Tis the Season for Sensuality

I am not going to lie. Two days ago there were twenty-three days left before Christmas, and I was feeling a little like Scrooge. Okay, A LOT like Scrooge.

And why wouldn't I? Like everyone else in the country, I'm walking around with the ghost of damn these holidays trailing behind me. Money is tight and looks like will only get tighter. Another year has come and gone and I still can't fit into my favorite, go-to LBD, plus my current diet supplements of pumpkin bread slathered in cream cheese and washed down with the cocktail du jour don't seem to be helping. My back is claiming its age and my everlasting wanderlust has been doused with a big fat reality check--the only check I've seen in weeks. Also the kids have written their annual Santa list (even though they are 19 and 15, I refuse to let them call it anything else!) and teenagers or not, you don't want to disappoint the little ones at Christmas. And I haven't even begun to list my brothers and sisters, their kids, my godkids and friends.

Happy holidays, my too big to get into my fav dress ass!!

(Pause for my private pity party...Bitchandmoanbitchandmoanbitchandmoan...)

But then I got a sensory reminder that has changed my entire attitude. See, what had happen was, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond armed in search of a mattress topper to aid my ailing back. Believe me, I was looking right ugly and feeling mean as the frickin' Grinch and did not give one damn. And as Cedric the Entertainer pointed out, I wished somebody would jump in front of me in line or do something equally stupid. I simply wanted to get in and out and back home before the Motrin wore off. But as soon as I walked through the sliding doors everything changed. My nostrils were welcomed with the wonderfully delicious smell of cinnamon scented pine cones. The smell literally stopped me in my tracks and with each yummy inhale I started to feel more centered and calm.

As holiday shoppers swirled around me, I stood in the middle of the aisle with my eyes closed shut and my nose open wide as smile producing memories came flooding into my mind. Taking the kids to chop down the Christmas tree. Watching the delight in their eyes as the lights went on and gave the room a soft cheery glow. Putting together toys in front of the roaring fireplace. Unwrapping each ornament and decorating the tree. Smelling the fresh pine scent and feeling the lush fir tickle my arms. The carols piped in throughout the store just added to the ambiance and before I knew it, I was smiling and actually feeling uplifted and joyful.

One big whiff and suddenly I felt all merry and bright. I mean, I still looked like a homeless woman, but now felt like a Christmas angel. I drifted through the aisles, humming the tune to Star Bright, and found my mattress pad. Then I moseyed over and picked up a couple of bags of pine cones, helped a lady in line in front of me on with her coat, who in turn gifted me with a 20% off coupon.

All this to say that once again living through my senses pulled me out of my bah humbug mood, changed my energy and gifted me to boot! And I offer you the same advice. This year has the potential to be a really hard and depressing holiday season if you allow the pressing forces outside to squeeze the joy you possess inside. Surround yourself with all the sounds, scents, tastes, sights, and textures of the season and make yourself and your family happy by treating them to the simple pleasures that really do make us feel alive and joyful.

What do you think?

Unearthing Your Sensual Man

For those of us women who have discovered the power and pleasure of living sensuously, trying to enroll our families, particularly our men, into the lifestyle can be a challenge. Most of us would argue that the men in our lives, while great, are not necessarily the sensitive, let-me-stop-and-sniff-the-flowers types. But not so fast.

It is amazing how often we are wrong about what men do and don’t like. And while it’s true you may not get him to walk with you and be awed to tears by the natural beauty that surrounds him, don’t think for a moment that men, no matter how macho, don’t appreciate the experience of living sensually. I emphasize the word ‘experience’ because conceptually, sensuality is not on the conscious radar of the vast majority of men. But you’d be hard pressed to find one that won’t enjoy it when he’s in the midst of your sensual world.

In other words, in order to unearth your sensual man, you may first have to bring the pleasure of sensuous living to him and not be concerned that initially he may not even realize what’s happening. But believe me, before long most of you will see little changes taking place that indicate his transformation.

As pointed out previously, living through your five senses is all about pleasure. Here are a few ideas to help you enroll your family into your sensual world.

1. Turn your environment into a sensual wonderland. If you can’t work on your entire home, start with your bedroom and make it an oasis for relaxation, pleasure and passion. Your makeover can be as simple or as elaborate as you can afford, but even with only a few changes, you can make it a space where your man and his senses are tantalized and seduced. Keep four out of your five senses in mind (taste in this instance has only to do with style, but make sure that his tastes are included!).

2. Savor mealtime. At least once a week, treat yourself and your mate to some sensual dining. Make your meals scrumptious by incorporating assorted textures and tastes, and serve them in a visually pleasing manner. Candles, flowers, and table linens go a long way in helping to make meals more a true dining experience. Take the time to taste and enjoy every bite as you savor your meal and the company of your loved ones. And when possible, include him in the cooking process. Don't just make him your sous chef for the sake of the extra kitchen help--taste and tantalize while cooking up the idea of 'dessert' while you're working--if you know what I mean!

3. Be in the moment and draw him into it with you. As you witness and savor the sensual world around you, share your discoveries and delights with your husband. Happiness and gratitude are contagious. Let him see the new enthusiasm for the beauty of life as you find it and before you know it, he’ll be noticing a few things on his own.

What do you think?