Stiletto U Comes to the Learning Annex

Stiletto University is coming to The Learning Annex via Ustream on July 19th at 2:20pm. I'll be 'teaching' two quickie lessons (approximately 20 minutes). See below for class descriptions and then follow the link to Ustream to register for this PPV class. The best $0.99 you ever spent!

The Power of WOW: Tips to Unleashing the Confident, Sexy You July 19th 2:20-2:40pm.

Have you ever noticed that some people just seem to turn heads and get noticed where ever they go? Do you find your self wondering, “What do they have that you don't?” Well wonder no more. The Power of WOW will teach you the basic tenants of unearthing and unleashing that indefinable “it” factor that we all possess but most of us don't know how to access. From the bedroom to the boardroom and everywhere in between, the Power of WOW will teach you how to unearth and unleash your personal brand of WOW in order to live the life you desire.


Let Your Bad Girl Come Out to Play: How to Become Deliciously, Delightfully Scandalous July 19th, 3:00 PM - 3:20 PM ET

In her work as a sensuality coach, Lori Bryant Woolridge found that the number one wish of her students was to shed their good girl ways and add a little naughty to their nice. If you're wondering why your inner desires don't match your outer persona, and are dying to change but have no idea where to begin, I'll show you how to let your bad girl come out to play so you can become a lovely, lusty lady you want to be.

See you in class!

Snowflakes...The Science of Sexy

First, I should say Happy New Year!

I apologize for not blogging more, but I've been trapped first under a blizzard of work, and more recently, under a blizzard of snow. And the snow got me to thinking and wanting to remind you that Mother Nature is such a sexy mama!

If you follow this blog or have come to any of my workshops, you know that I truly believe that if you really want to emulate another woman, look to Mother Nature. She is the one babe I know who always has her priorities so straight. Her spectacular winter look is just one gleaming example of how good she really is.

For me, snow, and snowflakes in particular, exemplify the science of sexy. There’s so much physics behind the microscopic lattice of H2O molecules underlying such a lovely shape, with the pleasant C6 symmetry of the macroscopic result - the snowflake (yeah, I didn't understand that either. I so copied that straight from the website!). In other words, scientifically speaking, all of the lovely sorts of shapes you get depend upon temperature and supersaturation of the water vapour that condenses to form the snowflake. (Check out the lab website of Kenneth G. Libbrecht, of Caltech. for much more information.)

Another way to look at it--Snowflakes are one of Mother Nature's amazing feats of pure magic. Out of the billions of snowflakes that fall each season, no two are alike. They don't fall to earth in a clump, but one-by-one showcasing their fantastic selves. And though once they land it's hard to point out their differences in a crowded drift, they all stand together to create the amazing snowscapes of winter. And if you take the time to look close enough (okay with the help of a microscope)you'll bear witness to their unique beauty. Once again proving, that it's only through the marked beauty of the individual that the whole can shine.

So, while you have all of this snowy inspiration around you, take the time this winter not to simply hibernate, but to locate, unearth and then revel in your uniqueness. Separate yourself from the drift--through your look, words and deeds--and allow the world to see what an amazing impact you make in your little corner of the world.

FYI, the snowflakes I've included in this entry are REAL. To see more, click the link on the title. Unique and absolutely fabulous--just like you!

Joan Collins Has A Point

Eighties diva, Joan Collins, caused quite a stir recently when she announced that while Angelina Jolie was "gorgeous" her tabloid nemesis, Jennifer Aniston was "cute, but I wouldn't call her beautiful."

You know, I have to agree with her, and frankly, while everyone else seemed to turn Joan's comments into one great big diss, I don't see it that way. I think her comparison was exactly right.

Everything about Jennifer Aniston screams cute. Her look is safe, approachable and right from the good girl next door style rack. Her personality and personal charisma, or at least that which is revealed to the public, is sweet, endearing, and slightly guarded. Jen's brand of sexy is natural and cute, and the combination makes the men in her life want to take care of her, even though it's obvious since her split from Mr. Pitt that she's quite capable of looking after herself.

Angelina, on the other hand, has a personal style and charisma that is bigger,riskier and much more outwardly sultry and sexy than Jen's. Her life and lifestyle do appear to be more fully expressed and glamorous. Her look is hot and, well, gorgeous. Angie's brand of sexy is smoking hot, which can be as exciting as it can be intimidating to the shy guy.

Where I think Joan Collins went wrong, was in comparing the two women and making comments that made it sound like one look was better than the other. What Joan failed to realize is that each woman is working her natural strengths, owning her look and true charisma and living her life.

Follow the example of both of these lovely ladies. Own your unique brand of secy and do you.

Get Ready for a Sexy September

I'm sure you've noticed that my blog entries have been a little lacking this month. I apologize, but see what had happen was, first, some kind of technical snafu with blogspot kept me from blogging, and then with all of my book touring and personal vacation time and getting my son ready to leave for college next week, well finding time to blog has been tough.

So WMS is officially on hiatus for the rest of August and will return on September 6 for a month dedicated to thoughts on S.E.X. The things I want to discuss involve feeling good about sex as a woman; about knowing how to do more than turn on your lover, but also how to recognize your own sexual power and how to use the power of the punani to benefit you and your partner. We'll be talking about looking at new ways to apporach sex--with an eye on playfulness, a sense of adventure and a commitment to your own pleasure.

So enjoy the rest of your summer and get ready for a Sexy September! In the meantime, if you have any questions, comments or suggested topics send them along to mass.seduction@yahoo.com

Until the sixth, think sexy thoughts!

What's Sexy?

My daughter, who is 14 and about to enter high school this fall, finally said the "S" word. She told me she wanted to be "sexy." When I asked her to explain to me what she thought sexy was, she, like most of us, was at a loss for words. So I of course took the opportunity fill in the blanks for her.

My first response to her was "Sexy is a clean body. Sexy is fresh breath. Sexy is skin that's soft and not ashy." "Sexy is a genuine smile." "Sexy is a clean room." (okay, that was a little behavior modification, but it can't hurt!). "Sexy is clean underwear." Apparently that wasn't the message she was trying to hear, (but believe me I'll be in her ear with it for the duration) and she all but knocked me down trying to answer her cell phone.

Well that conversation got me to thinking and I decided to share with you what other things I think are sexy. Okay, truth is, I was on a roll with nobody to listen. So here we go!

Kindness is sexy. Laughter is sexy. Realness is sexy. Smart is sexy. Humor is sexy. Bold is sexy. SAFE is sexy. Truth is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Passion is sexy. Quirky is sexy. (Strange is not!) Individualism is sexy. Mystery is sexy.
Compassion is sexy. Fairness is sexy. Natural is sexy. Loving God is sexy. Love yourself is sexy.

These are all the things I want to explain to my daughter when she is willing to listen. I want her to know that she is sexy because she is who she is. That sexy isn't a mold every woman has to stuff herself into. It doesn't come in a bottle and she won't find it hanging on the size 2 rack. That she has the right to be sexy on her own terms and she shouldn't judge hers, or anyone else's sexiness by any rigid cultural, societal or media implied standards.

She is the new (and improved) sexy and, so by the way, are you.

What do you think?

Oh God, It's Bathing Suit Time Again

I'm depressed today. It happens every year around this time. I start making vacation plans, which always include water because I love the ocean and I love the feel of the sun on my skin. I start getting my little fun in the sun wardrobe together down and then it comes time to purchase the suit and that's when I get depressed.

Okay, I know. I'm supposed to be the motivational guru for being sexy in your own skin, but damn, I am only human. Sure, most of the year, I feel great and blessed to be me. I mean, I'm not perfect, my boobs may no longer be in the right place but my heart sure is. In a couple of weeks I'll be 49 and I do feel sexy and confident and zesty...most of the time. But not now because...

...it's bathing suit time again.

I thought I had licked this problem last year when I took a cruise by myself to work on my book. I was not there to play but to work and I promised myself that if I met my goal, I would take the day off at the end of the week and treat myself to a little sun and beach and jewelry buying in St. Maarten. So, each morning I would throw on my one piece and go out onto my balcony with my laptop and write, soaking up a few rays in private. And each afternoon I'd throw on my very cute cover up and kitten heels and go up on deck to get lunch and wade through a sea of bodies, many clad in itty bitty bikini's that well, I felt shouldn't be. I'd shake my head, giggle to myself and keep on struttin' smugly thinking that I was looking pretty cute after all.

Then about the fourth day of feeling hot and sweaty covering myself up on deck because my body wasn't 'perfect,' it dawned on me that these women were the one's that really had it going on. They were the ones having fun, enjoying the sun on their bare skin, not giving a damn who was looking or being judgemental (uh, that would be me). They were happy being who they were, where they were, looking the way they did. And I decided right then and there that the next day in St. Maarten, I was going to buy a bikini and liberate my tired, way too flabby ego.

And I did. I got off that ship and marched into town and bought the first bikini that fit (believe me, it wasn't the first or second or the sixteenth I tried on). I wanted it black, I mean even if it was only one quarter of a yard of material,black makes you look skinny, right? Well, the only one that fit happened to be bright red. Cherry-ain't-no-way-in-hell-you-ain't-going-to-be-noticed-now red. That's okay, I had a new attitude and I wore that bad boy out the store (under my sundress) and strut my cherry red behind right down to the beach. I disrobed and felt that lovely sun kissing my near naked body and ceased to give a damn about what anyone, especially me, thought about what I did or didn't look like. And you know what, I didn't care about what the other bodies around me looked like either (except for that one hunky, ripped Antonio Banderas looking guy a couple towels down).

I carried that liberated feeling and those sexy bikini tan lines with me for the rest of the summer and into the fall and winter. But here I am again back to the idiot idea of chasing a body image instead of being satisfied with my self-image. Why are we women so hard headed and so hard on ourselves? We will love everyone else around us with all their glorious flaws--everyone except ourselves.

Damn. I learned the lesson but have yet to mastered it. Maybe next summer.

Ah hell, let me put this chocolate down and go pull out that sucker right now. No time like the present to remind myself that sexy starts in your head, where it ends is what makes your body smile!

What do you think?

A Conversation With My Friend...Nina Foxx

My fellow Femme, Nina Foxx, is not only a prolific writer, she's queen of the media-tech geek squad (sexy, smart as hell, major shoe label geeks mind you, They don't call her "Foxx" for nothing). While the rest of us are just trying to figure out these blogs, she has started a series of podcasts called A Conversation With

Friends. I was lucky enough to be one of her first girl chats. Take a listen and then roll over to the The Vixen Chronicles to hear more from this frighteningly talented woman.

Listen now to our conversation.

Sexy Soccer Mom

I had a photo shoot for a national magazine yesterday and can I tell you something...it's hard work trying to be America's Next Top Model...particularly when having your picture taken has the same pleasure potential as a leg wax with a salt scrub chaser. It's painful.

This saga all began when I got an email from my publicist giving me the details for the shoot. They wanted to photograph me in my office and wanted the look and feel to be sexy and sophisticated. I could live with that. But the line that gave me pause was: "They want to portray you as a sexy soccer mom."

Okay, now I do consider myself to be sexy woman and I am definitely a proud soccer mom, have been since my son was four, but "sexy soccer mom" is not a tag I'd wear on my lapel. I don't do sexy on the sidelines. In fact, sexy is the last thing I'm thinking about as I'm screaming out things like, "push up" or "man on, man on" or "goaaaaaaaal" (though now that I see it in print, it does sound kind of sexy, but let's keep it all in context, shall we).

All this to say that right from the gitgo, their label was making me nervous.

Anyway, I get to the shoot with the wardrobe they'd asked me to bring--pencil skirt, simple top and high, high heels. Not a problem. My closet is full of those very items. I also packed up a signature charm bracelet and four pairs of my favorite CFM heels. Not so soccer momish, I think. Very me. I can do this, I decide. Then the photographer and makeup artist take a look at my selection.

"I thought it was supposed to be a sexy shoot." I overheard him say.

"It will be once I'm in them," I interjected from the next room. He laughed. I sounded all confident and in charge, but his comment definitely threw me and shook my resolve.

"Hey, where's my champagne split with a straw?" I joked, thinking a nice buzz would ease my nerves. I got water. I guess it wasn't that kind of shoot.

Professional makeup should help. It took the make up artist twenty minutes just to set up and when I got to the table there were, no lie, at least 40 different items laid out. Hmm, no wonder Halle Berry looks so damn good, I think. My cosmetic bag contains five items and I use every one--MAC Studio fix, blush, concealer, mascara and lipstick. Putting on make up for me takes ten minutes top.

First, she rolled my hair in curlers and then led me over to the stool. I sat down and she proceeded to dip and dab and mix and brush and swirl her custom coverage on my face. I just sat back and let her do her thing until she pulled out the false eyelashes. Oh hell no. I am not Tammye Faye Baker, bless her soul.

"Are those really necessary?" I asked.

"They'll give you a sexy eye for the camera," she responded.

I don't do false eyelashes so I didn't realize that until the glue dries they weigh a ton. All I knew was that I could barely open my eyes and "sexy soccer mom' suddenly felt like a drag queen. Painted and powered and with my eyelids falling shut, she led me back to the hair chair and proceeded to remove the curlers and style my hair.

Did I mention there is no mirror around? I had no idea what I looked like. But I felt pampered and celebrified, so I was happy. The photographer was ready. His light was perfect. Time to get dressed and on set. Then I see my reflection in the mirror. I look glammed up for sure, but it was so not me. I didn't feel comfortable and if I didn't feel comfortable, no way sexy and sophisticated was going to come across. So I cashed in a diva chip---you know, in a nice soccer mom kind of way.

"Umm, this look isn't working for me."

We compromised on the lashes and a hot flat iron and fifteen minutes later I was on set.

"Give me sexy." "That line is too straight. Can you bend your legs that way?" "Roll on that hip more." "Sit down." "Stand up." "Be sexy." "Make up." Cross your legs." "Smile." "Don't smile." "Not so big." "More smile." "Be beautiful." "Turn here." "Sexy. Hot." "Turn there." "Change your clothes." "Give it to me." "Do something different." "Give me something more." "Come on, you're sexy, show me."

Three hours later, I'm tired, hungry and bored. He's got amazing light and renewed imagination. "I need something different and sexy."

Diva chip number two definitely delivered with more attitude. "Man, I gave you all the sexy I had three hours ago. Right now, it's about getting the lucky shot."

A few clicks later and "that's a wrap."

What's the moral of this story? It's twofold: First, you can't wear someone else's label of who you are and expect to feel confident and comfortable. Sexy isn't a costume you pull on and off and it can't be someone else's vision of what sexy looks or feels like for you. If your look isn't authentic then you're forcing yourself into an artifical role, and I don't know about you but that's not a good look for me. My faux "sexy soccer mom" look was determined by an art director and makeup person. Who is determining yours? Celebrities and models? Fashion designers? Your man? Your girlfriends? Or do you decide your own sexy style?

Secondly, sexy on demand is unnatural and uninspired. It doesn't matter what someone else's expectations of you are, if you aren't feeling it, you can't work it. So always, to thine own self be true. Only then will the true WMS in you shine.

What do you think?