Stiletto U Comes to the Learning Annex

Stiletto University is coming to The Learning Annex via Ustream on July 19th at 2:20pm. I'll be 'teaching' two quickie lessons (approximately 20 minutes). See below for class descriptions and then follow the link to Ustream to register for this PPV class. The best $0.99 you ever spent!

The Power of WOW: Tips to Unleashing the Confident, Sexy You July 19th 2:20-2:40pm.

Have you ever noticed that some people just seem to turn heads and get noticed where ever they go? Do you find your self wondering, “What do they have that you don't?” Well wonder no more. The Power of WOW will teach you the basic tenants of unearthing and unleashing that indefinable “it” factor that we all possess but most of us don't know how to access. From the bedroom to the boardroom and everywhere in between, the Power of WOW will teach you how to unearth and unleash your personal brand of WOW in order to live the life you desire.


Let Your Bad Girl Come Out to Play: How to Become Deliciously, Delightfully Scandalous July 19th, 3:00 PM - 3:20 PM ET

In her work as a sensuality coach, Lori Bryant Woolridge found that the number one wish of her students was to shed their good girl ways and add a little naughty to their nice. If you're wondering why your inner desires don't match your outer persona, and are dying to change but have no idea where to begin, I'll show you how to let your bad girl come out to play so you can become a lovely, lusty lady you want to be.

See you in class!

Friday Flirt Tip: Backseat Booty Call

A recent survey says that 65 percent of Americans have had sex in a car. I don't know about you, but I was always taught that car sex was definitely a bad girl move that good girls would never consider. But now, I'm thinking...not so fast. What a delightfully scandalous move to add to your arsenal of flirty, sexy, good girl moves!

The thing about car sex is that it just reeks of erotic spontaneity. Done the right way, your bad girl can come out to play and take him for the ride of his life!

So let's clarify: from a bad girl perspective, car sex would include sex with a stranger in a public place. While the voyeuristic aspect of this approach can have a certain appeal for some, this can present a myriad of problems, including getting slapped with a misdemeanor and charged with public indecency or indecent exposure.

So if you want the only handcuffs used to be yours, consider our naughty but nice good girl spin on this park and play activity--hot and sweaty car sex with your man in the safety of your own garage.

If you're game, climb into the driver's seat and plan your sexy ambush. Get a handle on when he will arrive home and listen for his arrival, prepared to pounce. As soon as he pulls in and turns off the engine (a true safe sex move in this instance), shut the garage door and dressed in as little as possible, pull him into the back seat and jump his bones. He'll be totally surprised and you'll get sexy brownie points for being his hot, imaginative and spontaneous nasty girl.

Feeling just a bit more freaky? Try this outside in the driveway. Just make sure you're not parked under a streetlight and your neighborhood watch isn't on patrol!

The Lexis Trap

I admit it. I am a word whore. I love words. I love to hear them whispered in my ear and I love the way some words excite my mouth. I love to see them all strung together in a sentences that makes a reader stop and laugh or stop and cry or best of all, stop and think. I learned a long time ago that words have the power to changes minds, moods and lives. Yeah, I'm a word whore. I just can't get enough.

But I also know that while words can be used to entice, empower, thrill and titillate, they can also be like quicksand, causing us to get caught up in definitions and innuendos that we simply take for granted. So as often as we allow words to enrapture us, too many times we also let them entrap us. And this is particularly true when it comes to words connected to sex and sensuality.

For example:

To be sexy is the secret wish of the majority of women all over the world. (Okay, maybe be not those under the rule of the Taliban, but they have other, more pressing issues to deal with.) But have you ever really defined this word, look, attitude for yourself or have you done what most of us do and let others define it and then try in vain to fit into a mental and physical definition that doesn’t come close to the reality of our lives, lifestyles and not to mention our bodies?

Is it a wonder that we are feeling so confused and disconnected from our true sexy selves, fantasies and desires?

It's time to ask yourself: Is your sensuality and feminine confidence caught in the trap of connotation? Have common words and their definitions ensnared you within boundaries set by someone else? Take a minute to do the following exercise. Jot down the first word(s) that come to mind for each of the following:

Sensuality:


Flirtatious:


Scandalous:


Lust:


Bad Girl:


Wild Woman:

Now, go further and write a line or two more fully defining your personal thoughts of the word. Then, look up the actual definition. How do your thoughts differ?

Do you find that most of these words had a negative connotation for you? If so, where do you think those feelings came from? Explore this.

Now give each of these words a positive connotation based on your personal moral code and sense of integrity.

As En Vogue so aptly put: "Free your mind and the rest will follow."

Now go, be a whore for something you love.

Just How Do You Let Your Bad Girl Loose?

There was a comment left on the blog entry about letting your bad girl come out and play. The reader thought it was a great idea but wanted to know, "how?"

My immediate answer is to redefine in your head what it means to be a 'bad". After all, who defined what a bad girl is or does anyway? If it wasn't you, the whole subject deserves a second thought.

Free yourself from the boundaries that the expectations of others have placed on you. It's time to OWN your sexuality and stop being afraid of it and what you 'think' it means to be sexually liberated.

If words are going to rule your world, maybe if you thought of it as putting a little naughty with your nice, you'd feel more comfortable. And I know it's getting close to Christmas and all but I'm sure your Santa Baby would definitely approve!

Here's an excerpt from a great book, The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex.

"Life is too short to waste being good. It's time for you to learn to enjoy what all the Bad Girls know.

"Bad Girls have no shame. What does that mean? It means that they are proud of who they are and what they feel. They love being bad and they have no interest in hiding that. Bad girls are not ashamed to feel desire. They are not ashamed to admit their desire or act on it.

"Bad Girls announce their intentions. They announce them with the way they walk, the way they talk, and the way they dress and undress. They announce their intentions when they stand up, when they sit down, when they eat, and when they smile. What are a Bad Girl's intentions: To be hot, to be in touch, and to be fully alive with herself and her sexual partner. Clear, powerful, to the point and very, very Bad. Yet they express this in a way that is never cheap, never trashy, never tawdry. Bad Girls feel sexy and fabulous and desirable. They don't need to be "good"; they love how it feels being bad.

"Let's look at those intentions again: "To be hot, to be in touch, and to be fully sexually alive with her sexual partner." What are you thinking to yourself right now? Are you thinking, "I have the same intentions?" I think you are, and I hope you are, yet there is a world of difference between having those intentions and living those intentions out loud. Bad Girls live out loud. That's what sets them apart. Don't let that discourage you. Turn yours up just a little at first, and then a little bit more every time as you get increasingly comfortable."

Live Out Loud.

What do you think?

Let Your Bad Girl Come Out To Play

If you've been reading this blog, you know that I am doing a case study workshop called Stiletto Camp as research for a nonfiction book I'm writing. I'm working with ten amazing women from all over the country who range in age from 31 to 52. Some are married, some divorced, others never have been married. They are mothers, step-mothers, and childless. Some ladies have been with their lovers for years others a few months. A few are celibate, one by choice the others by chance. Needless to say, they are an eclectic group of wants and needs. All are itching to get their sexy back.

And the majority seem to also have a common desire--they want to shed their good girl ways and add a little naughty to their nice.

Working with these ten lovelies this week got me to thinking about how so many of us good girls out in the world are missing out on much of the good clean lust (okay, maybe squeaky clean) life has to offer because we're stuck in good girl persona.

I say, it's time to support the bad girl in you and let her come out to play.

First, before we do, let's get a few things straight. Being a bad girl does not mean being immoral or doing anything illegal; acting cheap or tawdry; disrespecting yourself or others; or engaging in indiscriminate sex.

Women who engage in the aforementioned lifestyle aren't Bad Girls, they're troubled girls.

So let's define what being bad means for ourselves. Being bad means loving sex, being sexually confident, being physically uninhibited, having a healthy sexual appetite and knowing how to feed it. Being bad means being unashamed of being assertive, knowing what you want and asking for it. It means being fully in the moment and happily orgasmic. It means knowing that safe IS sexy.

Now I ask you: Doesn't being bad sound awfully good?

So why then are we so afraid to explore our sexual sides with the gusto both we and our lovers deserve?

I know...a loaded question with a history of psychological head trips played on us throughout the generations.

Maybe it's best that we reach back into the generations to one of the baddest bad girls of all times for a bit of wisdom. Here is a classic thought from Mae West. Let it be your mantra as you allow your Bad Girl out to play.

"When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad I'm better."

What do you think?