Unleash the Sensual You Workshop in CA

If you live in the Bay Area, I'd like to invite you to join me for an Unleash the Sensual You Workshop. This is your chance to discover ways to become the confident, sexy woman you were meant to be as I share with you ideas and techniques to embrace and enhance the woman you already are but just aren't sharing with the world. We'll talk about how to unearth the confidence everyone says you need but you can't seem to locate; and how to use that confidence to charm and disarm and get what you want out of life, both in and out of the bedroom. Please grab a friend or two and join us. It's free and I promise you will leave feeling fabulous!

When: Thursday, June 10, 2010
Time: 6:30 PM
Where: Good Vibrations 2504 San Pablo Avenue, Berkeley, CA
Admission: FREE

Following the workshop there will be a booksigning for my new anthology, Can't Help The Way That I Feel.

I will also be doing Dare to Be Tempted readings and signing while I'm in the Bay Area at:

When: Thursday, June 10, 2010
Time: 12 Noon
Where: Marcus Books
1712 Fillmore Street
San Francisco, CA

When: Friday, June 11, 2010
Time: 6:30 PM
Where: Marcus Books
3900 Martin Luther King Jr. Way
Oakland, CA

If you're in the area, bring a friend or two and join us. Tempting you with their sensual thoughts and words will be contributing authors Toi James and Teddy Bell. Come. Let us lead you into temptation!!!

Please feel free to pass this information along to anyone you think might enjoy the event.

I'd Rather Sleep Than Have Sex With My Husband

A depressing new study that depressingly found that 63 percent of married women would rather get extra sleep or catch up on their reading than have sex with their husbands may also have depressingly pinpointed why: Less than half of women surveyed say they married the best sex of their lives.

48 percent of married women say the guy they locked it down with isn't the guy who brought it the best in the sack. The data comes from a survey conducted for iVillage by Insight Express. Over 2,000 bored but satisfied women responded.

Maybe the old truism that the best sex is sex with somebody you love isn't true -- maybe the best sex is actually with that Venetian guy you met and had sex with on a roof garden while backpacking through Italy and never saw again.

More likely, it's because the majority (81 percent!!!) of women in the survey say their sex lives are predictable, based on location, position, time of day, duration, and foreplay ... Which is why it's not surprising that 62 percent of them said they fantasized about having sex with somebody else. Well, if somebody's going to be halfheartedly plugging away at you in the mish posish, it's no surprise when a young woman's fancy turns to thoughts of George Clooney.

Is this you?

Reprinted from AOL written by Emerald Catron

Why Do Men Like Breasts So Much?

I was out last night and as it often does, the female conversation turned to bodies, or more specifically, what's wrong with them. The list was long and painfully typical--too small, too big, too saggy, too round, too long. After a couple of rounds of discussion, the question was asked: Why do men like breasts so much? The heads of those in the circle of conversation who knew me and what I do, turned expectantly in my direction.

So despite the fact that have made it clear that I am not a professional, but only a woman with a studied (read practical, lifelong observation)point of view, I gave them the answer that first popped into my head. I share it now with you for your consideration.

My theory is that men like breasts for two main reasons: First, because right or wrong, breasts have become the visual badge of a woman's sexuality. The bigger the boobs, supposedly the greater her sexual prowess. (Thanks Pamela Anderson. No surprise here that you got voted off of Dancing With the Stars) Now we enlightened women know that this is a crock of horse poop, but it is what it is, and trying to change a man's mind on this subject is wasted energy. We also know that while the majority of men will raise both hands when offered a serving of double D's, when talking about the woman they love, large breasts fall way down on the list of things they love (or miss) about her.

The second, and most important reason that I believe that men love breasts are because no matter what their size or shape,they are interactive. Breasts, particularly nipples, respond physically to arousal and desire. Men love the way breasts become engorged and how nipples swell and stiffen in their hands and mouths. This gives our visually oriented partners immediate feedback,ego gratification and the incentive to continue to please.

So again, ladies, stop worrying about what you don't have and start enjoying what you do. Embrace the health and sensitivity of your breasts and let the other things like their size and shape fall way down on your list of things you dislike about yourself. Wrap them up pretty like the gift they are and enjoy the sexual energy the produce.

Change your Sexitude. Change your life.

What do you think?

Outrageous!!

You know, those who fancy themselves as the grand 'deciders' never cease to amaze me. Today, I'm talking about the brilliant cheese for brains executives at ABC and Fox. How they could ban the commercial above for being "inappropriate" "baring too much cleavage" and "salacious" is beyond me.

This is deemed inappropriate but they will air not only commercials but entire shows featuring the Sports Illustrated models and Victoria Secret Angels. They showcase these women who are in a weight and figure class all of their own, hammering in the misconceived and untrue notion that these size 0 mannequins flitting around in lingerie designed to GIVE THEM MORE CURVES and spray tanned skin and bones are the poster children of sexy.

Obviously they don't realize that the luscious, curvy woman in this Lane Bryant commercial is more representative of average women. They also don't realize that it's not either body type that makes these women sexy...it's their attitudes. Lane Bryant Lovely or Victoria Secret Angel, it's how they strut the stuff they've got--size 0 or size 16--that set them apart from the also rans.

Unfortunately it's the idiot gatekeepers like them that keep folks like me busy reminding women that sexy is not a weight class or a bra size. Sexy is as sexy does and the woman featured in this very sensuous commercial is holding up the truth that sexy comes in every size and it's the enormity of your confidence, not your breasts that makes you a contender. Ladies, don't buy into the bullsh*t. Being yourself can never be wrong. Remember: Confidence is Mother Nature's push-up bra!
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Sex Information for Teens and Young Adults

I ran across this website, Scarleteen.com that after perusing for a while, looks like a great resource for parents and teens alike when it comes to educating yourselves on teen sexuality. Remember, knowledge and open communication is key to helping your kids navigate this very delicate and often confusing time in their lives.

Can't Help The Way That I Feel Book Trailer

Giving Into Temptation

Ever since Eve seduced Adam into biting that apple, avoiding temptation has been drilled into our heads as the proper thing to do. But I ask you, can’t giving into temptation be a good thing sometimes (chocolate, jewelry and Idris Elba and George Clooney immediately come to mind)? Must we always avoid enticement? If so, why?

Consider this: A little temptation can be a very good thing because sometimes it acts as a catalyst for our personal growth. Sometimes in an impulsive moment, we find ourselves growing into the next version of ourselves—our more open, spontaneous, courageous, adventurous, curious, fabulous selves.

I've come to believe that many temptations we encounter are actually whispers of restless discontent attempting to lure us into questioning the status qua areas of our lives. Quite often one such area is sex. Sex is the one thing that we are the most curious and yet the least confident about. When it comes to sex our will to be good--to avoid temptation--often stands firmly in the way of our true needs and desires, without us ever really questioning why denial is the right and righteous thing to do.

Last year I was approached to edit an anthology of erotic stories. I agreed because I wanted to put my imprint on this huge genre and use erotica to help women really understand themselves through the sex they read in romance novels and anthologies, see in the movies and on television, and fantasize about through the lyrics of song.

In the stories included in Can't Help The Way That I Feel, you will meet several compelling characters who share some of your same feelings about their love and sex lives—boredom, confusion, dissatisfaction, prudence. And like yours, each of their journeys is different. But unlike most of us, they decide to take control of their hot sexy selves. Each woman finds herself giving into temptation, and in its aftermath, learning something about herself, and growing into the woman she wants to be. The writing, just like you, is elegant, sophisticated, sexy and hot but not raunchy!

These characters will tickle your fancy and ignite your lust as you live vicariously through their enticing sexcapades. And after they have you and your imagination revved up and ready to purr, let us tempt with three tasty, to-be-continued, story starters designed to get your creative (and other) juices flowing and help you make this anthology uniquely personal by finishing your own sexy tale on the blank pages provided. Delve in by yourself or grab the one you're with, and spend the night researching and then writing your personal erotic tale together.

Can't Help The Way That I Feel is in bookstores now, and you can also order your copy now from Amazon.com. You an also go to canthelpthewaythatifeel.blogspot.com and read about the authors and excerpts from their stories.

Please spread the word and let me know what you think of the collection.

What's Doing?

Many of you have asked just what's going and I thank you for your interest. Mainly I've been in the cave writing up a storm. I'm so very pleased with the new projects that will be popping up on bookshelves in the next couple of years. I think you will be too.

This week, my first editorial project hits the stores. It is an erotic anthology, entitled Can't Help The Way That I Feel and is full of great, well written stories that are short on rauchiness and long on sexy, erotic storytelling. What I really love is that while written to be enjoyed by all ages, the stories feature women of a certain age doing their thing and doing it well!! In the next post, I will tell you all about it but you can head over to the blog and check out the authors and read short excerpts from their stories.

I'm also finishing up a new novel that will be published next year by Strebor Books, an imprint of Simon and Schuester. More on that later.

Lastly, I am thrilled to tell you that it looks very much like Stiletto U: Lessons to Unleash the Sexy, Confident You will published soon. We are in negotiations to bring my nine week program to bookstores in 2011. I am so, so, so excited about this. The book is based the program I developed for my individual coaching and I'm just thrilled that it will be available to the masses. To go along with this, I'm working on a new Stiletto U website, which will probably at some point replace WMS, but that's to come a bit down the road.

So spring has sprung and I too have sprung into a new and exciting phase of my career. Now, as you take time to smell the roses this season, take time to imagine what exciting new phase of your life awaits you!

Spring 2010 has Sprung!

My all time favorite spring sighting is the first cherry blossom. I adore these gorgeous trees and with their return I know the seasonal rebirth has begun. Their return each year makes me happy.

As does my return to this blog. I have been so busy working hard on new projects that I couldn't seem to get around to blogging, even though in my heart I missed it. I'm going to try harder to keep in touch more consistently.

So to celebrate spring, I give you these thoughts by Helen Keller. Remarkable insight, considering the woman could not see or hear.

"Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would go blind. Do the same with all of your senses. Hear the song of a bird as if tomorrow you would go deaf. Touch everything as if tomorrow you would never be able to touch anything again. Smell the flowers, taste every bit of food as if tomorrow you will never to smell or taste again."

Live through your senses and bring joy to your day!

So Busy, Busy, Busy

I'm so sorry I haven't blogged all month. I am CRAAAZY busy these days, teaching, editing a new anthology and conducting workshops. I'll be back on task later this week. Until then, take time to enjoy every sensual drop of summer 2009 that remains. Let every one of your senses experience summer's end and catch the sensory hints of an approaching fall. Live sensually and make your life come alive!

It's All About the Fit

Lingerie, as delicate as it may sound to you, is really the workhorse of your wardrobe. A good bra will make your clothes fit better and make you look thinner in the process. Here are the steps to finding your correct size. Remember brands will differ in fit, so it's always best to go to a professional at least once a year to make sure you're still in your right size.

Step 1, Measure for Band Size:

Keeping the measuring tape parallel with the ground, measure around your bra directly under your bust after expelling all air from your lungs - you want this measurement to be as small as possible. Round all fractional measurements to the nearest whole number.

If the measurement is even, add 4"
if the measurement is odd, add 5"

Step 2, Measure for Cup Size:

Standing straight, with your arms at your side, measure at the fullest part of your bust (while wearing a non-padded bra) making sure the measuring tape is parallel with the ground and not binding.

Round all fractional measurements to the nearest whole number.

Step 3, Calculate Your Bra Size:

Subtract your band measurement (step 1) from your cup measurement (step 2). Generally, for each inch in difference, the cup goes up by one size. See the conversion chart here.

Example:
Step 1: 34" under measurement +4" = 38" band
Step 2: 40" over measurement
Step 3: 40" - 38" = 2" or Cup "B"
Your size would be 38B

Important Note: this measuring system tends to become less accurate as the cup sizes go above a D. Additionally, some manufacturers name larger cup sizes differently.

The Beauty of Online Bra Shopping

I don’t know about you, but when it comes to the basics, if it’s a choice between ordering online or heading out to the stores, I’ll boot up my computer first every time.

After years of online shopping, I've discovered that doing a little pre-work can save you lots of time and shipping charges on the backside. Especially when you're looking for apparel.

Bras and panties are something I love shopping online for. I do this because I can shop whenever I want and more often than not, I find great deals on my favorites in other colors and/or styles that the department stores don't carry. But before I order anything, I go to a reputable store and get properly fitted and try on different brands. On those fit/try trips, I also try on the beautiful bras that I covet knowing full well that I won’t be buying them there. I try them on so I know how they fit, and then I begin the hunt online to find them and their matching panties at a bargain.

For example, ever since my fit/try to Nordstrom a few months ago (I usually do these trips twice a year) I’ve been stalking two lovely brassieres, the Dentelle by Elle MacPhearson Intimates and the Chantilly Demi bra by Chantelle. GORGEOUS! At Nordstrom, the Dentelle was $65 and the Chantilly a whopping $105! I found both at Freshpair.com in colors the department store didn’t offer and cheaper! The Elle MacPherson bra was $5 less, and the Chantelle, in red no less, was $78 down from $105, plus they offered free shipping on each U.S. order.

Unfortunately, the red bra was not in stock in my size but I just received the Dentelle and it is so gorgeous! I had got it in the French Nude (kind of a peach lace over black). Very ooh la la! Nordstrom only carried in white, by the way. Better yet, the construction is fabulous and offers me not only sex appeal but serious support, and these days I’m all about sexy and supportive! I love the way it showcases the girls, but more than anything I love the way I feel in it.

I’m telling you ladies, wearing great lingerie is like walking around with a delicious secret—a secret you can choose to share—or not. It’s also another way to add a little yummy scandal to your life and nobody has to know! And when you don’t even have to leave the house to indulge yourself, how can you not change your draws on the regular!

So mix a martini, grab your computer and do a shopping for some little sweet nothings. You can check out great lingerie sites as well as some of my other favorite links for places to help unleash the sensual you!

Lingerie To Bring Sexy Back

Bringing Sexy Back: Lingerie that's Sure to Create Some Sparks by Freshpair.com

Too often we find the sparks of a romance burn down to embers as the weeks, months, and years go by. It’s no surprise when at the beginning we take so much time to groom our appearance to tantalize and entice, but as time goes on the effort put in equals the tension that is created…and that tension fades. But throw some of these hot numbers in the mix and you’ll be sure to rekindle your romantic and sensual spirit in no time. It’s all about adding that spark that lights the flame of passion again!

For the bustier girl, what better to put the RRRrrr back in Romance than a sexy and sultry leopard number with the superior fit and technology of Wacoal.



Don’t worry I’m not forgetting those with smaller packages, for the petite girl it’s all about presentation, and proper wrapping I’ve always found impresses, and with removable cookies you could always add in a little extra push to get his attention, try these inserts which can bump you up to a fuller cleavage!

Set it up right, with matching bra and panties you make the full impression. It’s like I mentioned before about packages looking better wrapped, so of course if you leave a corner open you let the mood slip right out! Don’t worry we have some sexy sets that I’m sure will set both of you in the mood for love, lust, and more.



This set from Wacoal Luxe is steaming hot! The double straps and the little peek-a-boo slits on the boyshort will make him think of Jane of the Jungle or some Amazonian goddess with her lingerie barely clinging to her… and he’ll be sure to cling tightly to you!


Chantelle bras fit a real woman, and there is something super sexy about a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and with her feminine curves. This sexy set will honor those curves and make him honor you, as long as you like.


Some pieces just make you stop and stare, and if you pair this with some red lipstick, this gunmetal grey number will stop him in his tracks. Nothing like an alluring set of lingerie to take a man hostage!


I think there is absolutely something to be said for the more subtly sweet of sets, like this pairing from Elle Macpherson. It makes me think Girl Next Door but all grown up. Like a fantasy come true for most guys, and really this set is easy to wear without it wearing you, with just the right amount of everything left to the imagination.

Another more subtle approach by Elle Macpherson, and this one has a lot of what we’ve been talking about, bows that catch the eye and a lovely contrast that draws the eye upward on the bra.

It frames your curves and silhouette in a subtle way reminding him of what a pleasure it is to admire you from afar, and that will make him want to admire you up close at the end of the day.

July Poll Results

Here are your results for July's poll. In response to the query: If I could free my mind:

37% said you'd let your bad girl come out to play

9% said you'd summon the courage to leave your current relationship

20% said you'd leave your job and work your passion

32% said you'd stop worrying about changing yourself and let you be you.

Interesting that the majority of you, 69%, said that if you could free your mind of all of the rules, expectations, and opinions of others, you would basically live life by your own truth. Imagine if you had the strength to do that how much happier your life would be.

Mind over matter, people. Mind over matter. Or as the saying goes,
"If you don't mind, it shouldn't matter."

Take heed, summon your courage, and Do YOU!!

National Underwear Day 2009 at Freshpair.com

National Underwear Day 2009 at Freshpair.com

Hey Ladies, I've decided to partner with Freshpair.com this month to celebrate the sensual deliciousness of wearing beautiful underthings. So all this month we'll be talking lingerie. To get you started, check out the link above for some amazing specials on some sweet nothings for both you and him.



Posted using ShareThis

June Poll Results

Finally, here are the poll results for June.

We asked the question: When it comes to sex, which is more important? Here are your answers:

45% of you said Foreplay

0% of you said Afterplay

39% of you said Both

15% of you said What Happens in the Middle

All in all, not too bad. It's understandable that the majority of you polled stated that foreplay was more important to you. That makes total sense because prolonged foreplay allows both men and women to get physically ready for intercourse, particularly as we age. Psychologically speaking,foreplay builds intimacy and allows both partners to feel loved and cherished, and to enjoy intercourse even more. Bottomline: foreplay is about readying the mind and body for sex.

As important as foreplay is in getting us ready to have sex , afterplay is just as important in getting us ready for the next time. For most women, afterplay is the emotional closure that makes each sexual experience complete. It's the physical expression of intimacy and feelings of closeness that turns sex into lovemaking. Our need to cuddle and spoon, to caress and engage in sweet pillow talk sex is all about feeding our emotional connections with our lover. And it's that connection that makes us look forward to the next sexual experience. Afterplay is a vital part a loving sexual relationship. It should not be ignored.

So 39% percent of you have it right. Both foreplay and afterplay are what makes what happens in between feel so right and delicious, and loving.

Sunglasses

This article is reprinted from Psychologies Magazine. Kind of gives you a whole new appreciation for sunglasses.

In mythology, eyes are the windows of the soul. So the decision to replace transparent windows with impenetrable dark glass - turning them into mirrors - is a psychologically interesting one. Windows answer questions, but mirrors ask them.

Wearing sunglasses often has little to do with protection from the sun's rays and everything to do with making a statement. This makes shades one of the most potent semantic tools in anyone's wardrobe. Nothing else transforms our mood and appearance so quickly and dramatically. Sunglasses offer us a sort of furtive escape from observation. We feel protected, more private. Yet at the same time we achieve greater stand-out.

Wearing sunglasses makes us both unsettling and sexier. Unsettling because our mood cannot be read. The eyes give away more secrets than the lips. Sexier because sunglasses say, 'look at me'. Factor in the variety of styles with meanings of their own - from chic Chanel to aviator-butch Randolph Engineering - and, in terms of meaning, sunglasses put every other accessory in the shade.

Sexitude is Now Closed

Thank you to all of you who have asked about new Stiletto U workshop, Sexitude. Enrollment is now closed. The interest in this sensuality workshop has been phenomenal, in fact it has been so great that not only did we have to move to a larger studio, but how have a waiting list. So please join us in September for the next session. In the meantime, remember--change your sexitude, change your life!

Speaking of Sexitude...

Sorry, I haven't blogged. I've been really busy with several upcoming projects--editing a new erotica anthology, entitled Can't Help the Way That I Feel, planning two private Stiletto U birthday parties this summer for private clients, and the upcoming Sexitude Workshop that begins this week.

So with all this going on, I'm trying to fit in a weekend at the beach with my Mothers Off Duty group. As much as I am looking forward to seeing my girls, going to the beach means wearing a bathing suit. Hmmm. I've been avoiding buying a new bathing suit for a few years now (some of you may recall the cherry red bikini story). So I went today to find a new suit. I swear trying on bathing suits is the most depressing thing, I don't care how great you feel about yourself. You know what I mean, so we we'll just agree that trying on bathing suits is that horrible recurring nightmare come true--you know, the one where you're running around naked in public, mortified and feeling totally vulnerable.

The problem is that when it comes to clothes, I've nearly mastered the art of camouflage. Folks think I'm taller, thinner, and toner than I really am--that's the miracle of knowing what styles flatter you, monotone dressing, and high heels. This allows me to dress age appropriate for let's say, a forty year-old. But a bathing suit? Well, there's just no place to hide. Fifty one is fifty one, in all it's gravity-depraved glory!

Any who, let me get to the point. I passed the string bikinis, maneuvered myself around the unstructured, peek-a-boo one pieces that might as well have been a been bikinis, and slid past the tankinis. I still don't understand those. The ones where the tops are fitted ride up just enough so your muffin top can enjoy the sun, and those that are fuller look like maternity bathing suits. Being 51 and looking preggers is not sexy. Hell, it's not even cute.

I continued my search for the hardware section of the swim shop. You know, where they store all the "look like you lost 10 pounds" and tummy control bathing suits. The ones that have pulley's at the shoulders to hoist up the girls and a steel mesh girdle to keep the baby weight you're trying to lose from your last pregnancy (so what if Eva is 16--you can't drop it overnight, you know!)from spilling out. Well, I checked out that rack and immediately got depressed. They looked like the suits my mom wears. She's 82. Enuf said.

So what rack do I find myself sifting through? THE FRICKIN' SWIM DRESSES!!! At first I am shocked into momentary paralysis. Am I really considering these? Is this what I'd been reduced to? A swim muumuu? But then I see a little Michael Kors number that is downright sexy. My mind is thinking, you look better in dresses than pants--and this is like a little miniskirt. Add a pair of cute little heels--scratch that--you're going to the beach--okay, add a pair of cute little flip flops and this might could work. Of course they don't have the little sexy number in my size, so, being a true believer in potential, I grab several and head to the dressing rooms.

The first two I tried on scared the hell out of me because when I looked in the mirror, that's right, I saw my mother. Trying not to get depress, I soldier on, eliminating the most matronly ones and holding on to the two "hey, this is kinda cute" suits. I alternated trying them on, not completely grossed out but not completely loving either one, and totally lamenting that the sexy little swim dress was not available (I swear if I see some size two chick in that suit next weekend...). But I also was feeling like if I could find the right one, I could own this look. This little swim dress idea had potential. Flirty, sexy, camouflaged potential!! Yeah baby!

So long story short. I did not buy a bathing suit today, but I am on the hunt. I did, however, purchase two adorable cover ups! Funny, how those always fit!

Happy Independence Day!

We're all fighting to be independent, free-to-act-follow-my-own-truth women in at least one area of our lives. Well, in the wise words of '80's diva superstars, En Vogue, "Free your mind, and the rest will follow." Take a listen...and learn.



Happy Fourth of July. Declare your independence with a bang!