Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dear Santa, All I Want For Christmas...

Tis the season...I begin this post the same way I began the last for women who are shopping for their men during this holiday time. But I want to speak to you single lovelies who have the word "man" somewhere at or near the top of your Santa list.

This can be a tough season for singles because it's one of those times during the year (like New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day) when being alone can feel particularly lonely. But this is also the season for putting your wants and wishes into the air. I know that many of you, whether you've said it out loud or whispered it in your hearts, have added a man to your Santa wish list. But as I have found with my chosen weight loss program these past few years, wishing doesn't make it so.

If you are in the market to add a partner to your life, it’s also important to be concerned first and foremost about what YOU want in a man. We spend so much of our time worrying about being worthy and wondering why nobody seems to want us, that we have no idea what is really important to us when it comes down to the nitty gritty of love. We scour magazines and the Internet looking for clues to what men want and how we can become that girl so they will pick us. In our desire to “be what he wants,” most of us are willing to change ourselves and deny our own needs for the sake of having someone who we call 'special' in our lives. When we do this, we forget two important facts: 1) You ARE something special, damn it! And 2) Happiness is truly fleeting if you deny yourself and your truth. Because really, no man, no matter his looks, personality, or wealth will make you happy if he is ultimately not what YOU want.

So, get out your stationary and make your list. When you have the time, sit quietly and think about what you want in your mate. Don’t get caught up in the superficial—what he looks like, how much money he makes, how he dresses, where he was educated, what part of town he lives in, what kind of car he drives, etc. None of those things count in the long run. Concentrate on the personality qualities, morals and values that are deal breakers for you.

Take a look at your list of gentle demands. Is it reasonable? Would you be capable of meeting your own needs? Does it demand more of a mate than it does of yourself?

Tis the magical season of believing and receiving. So take a moment to focus on what you truly want. Once you’ve done that, you’ve taken the first step in creating it. Know what you want and ask for it. Then start doing the work to assure that you are a partner who is worthy and equal to one you are asking for.

Happy Holidays!

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