Snow Angels and Other Gifts of Innocence

Happy 2009! I've finally sat down (okay sobered up) long enough to reflect a bit on Christmas past.

I don't know about you, but I was happy as hell to see 2008 head on out the door (with the imprint of my size 8 stiletto planted firmly on its behind). What a year! Yes, we elected President-elect Obama but that joy was swiftly replaced by the reality of a deep economic recession that touches all of us--no matter how high or low on the hog we're accustomed to living. By Thanksgiving we were all left feeling scared, uncertain, vulnerable and just a little bit helpless.

And then the holiday season kicked into high gear and with it the need to give our families (particularly our kids) the kind of comfort and joy they are used to feeling around this season, while now, we broke-ass Santas were feeling a lot less jolly.

But, as they say, with every cloud there is a silver lining. I decided to let go and let God but also loose and let laughter reign. Once I stopped worrying about the fact that I couldn't surround myself or family with the high pricedthings this Christmas, I had this major 'ah ha' moment. A lot of expensive stuff may not be possible but I could surround them with pleasure and that's when I decided to give myself and my family the gift of returned innocence.

First, I made the house look and smell as joyous as possible. Fresh pointsetta plants, cinnamon scented pine cones and candles, a fresh pine tree decorated with treasured ornaments and colorful lights (wasn't in the mood for serene, classic white lights this year). Candlelight sparkled everywhere, every night. Music filled the house and though there was more room under the tree than in previous years, Christmas was alive and well in the Woolridge household.

Without all the shopping to do, we rediscovered how amazing the season could be. We cooked for family and friends--everything from gumbo to pork tenderloin with red onion jam. I also took myself into Manhattan for the sole purpose of walking, watching, window shopping and really enjoying the holiday ambiance--something after all of these years of living just outside of the city I rarely did. I didn't step foot into one store but instead witnessed a true wonderland. The majestic tree and colorful ice skaters in Rockerfeller Center, the decorated shop windows, the horse drawn buggies and the amazed and happy faces of tourists who picked a great time to witness New York City for the first time. The herds of smiling face blocking the streets as the Radio City Hall Christmas show let out. I sat in St. Patrick's Cathedral and prayed and meditated for a better year for all of us and was gifted by a chorus of angels rehearsing for Christmas mass.

It was fabulous, soul-stirring, smile-rendering and but for train fare--free.

And then it snowed. My world was covered in white, glistening snow just as Christmas time should be. And leaving behind all of their video games, ipods, iphones, and on- line social sites, my nearly grown kids went out and played in the snow. Snowball fights ensued, snow angels took flight and hot chocolate awaited them.

Santa regifted us with innocence this Christmas. It kind of sounds corny as I write this all down but to let me know that 2009 is going to be all right after all. It also reminds me that sensual living usurps material living any and every day.

What do you think?

Tis the Season for Sensuality

I am not going to lie. Two days ago there were twenty-three days left before Christmas, and I was feeling a little like Scrooge. Okay, A LOT like Scrooge.

And why wouldn't I? Like everyone else in the country, I'm walking around with the ghost of damn these holidays trailing behind me. Money is tight and looks like will only get tighter. Another year has come and gone and I still can't fit into my favorite, go-to LBD, plus my current diet supplements of pumpkin bread slathered in cream cheese and washed down with the cocktail du jour don't seem to be helping. My back is claiming its age and my everlasting wanderlust has been doused with a big fat reality check--the only check I've seen in weeks. Also the kids have written their annual Santa list (even though they are 19 and 15, I refuse to let them call it anything else!) and teenagers or not, you don't want to disappoint the little ones at Christmas. And I haven't even begun to list my brothers and sisters, their kids, my godkids and friends.

Happy holidays, my too big to get into my fav dress ass!!

(Pause for my private pity party...Bitchandmoanbitchandmoanbitchandmoan...)

But then I got a sensory reminder that has changed my entire attitude. See, what had happen was, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond armed in search of a mattress topper to aid my ailing back. Believe me, I was looking right ugly and feeling mean as the frickin' Grinch and did not give one damn. And as Cedric the Entertainer pointed out, I wished somebody would jump in front of me in line or do something equally stupid. I simply wanted to get in and out and back home before the Motrin wore off. But as soon as I walked through the sliding doors everything changed. My nostrils were welcomed with the wonderfully delicious smell of cinnamon scented pine cones. The smell literally stopped me in my tracks and with each yummy inhale I started to feel more centered and calm.

As holiday shoppers swirled around me, I stood in the middle of the aisle with my eyes closed shut and my nose open wide as smile producing memories came flooding into my mind. Taking the kids to chop down the Christmas tree. Watching the delight in their eyes as the lights went on and gave the room a soft cheery glow. Putting together toys in front of the roaring fireplace. Unwrapping each ornament and decorating the tree. Smelling the fresh pine scent and feeling the lush fir tickle my arms. The carols piped in throughout the store just added to the ambiance and before I knew it, I was smiling and actually feeling uplifted and joyful.

One big whiff and suddenly I felt all merry and bright. I mean, I still looked like a homeless woman, but now felt like a Christmas angel. I drifted through the aisles, humming the tune to Star Bright, and found my mattress pad. Then I moseyed over and picked up a couple of bags of pine cones, helped a lady in line in front of me on with her coat, who in turn gifted me with a 20% off coupon.

All this to say that once again living through my senses pulled me out of my bah humbug mood, changed my energy and gifted me to boot! And I offer you the same advice. This year has the potential to be a really hard and depressing holiday season if you allow the pressing forces outside to squeeze the joy you possess inside. Surround yourself with all the sounds, scents, tastes, sights, and textures of the season and make yourself and your family happy by treating them to the simple pleasures that really do make us feel alive and joyful.

What do you think?