Monday, January 28, 2008

Take February 14th Back Part Two

Okay, single ladies, hopefully you're well on your way to planning an extra special I LOVE ME extravaganza for yourself this Valentine's Day. And while you may pick up a few tips for your own party, this entry is for women with lovers who might be feeling lost and uninspired for a variety of reasons.

As I said in Part One of this post, Valentine's Day can feel pressure-packed with the need to perform or even out perform past celebrations. The problem I always had was that just because the calendar said I was supposed to feel warm and loving and super sexy on said day, my mind and body didn't always cooperate. The reasons ranged from PMS (premenstrual syndrome) to LOF (lack of finances) to IYCPUYDWSISYM (If you can't pick up your draws, why should I show you mine). And even when the stars aligned and I was feeling loving and wanting to show that desire, time and kids were always an issue. So here are my top five tips to help you take the pressure off.

1. Plan a sexy evening designed to showcase the sensual you. In other words, make this a night about your pleasure. I know this sounds selfish but it's really not. I'm in no way suggesting that you don't incorporate his needs and desires into the evening, but as I always say, first seduce yourself and let him be an afterthought. Believe me this is one time a man is happy with the crumbs! He will happily reap the benefit of your arousal. Refer to the Start Lovin' Yourself tip in Part One for tips on getting yourself in the mood.

2. Pick a theme. If you've ever given a kid's birthday party, you already recognize how much easier the planning becomes when you pick a theme and let everything--from invitation to menu to throughout the day reminders--revolve around it. Some theme ideas include: Martini/Champagne and Pearls; Passion Picnic; Bubbles and Blindfolds; Limousine of Love. See already your mind is churning with the possibilities. And they don't have to be that grandiose either. Dinner and A Movie works just fine too. The key to success here is to make sure that the mood, presentation and mind-set are all tailored to fit you and your lover's sensibilities.

3. Don't recreate the wheel. Anyone who knows me,knows that I am all about the presentation. I don't particularly like to cook but I have made it my mission to find the best of the best pre-packaged/cooked delicacies and then personalize them. For example. My family loves Mrs. Smith's apple pies. I buy those suckers, take them out of the foil tin and put them in a glass pie plate. I then take extra dough (straight from the refrigerator case, of course) a cookie cutter and precede to hide the pre-fab edges and decorate that bad boy into a work of art that I am proud to put on my table or anyone else's. It becomes my apple pie, even though Mrs. Smith did all the kitchen duty. I'm the same way about sensual entertaining.

Our perceived lack of creativity (or lack of time and money) often stops us from doing a lot of things we'd like to do. Don't feel the need to recreate the wheel. Use someone else's creative ideas to fuel your own. For example: Take the book 101 Grrreat Nights, the one that you tear a suggested seduction out of the book and give it to your partner. Make it your own by picking a scenario that appeals to you, adding your personal twist to it and re-writing it by hand. Now it's cute and personal and it's become your idea not some author's. Plus you still get 1000 extra points for effort. So whether sentiment or sustenance, make your own sensual pie out of someone else's apples.

4. Don’t be tied to the calendar. Plan for a time when your evening can be successful. Let an amazing invitation be your gift on Feb. 14 for an evening yet to come--one that falls on a more convenient day for both of you. You can do this finding or making a handmade invitation that creates a wonderful sense of anticipation and sets the mood for what's to come. Make sure the delivery is just as special!

5. Give gifts from the heart. Gift giving can be tricky largely because Valentine's Day falls so soon after Christmas (and the Xmas bills) and because the holiday related stuff in the stores can be really corny. A great source for unique gifts from sentimental to sexy, is Red Envelope. You can get everything from a pendant engraved with a secret message to a Mile High kit. The merchandise and packaging are both beautiful and classy.

I'd like to suggest you give a gift that keeps on giving and works on your relationship all year, not just this special day. A weekly make out session (sex not included!) Quarterly overnight pajama parties (kids not included). An bi-annual love connection getaway (definitely no kids). A monthly love letter.

Presents from the heart that have meaning and work towards lasting love and intimacy are the most romantic gifts of all.

What do you think?

PS. You can find tips on planning a Red Hot Night in chapter eleven in Weapons of Mass Seduction. There's also a test in the back of the book to help you determine you and your partner's sensual tastes. If you're really stuck for ideas, email me at and I'll try to help.

No comments: