The Lexis Trap

I admit it. I am a word whore. I love words. I love to hear them whispered in my ear and I love the way some words excite my mouth. I love to see them all strung together in a sentences that makes a reader stop and laugh or stop and cry or best of all, stop and think. I learned a long time ago that words have the power to changes minds, moods and lives. Yeah, I'm a word whore. I just can't get enough.

But I also know that while words can be used to entice, empower, thrill and titillate, they can also be like quicksand, causing us to get caught up in definitions and innuendos that we simply take for granted. So as often as we allow words to enrapture us, too many times we also let them entrap us. And this is particularly true when it comes to words connected to sex and sensuality.

For example:

To be sexy is the secret wish of the majority of women all over the world. (Okay, maybe be not those under the rule of the Taliban, but they have other, more pressing issues to deal with.) But have you ever really defined this word, look, attitude for yourself or have you done what most of us do and let others define it and then try in vain to fit into a mental and physical definition that doesn’t come close to the reality of our lives, lifestyles and not to mention our bodies?

Is it a wonder that we are feeling so confused and disconnected from our true sexy selves, fantasies and desires?

It's time to ask yourself: Is your sensuality and feminine confidence caught in the trap of connotation? Have common words and their definitions ensnared you within boundaries set by someone else? Take a minute to do the following exercise. Jot down the first word(s) that come to mind for each of the following:

Sensuality:


Flirtatious:


Scandalous:


Lust:


Bad Girl:


Wild Woman:

Now, go further and write a line or two more fully defining your personal thoughts of the word. Then, look up the actual definition. How do your thoughts differ?

Do you find that most of these words had a negative connotation for you? If so, where do you think those feelings came from? Explore this.

Now give each of these words a positive connotation based on your personal moral code and sense of integrity.

As En Vogue so aptly put: "Free your mind and the rest will follow."

Now go, be a whore for something you love.