Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Take a Kaleidoscope View of Life

I collect very few things--interesting people, suns, charm bracelets and kaleidoscopes. Okay, jewelry too, but that has less to do with any kind of empowerment or spirituality and everything to do with my sincere belief that diamonds (and sapphires and emeralds and every gem in between) are indeed a girl's best friend. But let's not go down that road today.

Kaleidoscopes come in all sizes and price ranges and are amazing works of art. For those of you not familiar with these happy phenomenons, a kaleidoscope is a tube of mirrors containing loose colored beads, pebbles or other small colored objects. The viewer looks in one end and light enters the other end, reflecting off the mirrors. Typically there are two rectangular lengthwise mirrors. Setting of the mirrors at 45° creates eight duplicate images of the objects, six at 60°, and four at 90°. As the tube is rotated, the tumbling of the colored objects presents the viewer with varying colors and patterns. Any arbitrary pattern of objects shows up as a beautiful symmetric pattern because of the reflections in the mirrors (yes, I copied this directly from the Internet--my less-than-scientific definition is simply, "magic").

Never has a little smoke and mirrors been so gorgeous (we're not counting Spanx, here!), and for me they have become a metaphor for the remarkable resilience of the human spirit and a reminder that the true beauty of this world is not only in the eye of the beholder but is a creation of positive mind over matter. They speak to me of the beauty and power of new possibilities.

So what made me write about this now? Well let's see, I had to turn down a writing assignment--an all expense paid trip to Brazil no less, because I had already made a commitment I could not change. Then my heater has been out for three days (it's 35 degrees here during the day), a writing project I thought I'd sold fell through, and like everyone else, the economy is stressing me and my family out. So I sat, hunkered down in my bed under a mountain of blankets, and tearfully picked up my new kaleidoscope. I sat for several minutes marveling at the myriad of intricate patterns and light play and felt a quick renewal of hope. Instantly, my mood lifted and my attitude brightened with each pleasurable peek inside.

These were the thoughts left with me:

Something new and lovely awaits me at every turn...Nothing stays the same but change can be exciting and beautiful...Only movement can create awe-inspiring change...Pleasure is as simple as I make it...Wonderment is a marvelous thing...If I am in the moment, opportunity lost is always replaced with an opportunity found.

So, in these trying times take a kaleidoscope view of life. Find joy and beauty where you stand, recognize that sometimes it's the simple things that can get you through the moment, and that above all, positive change is coming. Watch the video below and see if you don't find calming comfort and joy in the changing patterns.

What do you think?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Four Little Details Men Notice About Women

Here's an article I found by Rich Santos of Marie Claire magazine. Good stuff about the little things men notice--and we're not talking boobs or butt here!

They say the "devil is in the details," but the other night, my friend and I were scanning the bar and noticing minor things about women. After reflecting on our observations, I put together four small things that guys notice that they don't often point out to women. Here they are:


I study a girl's hands pretty intensely. Beautiful hands can portray daintiness and strength at the same time. I notice manicures, and complexion. I imagine what it's like to hold them. I'm not much of a hand holder, but pretty hands will turn me into a hand holder. I even watch how a girl grips things. There are definitely different objects and shapes that look amazing in a girl's hands, such as a wine glass. A wine glass has delicate curves that play off a woman's hands. When I notice fingers that are appealing tome, I imagine how those fingertips would feel.


I've mentioned hair before, so I wouldn't say it's a "little thing". But hair can do simple actions that can evoke powerful emotions. One day I ran into my friend on the way to work-the friend that wore high heels to the soccer game. One thing's for sure: this girl really knows how to take care of and do her hair. We were just talking and walking when a gust of wind blew right down the street and ran through her hair. The indescribable motion that took place in her hair was beautiful. I even noticed that a random guy we passed turned his head and looked. I didn't realize until the day was over, but seeing that gust of wind go through my friend's hair put me in a good mood the rest of the day. So, while hair is a big deal, little random moments can create big, great things.

Attitude Towards Others

When I go out to dinner with a girl, I keep a close eye on how she treats a waiter or hostess. Does she say "thanks," and generally act polite and respectful? Sometimes I feel as if I'm overly cordial to people: I wish them a nice day and always make sure to say "thanks." But, what makes a woman has to do with more than just how she treats me. A person with a beautiful personality treats everyone nicely and respectfully. It's fun to be out with a girl and watch her make people smile from afar. It makes me feel proud and lucky that I'm with her. It's already an amazing thing when I meet a girl that can brighten my days. But if this girl brightens everyone's days, then I'm even luckier.

What Does She Notice?

It's fun meeting different people because they always bring a new perspective. When I break down music I love for people, they ask how I even care about every last little sound and note that I analyze and point out to them. What little things does a woman notice or point out? If we go to a Broadway show, for example,does she notice something in the background set? Does she notice the couple in front of us that are very much in love? Does she notice that the usher hates us because we are whispering and showed up just as the lights were going down? Sure, we share big thoughts and ideas with one another, but sometimes you can learn a lot about a person just by the details they notice in life and moments. It is a fun adventure going out with someone who can laugh at and notice little things, and who always brings new insights to different situations.

Once I realized that I was noticing little things, I came to the conclusion that little simple moments are just part of overall beauty. Beauty can be defined in a collection of moments, or memories more often than it can be defined by someone's appearance.

Seeing a girl across the room, holding a wine glass with pretty hands and making people smile, or a moment in the morning where the windr uns through a girl's hair, or a girl I'm noticing someone walking by in a Members Only jacket, are simple moments that should never be taken for granted.

What is a little thing (appearance, moment or personality)that you notice in a guy that is a simple, beautiful thing?

Friday, November 7, 2008

October Poll Results...Talkin' Naughty

Here are your poll results for October. You all are some naughty little talkers. You go girls!

71% Say naughty talk is exciting for both of you

14% Say naughty talk is something you'd like to do but don't feel comfortable with

14% Say naughty talk is something you'd like him to do but don't know how to ask

0% Say naughty talk is rude and disrespectful

Naughty talk is a type of pillow talk. You can use vivid words to add to your sexual enjoyment before and during the lovemaking. Talking dirty can be anything from giving him insults, supplying him with vivid images, to whispering descriptive curse words to your guy's ear.

If you feel shy about it, consider this to be a hot little secret just between the two of you. Relax and let go. Think of it as adding a new, more adventure chapter to your love life.

The trick is to be direct (naughty talk is not about nuance) and go with the flow. If you or your lover are initially shy, begin with comments versus a running dialogue. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. Tell him what you're wearing under your clothing, and ask him what's under his.
2. Put on sexy lingerie (or wear none at all) and give him a tiny peek when he first sees you and no more until it's time for the entire reveal. Anticipation is a huge turn on.
3. Leave him a suggestive voice message on his cell (never on his office phone).
4. Whisper your desires in his ear while out in public.
5. Send him a text message. Short, sweet and definitely to the point.
6. Give him something to think about as he's dashing out the door for work.
7. Email him some sassy notes (again not to the company computer).

Ready for a conversation? After a glass of wine or two to lower your inhibitions, start by telling him about something he does that you enjoy and turns you on or clue him in on what body parts of his are your particular favorites. Be as descriptive as possible. Don't worry about being embarrassed, in fact use it to your advantage. Whisper it in his ear so you don't have to look him in the eye. Believe me, the images you conjure up will cause a reaction that is bound to get your confidence flowing!

If a little dirty talk floats your boat, don't be afraid to suggest it. Men really want to please their lovers, so ask him to tell you what turns him on. Get him going by asking questions like, "Would you like to touch my (you fill in what you want touched)?" You'll not only learn about what's arousing your partner most, but you can also subtly direct the conversation to suit your desires, be they kinky or romantic.

Sometime all talk is all the action you need!

What do you think?