Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Ten Aphrodisiacs

Do you want to look hot, feel hot? Do you feel the need for an aphrodisiac? defines an aphrodisiac as an “agent which is used in the belief that it increases sexual desire”.

The term was derived from the name of the Greek goddess of sensuality: Aphrodite. Basically, the role of an aphrodisiac is to make sex mor attainable and pleasurable. According to experts, however, there is no such thing as a true aphrodisiac.

But who cares? Whether or not there’s a medical basis that there are foods which actually help to increase your sexual desire (physically or mentally), we shouldn’t take the fun out of choosing aphrodisiacs which have a positively orgasmic effect!

The keywords for our top 10 aphrodisiac picks are sexual awakening, sensual pleasures, glands stimulator, and senses-teaser. Here goes:

10. Whipped Cream

I know, I know… there’s no medical evidence that whipped cream is an aphrodisiac which increases your libido. But just think of all the ‘naughty’ places where you can lick whipped cream off it certainly will get you hot!

9. Chocolate

Whether it is the melted variety or the deep, dark chocolate gorging on these sumptuous treats would surely heat things up in bed. Chocolate provides a quick boost of energy, especially for women who produce four times as many endorphins after eating chocolate as compared to the endorphins that they produce after a mind boggling kiss!

8. Oysters

This is a given oysters physically resemble the female organ, which is probably why some men find them so visually stimulating. Also, oysters are high in zinc so they help improve your lover’s sexual potency. Good, huh?

7. Celery

Celery contains a male hormone called androsterone which in turn arouses women’s sexuality. It has been liberally used by ancient Romans in their cooking as an aphrodisiac.

6. Banana

There’s more to a banana being an aphrodisiac than its phallic shape. This fruit contains bromelain which stimulates a man’s libido.

5. Peaches

The appearance of plump, juicy and mouth-watering peaches already provides a highly sexual image. Aside from that, these luscious fruits have vitamin A which in turn produces healthy, touchable skin - the largest erogenous zone in the human body!

4. Shrimps or Fillet Mignon

This is basically for all the men out there who want to improve their staying power in bed. Shrimps or prawns actually increase their sperm level and leads to more powerful orgasms. Fillet mignon, on the other hand, is high in protein which helps increase your ‘alertness and assertiveness’ in bed.

3. Ginseng

The component which helps Ginseng increase your energy, vitality and sexual enjoyment is ginsenoside. Look for energy drinks with Ginseng to help perk you up right before tangling the sheets.

2. Caviar

Treat yourself and your lover to a hot night of love with caviar. Eggs are a symbol of fertility - and caviar is packed with 47 vitamins and minerals to produce all the energy that you need in bed.

1. Red Wine

What better way to end our list that with a celebratory toast of red wine? Not only is red wine good for the heart - it’s also rich in resveratrol, a form of antioxidant which increases estrogen production. The result? Heightened sexual appetite.

Just make sure to slowly sip your wine and not drink it too fast (it can lead to drowsiness, which will ruin your night!). Licking it off in erogenous body parts is a great idea, too. =)

Some ‘Weird’ Aphrodisiacs which Deserve an Honorable Mention:

• Asparagus
• Devil’s Soup
• Maca
• Muira Puama
• Rhino Horn
• Spanish Fly
• Yohimbine
• Turtle Eggs
• Tribulus
• Truffles

What are you waiting for? Shop now and stock up on these aphrodisiac foods. Add in some scented candles, sensual oils and you’re ready for one sizzling night with that special man in your life!

This article comes from the site

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Q & A When To Trust My Nagging Voice

Q: Lori, 13 years ago I dated an up & coming politician, who I really liked, but the sex between us was awkward and stiff. He ended the relationship because he was "not ready for a family. Recently, he tracked me down through my mom, saying he regrets what happened. Long story short, we spent five days in Miami and had some of the absolutely best sex of my life--tantric, intense intimacy, hours of kissing. I felt so alive and vibrant.

Here's the issue: He is not available. He is separated from his wife, but I don't detect that it is over for them. Anyway, he seems quite smitten and would like to maintain contact. I am thinking that our week in Miami was my attempt to show him exactly what he walked away from, but I am still intrigued and very excited.

What think you???...throw caution to the wind, go with my feelings and allow the relationship to unfold? My nagging voice is saying I really just wanted revenge so should just walk away.

A: Wow! Sounds like you had a hot time in Miami! I'm thrilled that you are still feeling solidly sensual and owning yourself like never before.

I always say go with your intuition. I'm wondering if the thrill you are feeling is more about you really test driving the new, more confident Bella than a potential relationship. Was the sex amazing because you are now free to enjoy it on your own terms or because it was with him? My bet is that at this point, it is the former not the latter.

If your inner voice is actually nagging, it's guiding you towards truth. Let it go. Carry that scandalous feeling with you and keep yourself open to meeting a man who is available. And guess what? You have the right, and the obligation to yourself, to let him know that you don't play seconds. If he really is smitten, he'll get things straight at home (for himself not you) and approach you again able to discover and explore.

In full disclosure, Bella, is a former Stiletto U student.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Follow Up to Smart and Sexy

This was a comment about my last blog, left by "Analytical Annie"

"Interesting and timely comments I am curious and would love to know more about the comment below.

"Fall back on your good girl and let her innocence be your ticket to the smart and sexy new you. I don't know a man alive who can resist the request that he be the one to turn you out."

Why is it that "no man alive can resist"? What is it about innocence that men can't resist? Given that so much emphasis is placed on being experienced this is curious.

Well, 'Annie', thanks for the comment and here is my follow up.

First, don't confuse the word 'innocence' with 'disinterest','insecurity' or 'fear'. Just because a girl (and I mean a girl at any age) has a virtuous patina about her, does not mean that she still isn't curious, adventurous, eager and willing to add a few new moves to her sexual repertoire.

Secondly, don't let yourself be fooled by the societal emphasis placed on being experienced. True, we are no longer living in times where a man expects to marry a virgin, at the same time, times haven't changed that much that men are looking for a, hmmm, how can I put this, a girl with a headboard full of notches going for her. Yes, I will concede the point that most men want a seasoned woman, but seasoned does not mean sauteed, flipped, rolled, baked and fried!!

Based on my research, what men value more than experience is passion, energy, and confidence. Passion reserved for him. Passion that lets him know that there is no other man you could possibly desire at this particular moment. Energy displayed that lets him know that you are enjoying yourself being with him and that he is pleasing you. And the confidence to let him know what you like and dislike (so he can please you) as well as confidence in your own appearance and performance.

Women are so wrong thinking that all men are looking for porn star lovers. Now, don't get me wrong, most certainly would love to have the opportunity to experience such a night, but guess what? In the long run most are not interested in a long-term relationship with one. And don't ever underestimate a man's performance anxieties, despite whatever bravado they emit. The idea of having to please Nympho Nadine on the regular can be off putting to the common man!

And to go back the questions asked, there is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting to your lover that there is something you don't know or want to be better at when it comes to your sexual performance. When you combine your lovely innocent good girl, with a little bad girl tutoring from your man, naughty can be awfully nice!

What do you think?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Q & A : I'm Very Smart...Sexy Not So Much

Thanks for all of your questions. I've decided to make July Q & A month. My goal is to make this blog not only entertaining but helpful, so please keep the questions and comments coming.

Here are two similar queries sent to me this week. I have taken my thoughts and combined them into one answer.

Q1: I'm intellectually sexy. Translation: I'm sexy only in my own head. Men appreciate my smarts but seem to be more intimidated than turned on. How do I turn my sexy thoughts into action without being a dummy? B from Maryland

Q2: Lori, I need help! I'm a control freak. When I'm in a relationship I have to control everything from what we do on a date to how we have sex. At first the men seem to like it but then the inevitable happens--they leave and I'm alone--again. Why am I like this and what can I do to change? S from Georgia

When you peel back the layers, my guess is that you both are dealing with the same issue--insecurity about your own, as Kimora Lee Simmons coined it, "fabulosity." When your confidence level is low in any area, there is a tendency to hide behind whatever you can, in this case intellect or to the need to dictate things so life works to your strengths and your weaknesses rarely have a chance to fail you.

But ultimately you come to the realization that neither hiding nor controlling work in the long run. The only way to effectively move through this limiting behavior is to gently deal with them head-on with self-love. So to both of you, I offer this advice.

Be the student. B, anyone as smart as you and who has used her intelligence as her calling card, admitting you DON'T know or CAN'T figure something out is maddening, especially when it comes to sex. You're right to not want to dumb your beautiful self down, but now you are realizing that brains are only part of your sexy package, and that any woman with a brain knows how to make her smarts work for her.

Part of being truly intelligent is knowing when to let go of the leadership position and assume the student/follower role for a minute. By doing this, you let go of the pressure of having to know everything, and get to explore without boundaries. Fall back on your good girl and let her innocence be your ticket to the smart and sexy new you. I don't know a man alive who can resist the request that he be the one to turn you out.

And when it comes to sex, remember you can't paint on a coat of freaky sex goddess. It has to be genuine and come from within. Sex is as individual as the people that have it. Some days it will be hot and horny, other times it will be silly and fun or loving and romantic. Don't intellectualize it. Just go with the flow and enjoy it all.

This same advice goes for you, S. The need to control comes down to fear and in many cases, it's being fearful of losing your power. When you are in control you feel powerful, but power by domination is way different than being truly empowered.

I'd ask you to first, eliminate the words 'failure' and 'expectation' from your vocabulary. When you are afraid to fail, you are too often afraid to try. And when you try to control a person or situation with expectations of how things must go, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. When you expect a situation, event, or confrontation to unfold in a certain way, it becomes more difficult to enjoy the lovely surprises and self-knowledge that are sure to appear if you're open to receiving them.

And then, I'd suggest to you that by honoring the needs, desires, and imperfections of the people in your life, you give them the freedom to be themselves. Shouldn't you honor yourself in the same way? Give up the need to control everything and everyone around you and see how much lighter, happier and smarter you'll become.

And as we've already determined--smart is sexy and so is flexibility!

Hope this helps. Keep the questions coming!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Got Questions?

Hi again,

If you have any questions or comments you'd like me to address on this blog, please send them to
Any thoughts about sexuality, sensuality, romance and relationships are welcome.

Happy Fourth of July

Hi All,

I have to take a little break. My computer crashed AGAIN!! I just got a new hard drive installed yesterday and I'm trying to gather and restore all my documents that I've lost. Luckily, this time I have my big projects safe on a flash drive, but there still various programs missing etc. etc.

So have a great Fourth of July, do something patriotic to show your gratitude for this great country and especially for our troops. Then do something crazy to show off your independent side. You know, the side that's free of what other people think.

Have fun. Make some fireworks of your own and I'll be back hopefully next week.