Kiss Me, You Fool

Question: How much of a role does kissing play in your sex life?

Kissing is so important. It’s the way we begin our journey into sexuality and it will be the main attraction as we reach the end our our sex lives. Kissing is the most intimate of sex acts but unfortunately, it is the first thing that goes once we discover orgasms, and sex becomes more goal-oriented than intimate. A little forward thinking here: remember, the time will come when your body will lose its ability to be fully sexual but your lips--those lovely, luscious, sexy lips--will never let you down.

And even now in your prime sexual years, kissing helps you maintain a playful intimacy and is always the one thing you can say yes to even when your body, exhausted by child-rearing, work or pre-menstrual bloating, will always be up for.

Even if your kisser hasn't been getting the workout it deserves these past few years, worry not. You can be up to speed in no time. Just keep in mind:

To rediscover kissing, practice hard and often. The key is to start slow and explore. Experiment with pressure and touch not only to see how you like to kiss and be kissed (there's a series of kisses just right for you, Goldilocks!), but also use his mouth and your tongue to instruct him how you like to be kissed elsewhere on your body. This can be quite fun and will be instructive to both of you.

Great kissers know that it’s not about the lips or the technique as much as it is about the origin of a kiss. An amazing kiss comes from the heart and soul. Your mouth is merely the conduit that delivers the message of your mood, emotions and intent. An effective kiss really is like a passionate dance—whether it be a tango, or waltz or salsa—and by translating the music in your head through your lips, you are guaranteed to make your lover’s head spin!

Here's a little sumthin' sumthin' about kissing and being good with your mouth from the book: The Good Sex Guide.

"After the genitals, the lips are the most sensitive part of the body. They're stuffed with nerve endings and can give and receive hours of pleasure. The most obvious use of your mouth (other than eating and talking) is kissing. This popular pastime is used by most cultures as a greeting and sign of affection. But when lovers kiss, it takes on a whole new meaning. When couples first meet, kissing is often intense and provocative. But over time, it's often forgotten. Thankfully, it's something you can easily learn again."

Now from the same book, here are a few kisses to add to your repertoire.

French Kissing. The well-known favorite, where you use your tongue to explore your partner's lips and mouth. Start gently, and as they open up, gradually increase the depth and urgency of your exploration. (My note: Go by your preference. If you don't like deep, keep it shallow and enjoy the tongue play on lips and slightly inside. The 'ice cream cone lick" on closed lips, can be VERY effective.)

Nibble kisses: Very, very gently caress your partner's lips and tongue with little bites--but remember, gently.

Suction kisses, Gently suck on your partner's lower lip or tongue. (This is one of my favorites and can be VERY sexy without being messy.)

Chicken kisses: Gently peck your lover over and over again with tiny kisses.

Teasing kisses: Gently and teasingly kiss your partner on the cheeks, chin, eyelids, nose--in fact anywhere but the mouth. It will be only a matter of time before they pull you to their lips."

Might I add, don't forget that the entire body is covered with skin--your most sensitive body organ. So the combination of lips on skin, where ever it is, is a lovely So go forth and KISS. If you are able, spend this evening simply kissing, and just like when you were a teenager, do not allow yourself to go any further than lip to lip. Enjoy!