Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Effort is Sexy

There is a radio commercial playing here in the New York area that makes me want to scream every time I hear it. The advertisement is for Lowes Stores and it features a woman who comes home to find that her husband has proudly set up a spontaneous and romantic dinner in their backyard for the two of them. Is she thrilled and astonished and blown away like she should be? No, because there's a problem. He's moved the dining room furniture outdoors because they don't yet have patio furniture.

So instead of being blown away by his thoughtfulness and inventiveness, and sitting her grateful behind down to enjoy a romantic evening with her man, the girl goes on and on about their next door neighbor, Steve. See Steve did it right. Steve went to Lowes and bought a real outdoor dining table and chairs. Steve did it right because, dining room furniture belongs in the dining room not outdoors. The ungrateful biyatch didn't even acknowledge his effort AND her husband then starts acting all apologetic and sorry. Okay, they deserve each other.

I see this all the time. Women who complain about their men not being attentive or romantic or helpful with the kids or household chores. Let's face it, some guys are just lazy slugs when it comes to helping around the house or flexing their romantic muscles. Sorry ladies if your guy truly falls in that category. But there are plenty of men who make the effort to please but are constantly slapped down for not doing things the 'right way', which in translation means 'your way.' Then these same women want to complain about feeling unappreciated or having to do everything and never getting a break.

Ladies, your man always gets points for trying. Let him learn to do things--from diapering the baby to cooking the lasagna to planning a romantic evening--his way. Let him know how much you appreciate his effort even if the flowers he selected aren't your favorite or he didn't make spaghetti sauce using your recipe (having hot dogs in your sauce won't kill you, just ask my mother!). Be flexible enough to understand that if he's making the effort to please, he gets credit.

Let live. Let love.

What do you think.


Tininu said...

I love you...preach!!!

Clarice said...

Right on! These women who complain about hubby not doing anything in some cases train him to be that way by not giving them credit for the effort. Men know when it might be off the mark - even if it gets the job done - but if they get points for making it happen a win is a win and a win inspires more tries in the future. This means that women can just have fun with it and enjoy. If he is a slug well then - try rewarding him for the good and see what happens.

Love the blog and the book!@