Monday, March 3, 2008
Boys and Toys
When it comes to boys and toys, the crucial thing for any Weapon of Mass Seduction to remember is that boys are the ultimate toys and anything else you bring to the party are just favors. Toys are never a full-time replacement for boys but sometimes the combination of the two can make it feel like Christmas Eve all year round!
The thing is, some guys are really into the idea but many are not, and it's a good thing to know what side of the toy aisle your man is standing on before you show up to bed with a set of handcuffs and a whip dangling from your hand.
Many men love the idea of their women having a private toy box and are very turned on by the idea of a female confident enough to take her pleasure in her own hands. These men, if given the chance, are thrilled to play with you and if you are so inclined, you should be happy to invite them for a play date. And don't be surprised if he prefers to watch you play with toys than participate. Let your own comfort level be your guide on that one.
But other men may find pleasure toys threatening for the same reasons that some women find porn threatening, because they feel like we don't get turned on by them or that they aren't pleasing us. Others are concerned that over time, you may possibly prefer the steady, always ready vibrator over him.
If your lover is shy about the toy thing, here are some hints for introducing toys into your relationship:
1) It should never be a total surprise. Prime your lover before springing it on him in bed. In fact, make it a new theme for a red hot night.
2) Size does matter. If you show up with a realistic looking sumthin sumthin that is waaaaay larger than his own, you're bound to crush his ego and be sorry you even started this whole thing.
3) Start with toys designed for your pleasure, then find ways to use them for his. Also, start with things that are more sedate in nature--feather dusters, blindfolds, simple vibrators. This helps keep the intimidation factor in check.
4) Practice makes perfect. Before you introduce your playthings into the game, first play and practice with them yourself. The more acquainted you are with how they can be used to increase your pleasure, the more successful your play date will be and the more willing he'll be to try again.
Don't forget, with every new toy purchase you should buy extra batteries AND cleaner. It's really important to clean your toys well after every use.
And lastly, if you prefer to keep your toys to yourself that's all good too.
Enjoy and play nice!