Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dear Santa, All I Want For Christmas...

Tis the season...I begin this post the same way I began the last for women who are shopping for their men during this holiday time. But I want to speak to you single lovelies who have the word "man" somewhere at or near the top of your Santa list.

This can be a tough season for singles because it's one of those times during the year (like New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day) when being alone can feel particularly lonely. But this is also the season for putting your wants and wishes into the air. I know that many of you, whether you've said it out loud or whispered it in your hearts, have added a man to your Santa wish list. But as I have found with my chosen weight loss program these past few years, wishing doesn't make it so.

If you are in the market to add a partner to your life, it’s also important to be concerned first and foremost about what YOU want in a man. We spend so much of our time worrying about being worthy and wondering why nobody seems to want us, that we have no idea what is really important to us when it comes down to the nitty gritty of love. We scour magazines and the Internet looking for clues to what men want and how we can become that girl so they will pick us. In our desire to “be what he wants,” most of us are willing to change ourselves and deny our own needs for the sake of having someone who we call 'special' in our lives. When we do this, we forget two important facts: 1) You ARE something special, damn it! And 2) Happiness is truly fleeting if you deny yourself and your truth. Because really, no man, no matter his looks, personality, or wealth will make you happy if he is ultimately not what YOU want.

So, get out your stationary and make your list. When you have the time, sit quietly and think about what you want in your mate. Don’t get caught up in the superficial—what he looks like, how much money he makes, how he dresses, where he was educated, what part of town he lives in, what kind of car he drives, etc. None of those things count in the long run. Concentrate on the personality qualities, morals and values that are deal breakers for you.

Take a look at your list of gentle demands. Is it reasonable? Would you be capable of meeting your own needs? Does it demand more of a mate than it does of yourself?

Tis the magical season of believing and receiving. So take a moment to focus on what you truly want. Once you’ve done that, you’ve taken the first step in creating it. Know what you want and ask for it. Then start doing the work to assure that you are a partner who is worthy and equal to one you are asking for.

Happy Holidays!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Go Beyond Mall Store Gift Giving

I decided to post my December Flirt Tip this month...

Tis the season for giving gifts and this year, let your lover find something a little different under the tree. In addition to that new gadget he's been hinting about, give him a taste of the holiday season that will keep on giving way after the Christmas tree comes down. Make your own gift certificates promising something uniquely personal and much more intimate than an iPad. Here are few ideas to get you going.

Gift him with an evening of sensual delight. Pick a date to make sex an event for the two of you. Remember when you were single and out to impress him and make him yours? Remember how interesting and exciting you made sex. Single sex tends to be more spontaneous, energetic and adventurous. When your man thinks about single sex, this is the mood he's missing and craving. He may love having married sex, which over the years becomes more about comfort than passion. So use the holidays to shake your married sex life up a bit. Give him a few nights of celebratory sex sprinkled throughout the year and make yourself Santa's favorite little elf.

Give him the gift of trust by presenting him with a boys night out without any drama or expectations. He loves you, but sometimes he needs a night out with his friends, just like you need that girlfriend getaway every now and again. Tuck a gift card under the tree with two tickets for him and his boy to a favorite sports event. Or plan and prepare a boys night in to watch a big game, with all of his favorite food and friends and then disappear and let them get their man on. Showing you trust him and letting him know you want him to be happy is truly a must have gift for the season.

If your household is anything like mine, your man is going to love this. Give him a six month free pass to make entertainment choices for the two of you. For half the year, let him pick the movies, the restaurants, the take out. Put your preferences on the back burner for just awhile and let him be the 'decider'. You'll be surprised that if you not only present this as a romantic gesture, and as you taking the opportunity to learn and enjoy life through his eyes, you'll score big brownie points and find yourself with a more cooperative mate the rest of the year!

The best gift of all is love. Extend the heartfelt romantic gesture of writing and gift wrapping a beautiful love letter expressing your feelings. Let him know he's more than your man, that he's your hero. Seal with a sexy, hot kiss and you'll be unwrapping the rest of your gifts December 26 as Christmas day will have become a lovers' holiday.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!