Wednesday, April 25, 2007


I've been getting a lot of great questions that I thought I'd share with you on the blog. This week's query:

Q. You say that a woman should take her best feature and embrace it. How does an aspiring WMS determine her best feature?

A. By taking the time to truly admire herself with loving eyes. Most us don't really look at ourselves and our bodies. We only study and critique them and that's why we don't learn to love and accept them as is. Spend some quality time with the lady in the looking glass. You'll be amazed by how fabulous she really is if you only take the time to truly see her.

Also you need to learn to really listen and internalize the compliments you receive. Most of us are too modest or insecure to even accept compliments, let alone see and use them for the useful and empowering nuggets of inspiration they are. How many times have you brushed off a kind comment or made some self-deprecating remark in response to a compliment? Stop downplaying the wonderfulness of you! Give yourself permission to bask in the warmth of your own sunshine and be open enough to allow others to do the same.

A true WMS knows how to graciously take a compliment and use them to fuel her confidence (not ego!). If enough people tell you your legs are great or you have amazing eyes you have a pretty good idea about what about you is most special. They'll also clue you in as too what colors look good on you or what styles really flatter your body. Listen and learn! And once you are clear about your best feature, own it with pride and work it confidence!

If you have a question you'd like answered email me at

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

High Jinx on the High Seas

Join me for this fabulous time on the high seas where you'll learn to unleash the sensual you and still have plenty of time to network with some serious movers and shakers in the entertainment business, including mega successful publisher, Vicki Stringer, actress Sheryl Lee Ralph, radio personality, Egypt and others. Tandi Productions is donating a portion of the profits to breast cancer research, so come cruise with us knowing you're making a difference in the lives of others all the while you're having BIG fun. Book your cabin now and get ready for some high jinx on the high seas! For more information check out

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Conversation With My Friend...Nina Foxx

My fellow Femme, Nina Foxx, is not only a prolific writer, she's queen of the media-tech geek squad (sexy, smart as hell, major shoe label geeks mind you, They don't call her "Foxx" for nothing). While the rest of us are just trying to figure out these blogs, she has started a series of podcasts called A Conversation With

Friends. I was lucky enough to be one of her first girl chats. Take a listen and then roll over to the The Vixen Chronicles to hear more from this frighteningly talented woman.

Listen now to our conversation.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

In Stores Everywhere

After months (and sometimes years) of toil and struggle to turn ideas into words and get words onto paper, there are no better words than: "in stores everywhere!"

Okay, you're right, there are better words: "NY Times bestseller," "We want to make your book into a movie," "This is the best book I've ever read," "Mom, I'm so proud of you." But right now after all of the waiting for you to check it out and enjoy, "In stores everywhere," is perfect."

Now, if you wouldn't mind helping a sister out, here's how you can make those other words (bestseller for example) ring in a girl's ears.

1) Please buy a copy and enjoy it with joy in your heart and sunshine on your face. The sunshine on your face isn't just a line of prose, but also a request that you read in public! I know how you like to curl up with a good book in bed, but after reading and taking to heart the information inside WMS, you'll have better things to do in bed, so read in public so other people see it and decide they can't be left out and go buy their own copy. Get it? Sexy see, sexy do!

2) Please don't lend your copy,. Have folks buy their own or better buy them a copy as a gift. "I lent my book to 15 friends," are not words an author loves to hear. Mother's Day, birthday, happy bridal shower, happy divorce...all great occasions to make a gift of this book.

3) Get your book club to pick Weapons of Mass Seduction. Essence has for their 5000 members. Don't let those girls out charm you! This is perfect book club reading and with the tests in the back and the workshop as part of the storyline, your club can become bona fide bombshells as a group. Read the book and after a bit of discussion take the meeting to the club and get your flirt on.

4) As you're getting your new found flirt on, spread the word. Don't keep this secret all to yourself. Word-of-mouth is the best advertising. Tell your friends. Write a review on Amazon.

Please help me make this world a nicer place, one sexy you at a time!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Don Imus and Weapons of Mass Seduction

What the hell? I know you’re thinking, what could Weapons of Mass Seduction possibly have to do with, Don “who’s the ho now, sucker” Imus.

Bear with me as I try to get you all aboard this fleeting (but pertinent) train of thought.

I was watching the news this morning and of course, every other story is on Mr. Imus. First, can I tell you how VERY proud I am of not only those fine, intelligent, talented young women from Rutgers (they should have taken his ass to the hoop instead of just talking with him), but Essence editor Angela Burt-Murray. They were all smart, articulate, looked beautiful and held their own against some particularly loud and mouthy Imus supporters. Way to represent ladies!

So anyway, I’m watching the news and while I agree it was time for Imus to go, I also agree with the commentary of several guests, black and white, that we can not simply point the finger of blame at Imus without looking at the ways Black women are demeaned and devalued in the name of free speech and art, by our own people.

Yes, all true, but this discussion is out of place on a blog dedicated to sensuality and based on a book called Weapons of Mass Seduction, a book with a very sexy cover and title and has nothing to do with Don “frickin” Imus and a debate about respecting ourselves as a people, the reader thought, scratching her head in confusion.

Well, yes and no.

Yes, Weapons of Mass Seduction is a sensual and sexy read. It is light and enlightening. It is a fun romp through the lives of three very interesting women. It will make you laugh and make you cry and I promise you, you will walk away having learned something about yourself.

But the book is SMART and sexy. And as handsome Valen Bellamy, Pia Jamison’s love interest and candidate for the U.S. Senate, proves, Weapons of Mass Seduction is very germane and timely to day’s ‘nappy ho’ headlines.

Here's an abridged excerpt of their first meeting:

“Thank you all for coming this afternoon to discuss a crisis that has hit our communities as hard as obesity, high blood pressure, black-on-black crime and HIV/AIDS. Along with the super-sizing of our fast-food meals has come the super-sizing of our appetites for hyper-sexuality, violence and a blatant disrespect for ourselves and each other.

“Rappers boast about being the “spot smacker and favorite macker” while proudly promoting the image of the pimp as a flamboyant beacon of power, wealth and success. In bookstores, displayed beneath signs marked African-American Literature, are titles like Ghetto Azz, Thug Livin’, and Toxic Ho.

“Our young people are experiencing a whammy of ‘entertainment’ sources that glorify violence and dangerous sex practices to the detriment of our collective sense of self-respect. And this is why I’ve asked you all to join me today.

“This is a fact-finding mission to gather ideas and information to shape my campaign platform, ‘Respect Yourself. Be Respected.’ My hope is that through awareness, we can begin to reverse the negative cultural trends that are impacting our daily lives, for example, making heroines of women who make a living shaking their booties and servicing men who refer to them as his ‘tricks,’ ‘bitches,’ and ‘ho’s’.”

“I’m not a whore. I’m a model,” argued Jalese Chantal, a successful video girl. “For me, videos are a way to pay the bills while trying to advance my career.”

“Man, we’re selling a product…and everybody knows that sex sells everything else from cars to camera, why not music,” hip-hop artist, Playadoh added.

“Crack cocaine is a product. Shouldn’t we be policing ourselves when it comes to questionable and potentially harmful ‘products’?” the candidate queried.

Pia could see that Valen Bellamy was quickly losing his congenial charm as he delved into this issue. It was clear that he was impassioned by the subject, but his passion was putting his audience, including Pia, on the defense.

“Let’s not forget that we’re in the business of producing and selling fantasy and entertainment,” Alison Black replied.

“The key word being business –and one that follows trends,” video channel executive Toure Peterson added. “So if the consumer likes what’s being supplied and keeps asking for more, who are we to stop giving it to them? And by the way I think this whole hyper-sexuality thing will eventually burn out.”

“And while we wait for the trend to burn itself out, what about all the damage it’s causing now? Ms. Jamison, you in the business of producing these videos. What’s your take on the subject?”

“My take is that the issue goes so much deeper. It’s about how we raise our children. Accountability and positive self-imagery starts at home.”

“Which is why family values must be resurrected in our community,” Valen inserted.

At the sound of that loaded phrase, which now felt like a personal attack on her own morality, Pia could feel her liberal sensibilities surfacing and could not resist turning the discussion political.

“Despite the fact that politicians like yourself have tried to co-op and turn idea of ‘family values’ into a narrow discussion of conservative sensibilities, it does behoove us to get to the root of the problem, which is not how we are portrayed on videos or in books, but how we each portray ourselves on a daily basis.”

“And I don’t see how you can tell me that what our children consume as entertainment on a daily basis does not affect how they behave,” Valen shot back.

Was that a smirk? Did he just smirk at me? Pia wondered, feeling her ire rise. In her head, she heard the screeching sound of the brakes bringing an immediate halt to her initial attraction to this pompous ass.

“Around this table you have gathered together five black people, as if to say that respect or lack of respect is a problem only in our community."

“It cannot be disputed that the black family is in crisis,” Valen argued back. The others in the room were struck by the escalating debate between the two and sat back quietly watching the drama unfold.

“Mr. Bellamy, the entire American family is in crisis. And by you pandering to the Black and Hispanic vote by simply drawing more attention to our problems but with no plan of action or budget to help solve them, I find it difficult to see you as anything more than an opportunist.

Without action and money behind it, 'Respect Yourself. Be Respected.' will prove to be just as ineffective as that last Republican backed, slogan-only campaign, ‘Just Say No’.”

There’s that damn smirk again. He thinks I’m funny?

“It may not be perfect, Ms. Jamison, but it is a start at taking back the destructive images and lifestyle choices disguised as art, which demean people and women of color in a soul destroying manner. Images you and your industry must also be held accountable for.

“Until respect becomes something people—young and old alike—demand of themselves for themselves we will never be respected as a people and never be given the opportunities and credit we deserve for being contributing world citizens.”

“And when is the GOP going to start respecting itself and this country and its citizens? When are you and your political cronies going to stop trashing America’s image and its people so we can be respected by the rest of the world for the super power we are—and not because we demanded it by pointing a gun in someone’s face, but because we earned it by doing the world good?” Pia countered angrily.

“That is an entirely different discussion, Ms. Jamison. One I will gladly debate at another time, but as we are here to discuss the specific topic of images in the media, I’d respectfully ask you stay on topic.”

“It is clear that you are here not to listen to our opinions but to merely give us yours. So, if you will excuse me, I must get back to work. Know that our discussion today has given me cause to think about how I can better do my part on this issue. So perhaps this afternoon was not a total waste of my time.”

Pia gathered her things and quickly exited the room. Damn. It was truly disappointing to meet such an attractive and intelligent man and watch him turn into a total asshole because of his political views. If Valen Bellamy was the cliché personified of sex and politics making strange bedfellows thank goodness she was back to being celibate.

There’s some smart from WMS. Next time—some sexy.