Monday, June 23, 2008

Change is Good

Last month the poll question was when was the last time you updated your look. Here's what you had to say:

52% have changed their look in the last 6-12 months.

28% have updated their appearance in the past 1-4 years.

8% have gotten a new coif or wardrobe in the past 5-8 years.

12% have not updated their look in ten or more years.

It's great to see that the majority of you embrace change and invite it into your life. It's so very easy to get in a rut and let the familiar begin to rule our lives. The familiar is a known entity. It's comfortable. Familiar is easy and safe. It's what we know, and for the most part has worked for years.

But the familiar can also be stale. And boring. And a great place to hide. And often what had been working for years no longer does, but it's part of our comfort zone and we'd rather hang on to what we know than risk something we don't.

Keeping things the same keeps us from taking chances and venturing out and finding out just how amazing the world is and what an incredible women we have the potential to become.

I am a true believer in periodic makeovers. Just like there is a necessity for attitude readjustments every now and again (change your attitude, change your life) every woman needs to undergo a style makeover every now and again.

Your outer appearance is your calling card to the world and should reflect your most current, inner self. If it doesn't, you should ask yourself why. Do the two not match because you're hiding what's inside for fear of rejection or do you not know the femme within and simply allow the dated woman in the mirror dictate your first impression?

Our faces and figures change as time tiptoes on. What flattered the former you years ago probably doesn't do justice to the present you. If you haven't changed your look in years, it's time for an update.

Here are a few makeover tips.

1) Scroll down and reread the posts for finding your sensual signatures (January 8, 2007). These five signatures will help insure that your finished makeover is authentically you and not based on some celebrity ideal or fashion trend.

2) Decide what you want. Wanting to look better is too general and can easily become an exercise in frustration. Break down your makeover goals into doable steps so you can prioritize your transformation and make it a happier, more manageable task.

3) Start with the fast four: Hair, makeup, teeth whitening and posture. These are generally budget-friendly items and the results are quick and encouraging. Start with these so you already feel fresh and fabulous as you work on other more time consuming or costly things like diet and wardrobe.

Before you hit the salon, have an idea of what your looking to achieve. Look at photos of celebrities with similar shaped faces or go to sites like Instyle magazine virtual makeover and upload your photo and try on several hairstyles.

MAC stores and other cosmetic companies do complimentary in store makeovers. Let them show you a new, contemporary color palette to flatter your skin tone and bring out your most amazing facial feature.

Crest Whitestrips are a cost-effective way to get your smile bright and ready to showcase with a new lip color. Of course, a bleached smile does not replace healthy gums and teeth. See your dentist on the regular and brush and floss in between!

Want to look like you've lost ten pounds? Stand up straight. Practice standing tall with your shoulders back and your stomach pulled in. You'll be amazed at the instant lift to both your body and your self-esteem. It takes a while to train your core muscles so when you feel yourself slouching, remind yourself to stand up straight and smile!

Change is growth, and isn't that our ultimate job in life? So go...grow into a stunning new you.

What do you think?

Friday, June 20, 2008

Is This What Nike Had in Mind?

Could you have sex 101 days in a row?

If you did, you could write a book about it and run the talk show circuit. Except that one couple beat you to the punch. Spurred by the "100 days" club, whose membership welcomes couples who've gone more than 100 lonely days without connecting physically, Douglas and Annie Brown decided to try a different position. They had sex every day for 101 days and wrote the book to consummate it. What's even more remarkable is that it was her suggestion, not his (it's his name on the book, though). One has to wonder on how many of those nights the deed felt more like a burden than a relaxing romp (an intimate connection with a book deal and its mistress, fame?), but the couple insists that they learned how to make caring for each other a priority, even beyond sex. They also found out "You couldn't do this the rest of your life. It was exhausting." But somewhere between a hundred days of solitude and 101 days of sex lies the perfect balance and the moral of the story: put your sweetie on your "to do" list and make your relationship a priority.

This article by Caroline Humphries definitely caught my eye. WOW! 101 days straight.

Again I say, WOW!

Reading it made me think back to when I was trying to conceive my first child. At first it was thrilling and exciting and then it felt a lot more like sex-on-demand, which felt more like work than pleasure. I mean, do you really enjoy it when it becomes a job? I guess the answer is yes, if having sex is your job. But for us everyday sensualists, well I think 101 of days of straight sex could lead to the next 264 being straight up celibate!

I come down on the side of too much of a good thing can just simply be too much. The whole quality vs quantity argument begins to make a lot of sense right about now. I do however agree with the idea of putting your sweetie, and yourself, on your "to do" list and giving your relationship high priority.

So maybe not sex by it's usual definition, but 101, hell 365, days of affection and smiles shared between the two of you is a good thing. And makes the days you do have sex all the sweeter.

What do you think?

Monday, June 16, 2008

Keep Your Baby a Butterfly

Our five senses are as much a gift as our intellect and intuition, but like intuition, taking time to understand and enjoy them is often the first thing we eliminate in our quest to become civilized, cultured, efficient and productive human beings.

From birth to around age five or six, there is nothing we surround our little ones with that isn’t designed and intended to stimulate every one of their senses with tastes, scents, and textures that are varied and appealing. With great intent, we buy things that feel good to the skin, look interesting to the eye, smell pleasant, taste appealing, and sound soothing. From the very beginning we wrap our children in a loving, sensual cocoon in an attempt to make their young lives pleasurable and happy.

And then, somewhere around six or seven, we rip away the cocoon and quickly turn our sensual butterflies into busy bees. This happens around the same time their lives become a series of scheduled events just like ours and time is of the essence. Nothing is done for sheer pleasure anymore, we must now accomplish something. There simply isn’t time to flit and meander sensuously. Can’t stop to smell the flowers anymore. Our kids, just like us, have places to go and people to see and play dates to attend. Long, playful tub time is replaced by quick bird baths and showers. High-chair food fests become car seat meals in an effort to get to Gymboree on time. Music becomes a mere tool to pass the time or to beckon the Sandman. Visual stimulation now comes in the form of learning. Sensory delight is replaced by academic pursuit.

Around the same age something else happens to strip our children of their God-given gift of sensuality. They discover self-pleasuring, we begin to associate sensuality with sexuality and things change drastically. Suddenly, sensuality is discouraged and becomes something ‘adult-like,” something we pull out of our trick bags when we want to spice up our sex lives.

Think about this scenario for a moment. You walk into your seven-year-old daughter’s room one morning and find the pajamas she had on when she went to bed are on the floor and she is sleeping happily nude. ‘Why?’ you ask. ‘Because the sheets feel good on my skin,’ she says.

Raise your hand if you would be shocked and bothered and insist that she sleep with pajamas so she wouldn’t catch cold or some other concocted reason? Would you feel any different if it was your son instead?

Now ask yourself: Why is sensuality considered a birthright, an imperative in infancy and the toddler years and then snatched away before puberty?

Give your kids back their cocoon. Teach them to revel in their sensuous world and see the amazing impact it has on their capacity to enjoy life now and later.

What do you think?