who range in age from 31 to 52. Some are married, some divorced, others never have been married. They are mothers, step-mothers, and childless. Some ladies have been with their lovers for years others a few months. A few are celibate, one by choice the others by chance. Needless to say, they are an eclectic group of wants and needs. All are itching to get their sexy back.

And the majority seem to also have a common desire--they want to shed their good girl ways and add a little naughty to their nice.

Working with these ten lovelies this week got me to thinking about how so many of us good girls out in the world are missing out on much of the good clean lust (okay, maybe squeaky clean) life has to offer because we're stuck in good girl persona.

I say, it's time to support the bad girl in you and let her come out to play.

First, before we do, let's get a few things straight. Being a bad girl does not mean being immoral or doing anything illegal; acting cheap or tawdry; disrespecting yourself or others; or engaging in indiscriminate sex.

Women who engage in the aforementioned lifestyle aren't Bad Girls, they're troubled girls.

So let's define what being bad means for ourselves. Being bad means loving sex, being sexually confident, being physically uninhibited, having a healthy sexual appetite and knowing how to feed it. Being bad means being unashamed of being assertive, knowing what you want and asking for it. It means being fully in the moment and happily orgasmic. It means knowing that safe IS sexy.

Now I ask you: Doesn't being bad sound awfully good?

So why then are we so afraid to explore our sexual sides with the gusto both we and our lovers deserve?

I know...a loaded question with a history of psychological head trips played on us throughout the generations.

Maybe it's best that we reach back into the generations to one of the baddest bad girls of all times for a bit of wisdom. Here is a classic thought from Mae West. Let it be your mantra as you allow your Bad Girl out to play.

"When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad I'm better."

What do you think?