I saw this in O Magazine and thought it was definitely worth passing on.
“We settle for so-so sex because most of us don’t know how sexual we could be; we only know how sexual we are. How sexual we are has been shaped by decades of indoctrination by…family and friends, teachers, religious leaders and romantic partners, not to mention a society that worships a bewildering fusion of childlike sexual innocence and cynical, nilhilistic hedonism…So what is normal? It all depends on what is normal for you.”
Anita Clayton, MD with Robin Cantor-Cooke, in Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy (Ballentine)
Find your 'normal' and rock on!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
#4 A Genuine Smile is Power
Okay, 'fess up while no body's looking. How often do you display EBS (evil bitch syndrome), probably without even meaning too? How many times has some man said hello or called out a compliment (not in a rude or obnoxious way but sincerely and appreciatively) and you've rolled your eyes, sucked your teeth, given him your "no you didn't" look, and kept on walking like he'd just said you had ashy ankles?
Come on. You know you've done it. I mean, why give him the time of day because after all, he is not the package you're looking for, especially because he's carrying the package you've been waiting for. He's not Mr. Right or even Mr. Right now. He's just a guy with his name on his shirt, who has the nerve to pay you a compliment. Bastard! What can Brown do for me? Not a damn thing!
I see women treat well meaning strangers this way time after time and then wonder why a good and attentive man is so damn hard to find, and don't understand why men think women can be so stuck up and full of 'tude. And again, most of us don't even realizing we're showing signs of EBS.
Okay, he may not be the one, but a true Weapon of Mass Seduction realizes that flattering comments from a man who just wants to let you know he recognizes quality when he sees it, is just another opportunity to practice letting loose her devastatingly genuine power smile and bask in some unexpected admiration.
Here's what flirt coach, Joey Clements has to say on the subject.
“We really don’t pay much attention to how much we don’t smile. And what’s most amazing about that is smiling is our most effective calling card; a free and easy spirit lifter; and a sure fire antidote to negative energy. A genuine smile is power. With it you can change another person’s entire mood and perspective."
You need to develop and practice your devastating grin so when the Mr. Damn! Schazaam! enters your orbit, EBS doesn't kick in by default. Smiles are like yawns--they're contagious. And a WMS wants to infect as many folks as possible. A smile makes you look friendly, confident and approachable and the other person feels more at ease. And if he’s feeling comfortable, he's bound to be more receptive and interested in you.
And remember the oh so important law of attraction: like energy attracts like energy. So if you insist on walking around breaking out in Evil Bitch Syndrome just because you can, expect to attract men with Nasty Attitude Complex, growling right back at you. You know what they say about birds of a feather...
Try this exercise: For the rest of this week pay constant attention to your facial
expression and practice smiling. If you’re waiting in the cashier line, smile. When you
pass strangers on the street, smile. Smile when you notice a beautiful flower or the clear
blue sky. Make it a habit and soon you will find yourself not only happier and more
persuasive but on the receiving end with greater frequency.
What do you think?
Next Entry: Being your Sensual Self.
Come on. You know you've done it. I mean, why give him the time of day because after all, he is not the package you're looking for, especially because he's carrying the package you've been waiting for. He's not Mr. Right or even Mr. Right now. He's just a guy with his name on his shirt, who has the nerve to pay you a compliment. Bastard! What can Brown do for me? Not a damn thing!
I see women treat well meaning strangers this way time after time and then wonder why a good and attentive man is so damn hard to find, and don't understand why men think women can be so stuck up and full of 'tude. And again, most of us don't even realizing we're showing signs of EBS.
Okay, he may not be the one, but a true Weapon of Mass Seduction realizes that flattering comments from a man who just wants to let you know he recognizes quality when he sees it, is just another opportunity to practice letting loose her devastatingly genuine power smile and bask in some unexpected admiration.
Here's what flirt coach, Joey Clements has to say on the subject.
“We really don’t pay much attention to how much we don’t smile. And what’s most amazing about that is smiling is our most effective calling card; a free and easy spirit lifter; and a sure fire antidote to negative energy. A genuine smile is power. With it you can change another person’s entire mood and perspective."
You need to develop and practice your devastating grin so when the Mr. Damn! Schazaam! enters your orbit, EBS doesn't kick in by default. Smiles are like yawns--they're contagious. And a WMS wants to infect as many folks as possible. A smile makes you look friendly, confident and approachable and the other person feels more at ease. And if he’s feeling comfortable, he's bound to be more receptive and interested in you.
And remember the oh so important law of attraction: like energy attracts like energy. So if you insist on walking around breaking out in Evil Bitch Syndrome just because you can, expect to attract men with Nasty Attitude Complex, growling right back at you. You know what they say about birds of a feather...
Try this exercise: For the rest of this week pay constant attention to your facial
expression and practice smiling. If you’re waiting in the cashier line, smile. When you
pass strangers on the street, smile. Smile when you notice a beautiful flower or the clear
blue sky. Make it a habit and soon you will find yourself not only happier and more
persuasive but on the receiving end with greater frequency.
What do you think?
Next Entry: Being your Sensual Self.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Valentines Day...A Rebuttle
I had to post this rebuttle from my dear friend and fellow Femme, author Carmen Green. I personally have a stomach ache and my nose hurts from laughing up coffee through my nose (you'll see why). I love the girl, but she's whacked out. Do you hear me? Whacked. She does make touring all the more interesting. I've also posted some of the comments about my post that appeared on Nina Foxx's (another Femme) blog. Enjoy and check out CarmenSays and the Vixen Chronicles and then if you still feel like reading mosey over to the Femme Fantastik Blog
WARNING: DO NOT CONSUME LIQUIDS WHILE READING THIS BLOG ENTRY.
Happy V-Day--Yeah Right
Good Valetine's Day to all my attached sista and brotha's friends. I'm really happy for you. I'm still single, but happy. Mhmm. Living my life like's it's Golden as Jill Scott said to do, Recognizing A Woman's Worth, per Alicia Keys, and yes, I heard Fantasia when she said, I Ain't Gon' Beg You, and realized I wasn't the woman in Good Mourning, by my girl India.Arie.
I don't have a man but I still felt the need for Valentine's Day presents. Since I watched the Montel Williams show earlier this month and LL Cool J was a guest, he said if you stay off your vice for 21 days you'll kick it, so I decided to kick candy. Okay, I've heard this before, but when LL tells you something and then licks his lips, well. . .I mean goodness, it's memorable.
So here's my confession: My name is Carmen and I'm a sugaraholic--cheap candy like Smarties and Swedish Fish are my weakness. It's been 11 days since my last fix. Yes, there are tears in my eyes. Withdrawl is a bitch!So anyway back to why I'm so bitter--ly happy for all of you coupled people. I believe in celebrating holidays sans a man, so I went out and bought myself a teddy bear, some cake mix and a flower. No, I wasn't using them all at the same time, but whatever to you pervs out there.
I came home, had a cupcake, threw the rest away, put on India.Arie and danced with my six inch bear with my flower in my hair. Then I decided to read my email. Who knows. Maybe someone saw me dancing and wanted me for a video. Even I'm laughing at that.
I have to say this first. I love my friends. I think they hate me. My sista-friend, in the trenches, need some hardcore advice givin', I will dial 911 really fast if a man in a bad wig is following you through Nordstrom's about to rob you, travelin' the world with you, dear Femme Fantastik friend Lori Bryant-Woolridge sends me some hater mail. Yes, dammit, I said it right, hater mail. I was shocked. My slim-fast bar fell from my mouth. What had I done to illicit mail that began,Weapons of Mass Seduction, Unleashing the Sensual You. It's kind of like the record Chante's Got a Man at Home.
What the Hell?? Don't brag **tch. The rest of us got bears, but we ain't singin about it!I looked at the bear and said, "You squeal that my orange polka pajama top and checkered blue bottoms don't match?" The bear fell over. Bastard.
Lori's note to me is below and once you read it, you will understand my replies. WMS Rules for Creating A Red Hot Night by Lori Bryant Woolridge'
Tis the season for creating Red Hot Nights for romance and I thought I'd pass on some red hot rules for sensual entertaining. Every Weapon of Mass Seduction knows that:
1) To Thine Own Self Be True. At the core of a truly sensual woman is confidence in her authentic self. The evening you create should be driven first by your own comfort and enjoyment.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: To Thine Own Self Be True--plan for major orgasms alone. Clean all vibrators.
Lori- 2) Senses Rule. Every aspect of your special evening should be planned according to your senses. Every sight, sound, smell, taste and touch should be pleasurable.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Senses Rule-snap a pair of worn panties on your head. Intoxicating!
Lori-3) Anticipation is Everything. Stay one step ahead. Maintain the mystery and you'll surely maintain your lover's interest (and gratitude)!
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Anticipation is Everything-The batteries don't hold enough charge for all night loving. Buy more! And stay one step ahead--lock the damn door. The kids don't need to see you smackin' your own ass.
Lori-4) Drown Yourself in Pleasure. Not libations or food. You will negate all of your hard work and pleasure if you allow yourself or your lover to drink or eat too much.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Drown Yourself in Pleasure-Don't shower and prove you got a lover to the haters at work. Just wear more perfume, baby.
Lori-5) Be Flexible. Anticipation will bring your evening alive. Expectations will kill it. Remember one of the joys of living a sensual life is living in the moment and reveling in life as it comes. Plan your evening and then see where it takes you.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Be Flexible-You got skills, use 'em. The knee over the belly fat orgasm, priceless!
Lori Says-A Red Hot Night is an amazing way to celebrate Valentines or a birthday or anniversary, but what makes a night like this really hot, is when it comes out of the blue for no reason other than to make your lover feel special.
Carmen's Rebuttal-Yeah, what the hell ever. Happy dag-on Valentine's Day.
WARNING: DO NOT CONSUME LIQUIDS WHILE READING THIS BLOG ENTRY.
Happy V-Day--Yeah Right
Good Valetine's Day to all my attached sista and brotha's friends. I'm really happy for you. I'm still single, but happy. Mhmm. Living my life like's it's Golden as Jill Scott said to do, Recognizing A Woman's Worth, per Alicia Keys, and yes, I heard Fantasia when she said, I Ain't Gon' Beg You, and realized I wasn't the woman in Good Mourning, by my girl India.Arie.
I don't have a man but I still felt the need for Valentine's Day presents. Since I watched the Montel Williams show earlier this month and LL Cool J was a guest, he said if you stay off your vice for 21 days you'll kick it, so I decided to kick candy. Okay, I've heard this before, but when LL tells you something and then licks his lips, well. . .I mean goodness, it's memorable.
So here's my confession: My name is Carmen and I'm a sugaraholic--cheap candy like Smarties and Swedish Fish are my weakness. It's been 11 days since my last fix. Yes, there are tears in my eyes. Withdrawl is a bitch!So anyway back to why I'm so bitter--ly happy for all of you coupled people. I believe in celebrating holidays sans a man, so I went out and bought myself a teddy bear, some cake mix and a flower. No, I wasn't using them all at the same time, but whatever to you pervs out there.
I came home, had a cupcake, threw the rest away, put on India.Arie and danced with my six inch bear with my flower in my hair. Then I decided to read my email. Who knows. Maybe someone saw me dancing and wanted me for a video. Even I'm laughing at that.
I have to say this first. I love my friends. I think they hate me. My sista-friend, in the trenches, need some hardcore advice givin', I will dial 911 really fast if a man in a bad wig is following you through Nordstrom's about to rob you, travelin' the world with you, dear Femme Fantastik friend Lori Bryant-Woolridge sends me some hater mail. Yes, dammit, I said it right, hater mail. I was shocked. My slim-fast bar fell from my mouth. What had I done to illicit mail that began,Weapons of Mass Seduction, Unleashing the Sensual You. It's kind of like the record Chante's Got a Man at Home.
What the Hell?? Don't brag **tch. The rest of us got bears, but we ain't singin about it!I looked at the bear and said, "You squeal that my orange polka pajama top and checkered blue bottoms don't match?" The bear fell over. Bastard.
Lori's note to me is below and once you read it, you will understand my replies. WMS Rules for Creating A Red Hot Night by Lori Bryant Woolridge'
Tis the season for creating Red Hot Nights for romance and I thought I'd pass on some red hot rules for sensual entertaining. Every Weapon of Mass Seduction knows that:
1) To Thine Own Self Be True. At the core of a truly sensual woman is confidence in her authentic self. The evening you create should be driven first by your own comfort and enjoyment.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: To Thine Own Self Be True--plan for major orgasms alone. Clean all vibrators.
Lori- 2) Senses Rule. Every aspect of your special evening should be planned according to your senses. Every sight, sound, smell, taste and touch should be pleasurable.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Senses Rule-snap a pair of worn panties on your head. Intoxicating!
Lori-3) Anticipation is Everything. Stay one step ahead. Maintain the mystery and you'll surely maintain your lover's interest (and gratitude)!
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Anticipation is Everything-The batteries don't hold enough charge for all night loving. Buy more! And stay one step ahead--lock the damn door. The kids don't need to see you smackin' your own ass.
Lori-4) Drown Yourself in Pleasure. Not libations or food. You will negate all of your hard work and pleasure if you allow yourself or your lover to drink or eat too much.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Drown Yourself in Pleasure-Don't shower and prove you got a lover to the haters at work. Just wear more perfume, baby.
Lori-5) Be Flexible. Anticipation will bring your evening alive. Expectations will kill it. Remember one of the joys of living a sensual life is living in the moment and reveling in life as it comes. Plan your evening and then see where it takes you.
Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Be Flexible-You got skills, use 'em. The knee over the belly fat orgasm, priceless!
Lori Says-A Red Hot Night is an amazing way to celebrate Valentines or a birthday or anniversary, but what makes a night like this really hot, is when it comes out of the blue for no reason other than to make your lover feel special.
Carmen's Rebuttal-Yeah, what the hell ever. Happy dag-on Valentine's Day.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentines Day Rules for A Red Hot Night
Tis the season for creating Red Hot Nights for romance and I thought I'd pass on some red hot rules for sensual entertaining. 1) To Thine Own Self Be True. At the core of a truly sensual woman is confidence in her authentic self. The evening you create should be driven first by your own comfort and enjoyment.
2) Senses Rule. Every aspect of your special evening should be planned according to your senses. Every sight, sound, smell, taste and touch should be pleasurable.
3) Anticipation is Everything. Stay one step ahead. Maintain the mystery and you'll surely maintain your lover's interest (and gratitude)!
4) Drown Yourself in Pleasure. Not libations or food. You will negate all of your hard work and pleasure if you allow yourself or your lover to drink or eat too much.
5) Be Flexible. Anticipation will bring your evening alive. Expectations will kill it. Remember one of the joys of living a sensual life is living in the moment and reveling in life as it comes. Plan your evening and then see where it takes you.
A Red Hot Night is an amazing way to celebrate Valentines or a birthday or anniversary, but what makes a night like this really hot, is when it comes out of the blue for no reason other than to make your lover feel special.
WMS advertisement: Learn how to 'host' a red hot night from invite to decadent dining ideas in Weapons Of Mass Seduction, A Novel to Unleash the Sensual You. It really is a how-to flirt manual in a novel.
Imagine...Happy Valentines Day
This poem was written by a good friend of mine. I thought it was a perfect love poem to share with you and hand copied on a beautiful, scented card, a beautiful poem to share with your loved one. Have a great Valentines Day and remember, love yourself.
Imagine
see me
but not with your eyes
touch me
but not with your hands
hear me
but not with sound
imagine the possibilities
if you let your soul be unbound
finding me
when I’m neither lost or found
can you imagine the possibilities
like me?
I imagine you to be
so into me
that you’re apart of me
allowing me
to be me
and my soul runs free
and impossibility becomes sweet reality
as I can feel you without being felt
smell your fragrance without any scent
taste you without you ever present
and when you are next to me
you’re even that much more delicious
when you speak
the words I love you
are written within my palms
and when your heart beats
it sweetly speaks a rhythm
that sings love psalms
when I imagine the possibilities
your left eye is my sun
while your right eye is my moon
and when you look at me
I’m living within love’s eclipse
surrounded by soft touches, wet kisses
and eternal bliss
Ted Bell
Imagine
see me
but not with your eyes
touch me
but not with your hands
hear me
but not with sound
imagine the possibilities
if you let your soul be unbound
finding me
when I’m neither lost or found
can you imagine the possibilities
like me?
I imagine you to be
so into me
that you’re apart of me
allowing me
to be me
and my soul runs free
and impossibility becomes sweet reality
as I can feel you without being felt
smell your fragrance without any scent
taste you without you ever present
and when you are next to me
you’re even that much more delicious
when you speak
the words I love you
are written within my palms
and when your heart beats
it sweetly speaks a rhythm
that sings love psalms
when I imagine the possibilities
your left eye is my sun
while your right eye is my moon
and when you look at me
I’m living within love’s eclipse
surrounded by soft touches, wet kisses
and eternal bliss
Ted Bell
Monday, February 12, 2007
#3 Your Signature Style
Sometimes, it’s the small and very personal things—shoes, jewelry or fragrance—that make you feel sensually unique and become lingering clues to your inimitable personality.
Every sensual weapon of mass seduction should have their own personal style. Know yours and dress and accessorize to express it. This includes everything from a signature piece of jewelry to your signature cocktail.
Here are a few steps to get you started.
1) Know your body as it is, not as you wish it were. Not like you imagine to be, and not how you intend it to be in the future (I still have an entire section of my closet full of stuff I’m going to get into). Understand your best attributes (those great eyes or sexy shoulders or slamming legs) because those are the things you’re going to dress to highlight. Just as important, know your ‘perceived” body flaws. Every woman’s got them, whether it’s cellulite, flabby arms, a minuscule bust or saddle bag thighs. I say perceived because if your body met the current beauty standards, you’d look like a twelve year-old boy naked and what’s so damn perfect about that. We’re women. We’re supposed to be curvy and swervy and soft.
3) Next take a quiet Friday night or Saturday afternoon and sit down with a stack of fashion magazine and catalogues. I’d avoid Vogue and all the high-fashion tomes because who really wants to strut around the streets wearing thick black lines under their eyes and a birdcage on their head. (Ladies, there’s a difference between personal style and crazy lady style) No, the more you can look at real women in real clothes the better. Tear out all the outfits that catch your eye. What you’ll find is that there is a certain look that you are drawn to. Now define that look for yourself in your own words. Is your preferred look elegant and tailored? Maybe funky but elegant. Feminine and sweet? Are you drawn to bold color or muted tones? Do you like classic looks or trendy pieces.
Discover the look you like and then head out to the stores and begin pulling similar looks in styles that flatter and highlight your positives and camouflage your negatives.
4) Find accessories that are unique and say YOU. I love high heels, shawls and wraps (it's the drama they create) and interesting evening bags (my favorite--a $5 coconut shell). And don't be afraid to wear them in ways other than intended. I have no problem wearing a necklace as a belt or visa versa. I love to create charm bracelets because they are unique to me and always catch people’s attention. They’ve become my signature piece of jewelry and whether it’s just one charm or a jingling bracelet of several I nearly always have one on. And damn it, I feel charming wearing them.
And don’t be afraid to extend this to your social style. Why be just another women sitting at a bar sipping a pink cocktail. Scour the bartender books and find a drink that becomes your distinctive version of ‘the usual.’
5) Every WMS should own at least one pair of CFM shoes. Nothing can make you look sexier than a great pair of heels or less sexy than a matronly pair of Aerosoles. Even if you can’t walk in stilettos, find a great, sexy pair of kitten heels in which to strut your stuff.
Your clothes, shoes and accessories all should all work together to tell the world that you are a woman to be noticed and admired, and most importantly should make you feel great about being you every time you step out because that's when a true WMS shines.
What do you think?
Next entry: Your WMS Smile
Every sensual weapon of mass seduction should have their own personal style. Know yours and dress and accessorize to express it. This includes everything from a signature piece of jewelry to your signature cocktail.
Here are a few steps to get you started.
1) Know your body as it is, not as you wish it were. Not like you imagine to be, and not how you intend it to be in the future (I still have an entire section of my closet full of stuff I’m going to get into). Understand your best attributes (those great eyes or sexy shoulders or slamming legs) because those are the things you’re going to dress to highlight. Just as important, know your ‘perceived” body flaws. Every woman’s got them, whether it’s cellulite, flabby arms, a minuscule bust or saddle bag thighs. I say perceived because if your body met the current beauty standards, you’d look like a twelve year-old boy naked and what’s so damn perfect about that. We’re women. We’re supposed to be curvy and swervy and soft.
3) Next take a quiet Friday night or Saturday afternoon and sit down with a stack of fashion magazine and catalogues. I’d avoid Vogue and all the high-fashion tomes because who really wants to strut around the streets wearing thick black lines under their eyes and a birdcage on their head. (Ladies, there’s a difference between personal style and crazy lady style) No, the more you can look at real women in real clothes the better. Tear out all the outfits that catch your eye. What you’ll find is that there is a certain look that you are drawn to. Now define that look for yourself in your own words. Is your preferred look elegant and tailored? Maybe funky but elegant. Feminine and sweet? Are you drawn to bold color or muted tones? Do you like classic looks or trendy pieces.
Discover the look you like and then head out to the stores and begin pulling similar looks in styles that flatter and highlight your positives and camouflage your negatives.
4) Find accessories that are unique and say YOU. I love high heels, shawls and wraps (it's the drama they create) and interesting evening bags (my favorite--a $5 coconut shell). And don't be afraid to wear them in ways other than intended. I have no problem wearing a necklace as a belt or visa versa. I love to create charm bracelets because they are unique to me and always catch people’s attention. They’ve become my signature piece of jewelry and whether it’s just one charm or a jingling bracelet of several I nearly always have one on. And damn it, I feel charming wearing them.
And don’t be afraid to extend this to your social style. Why be just another women sitting at a bar sipping a pink cocktail. Scour the bartender books and find a drink that becomes your distinctive version of ‘the usual.’
5) Every WMS should own at least one pair of CFM shoes. Nothing can make you look sexier than a great pair of heels or less sexy than a matronly pair of Aerosoles. Even if you can’t walk in stilettos, find a great, sexy pair of kitten heels in which to strut your stuff.
Your clothes, shoes and accessories all should all work together to tell the world that you are a woman to be noticed and admired, and most importantly should make you feel great about being you every time you step out because that's when a true WMS shines.
What do you think?
Next entry: Your WMS Smile
Saturday, February 3, 2007
We Interrupt Our Scheduled Programming...
FOR SOME AMAZING NEWS!
Please excuse me while I do my happy dance! "GO Lori, GO Lori!" Okay. I've just learned that the release date for Weapons of Mass Seduction has been moved up to April 17th. Why? I can't tell you the reason yet, but it's great, amazing, huge news. I'll let you know as soon as I am able, but this early release means you'll be able to greet the summer as a the sensual flirty new you. Summer vacation will never be the same! Stay tuned...
Please excuse me while I do my happy dance! "GO Lori, GO Lori!" Okay. I've just learned that the release date for Weapons of Mass Seduction has been moved up to April 17th. Why? I can't tell you the reason yet, but it's great, amazing, huge news. I'll let you know as soon as I am able, but this early release means you'll be able to greet the summer as a the sensual flirty new you. Summer vacation will never be the same! Stay tuned...
So I promise this week, I'll finish up that list of five things every WMS have, but right now I gotta dance!
Friday, January 26, 2007
# 2 WMS Must Have: A Signature Symbol
Along with her unforgettable scentuality, every WMS should have her own signature symbol or trademark icon. Companies brand their image with logos so consumers can pick them out in a crowd, so why shouldn’t you? Anything that makes you stand out is a good thing.
What exactly is a signature symbol?
It is something you can see and touch that connects you with your sensual, unique self, reminds you of the woman you are striving to be, and gives the rest of the world a hint of who you are. Lots of power packed into such a little thing.
Where do I find my signature symbol?
What I suggest to women is to try to identify a particular shape, word, or for lack of a more descriptive word, thing that you have always been drawn to. Maybe it's an orchid or circle or the moon or ocean or a cloud or an open eye. For me it was the sun, mainly with faces.
For years, without really realizing it, I’ve been drawn to and collecting images of the sun on everything from vases to beach towels. When I designed my first business card again, I unconsciously picked out a sun image as the 'logo'. One day I was flipping through a book on dream symbols and came across the sun. After the reading the definition I was amazed by how much I felt it defined me and my outlook on life. Right there I adopted it as my official icon. I now wear it on charm bracelets and around my neck. It adorns my stationary and my office walls. It’s on my website and if you get a greeting card from me, most likely it will have a sun on it or sun confetti falling out of it.
It never fails that someone notices and comments on my signature symbol and it really does make me feel unique and warm and is a constant reminder of the kind of woman I want to be: A woman who takes responsibility for making her own sunshine, and who is open and generous enough to allow others to bask in it as well. This knowledge of myself informs what I do and how I do it.
So think about the shape or symbol you’ve always been drawn to. You don’t have to worry what someone else tells you it means, just recognize what positive emotions it brings out in you and let those feelings influence the way you see yourself and the way you behave. Define yourself for the rest of the world and then let them get to know and love the sensual woman within.
What do you think?
Next Entry: Your signature style (Unless of course something else pops up!)
What exactly is a signature symbol?
It is something you can see and touch that connects you with your sensual, unique self, reminds you of the woman you are striving to be, and gives the rest of the world a hint of who you are. Lots of power packed into such a little thing.
Where do I find my signature symbol?
What I suggest to women is to try to identify a particular shape, word, or for lack of a more descriptive word, thing that you have always been drawn to. Maybe it's an orchid or circle or the moon or ocean or a cloud or an open eye. For me it was the sun, mainly with faces.
For years, without really realizing it, I’ve been drawn to and collecting images of the sun on everything from vases to beach towels. When I designed my first business card again, I unconsciously picked out a sun image as the 'logo'. One day I was flipping through a book on dream symbols and came across the sun. After the reading the definition I was amazed by how much I felt it defined me and my outlook on life. Right there I adopted it as my official icon. I now wear it on charm bracelets and around my neck. It adorns my stationary and my office walls. It’s on my website and if you get a greeting card from me, most likely it will have a sun on it or sun confetti falling out of it.
It never fails that someone notices and comments on my signature symbol and it really does make me feel unique and warm and is a constant reminder of the kind of woman I want to be: A woman who takes responsibility for making her own sunshine, and who is open and generous enough to allow others to bask in it as well. This knowledge of myself informs what I do and how I do it.
So think about the shape or symbol you’ve always been drawn to. You don’t have to worry what someone else tells you it means, just recognize what positive emotions it brings out in you and let those feelings influence the way you see yourself and the way you behave. Define yourself for the rest of the world and then let them get to know and love the sensual woman within.
What do you think?
Next Entry: Your signature style (Unless of course something else pops up!)
Friday, January 19, 2007
PMS Jewelry
I'm crazy busy at the moment and haven't been able to get away to write about finding your Signature Symbol, but I promise I will. In the meantime, enjoy this hilarious joke.
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring theother day, so he would be able to monitor my moods.We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin' red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring theother day, so he would be able to monitor my moods.We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin' red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Doing the Laundry WMS Style
As I stated previously, living through your senses is what brings pleasure to everyday chores. Scroll down to the bottom and see how doing the wash the Weapons of Mass Seduction way is sure to brighten up your day. Enjoy!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Scentuality
Every WMS needs a signature scent. Finding a perfume you love and wearing it regularly (regularly being the key word) is a good and important step towards creating your unique sensual style. For you, it's a quick way to lift your spirits and arouse your sensuality and confidence, while for the people who get near you, it's a gentle indication of who you are and for those who are interested, it's lingering memory of an unforgettable woman.
Right now I'm obsessed with rose scent. I am still in search of a perfume that's right for me but I do wear Rose Petals body oil by Skin Love. It smells just like it advertises--romantic and sensual. I also like Rosewater hand therapy by Crabtree and Evelyn. Other than this current scent obsession, I generally wear two fragrances, depending on where I'm going and what mood I'm in. For daytime and casual wear I spritz on my current favorite L'Eau Par Kenzo. It's light and sexy and makes me feel flirty and playful. When I'm going formal or on occasions when I want to feel elegant and sophisticated, I wear Chanel No. 19. It makes me feel sensual and mysterious. You know--grown and sexy. I can feel my persona change when I have it on. I used to wear Issey Miyake but stopped when I noticed I was smelling myself everywhere. When a scent becomes too popular that's one a WMS wants to avoid.
Notice I say that each fragrance makes me feel a particular way. Even though fragrance is mostly about your sense of smell, all of your senses work together to inform your emotional state. And fragrance definitely has an effect on your mood and behavior.
Choosing the scent you like enough to be your signature fragrance can be difficult because there are so many available to choose from. It should definitely correspond to your individual personality and style, but if you haven't quite gotten figured it out yet, use the designers and celebrities as a clue. Find one whose style sensibilities are close to yours and start there.
To further assist you, I've included a fragrance test I pulled off the Internet. It's a fun way to think about your personal preferences, which will help you not only with picking your scentual signature, but your overall sensual style.
Perfect Scents
Discover your signature fragrance
By Heidi Rehak
Perfume is more than a dab or spritz as part of our morning ritual. We love knowing we smell pleasing to others, we admire the beautifully crafted bottles and packages our favorite scents come in, and we feel chic knowing we're wearing the latest "It" designer - even in liquid form.
But if you have yet to find your personal scent, or are looking to expand your fragrance wardrobe, the following quiz might be a handy drop of inspiration.
1. Your favorite color pairing is:
A. Yellow and orange
B. Red and gold
C. Green and brown
D. Pink and purple
2. Which herbal tea can most often be found in your cup?
A. Lemon Zinger
B. Jasmine
C. Green
D. Vanilla Almond
3. Your fantasy vacation would take you to:
A. The English countryside
B. An open-air market in Morocco
C. The redwood forest
D. A tropical island
4. You just might come back in your next life as a:
A. Butterfly
B. Black cat
C. Horse
D. Dog
5. Your most recent clothing or accessory splurge was:
A. Crock-print mules in a bright color
B. Sparkly, beaded bangles
C. Khaki pants
D. A pink cashmere sweater
6. Your favorite winter activity is:
A. Visiting a warm locale to soak in some sun
B. Skiing in the Swiss Alps
C. Building a snowperson
D. Snuggling with your honey under a down comforter
7. The perfect gift from your significant other would be:
A. A spa gift certificate
B. Sexy lingerie
C. A surprise picnic in the park
D. A bouquet of flowers
8. Your favorite restaurant serves which type of food?
A. Italian
B. Asian or Indian
C. Barbecue
D. Nouvelle cuisine
9. The type of music you adore most is:
A. Classical
B. World music
C. Rock
D. Jazz
10. Your signature outfit is:
A. Flirty skirt and beaded top
B. Something glittery, form-fitting and low cut
C. Warm-up suits or anything made from polar fleece
D. A long, loose, flowing dress in silk or linen
Scoring:
Add up the total number of times you chose letters A, B, C and D. Your fragrance style corresponds to the letter you chose most frequently.
A
Your perfume profile: Citrus/fruity
You love the tangy essence of fresh-squeezed juice, a wedge of lemon or ripe pears. Fruity fragrances are perfect for active women shuttling between the office, a Pilate's class and home, since they're usually light, crisp and not overpowering.
Try: Clinique Happy To Be; DKNY Perfume; Victoria Secret Breathless; and Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue.
B
Your perfume profile: Exotic
Vanilla, fresh-mulled cider, a pepper mill, cinnamon and nutmeg are some of your favorite aromas. These fragrances are usually perceived as sexy and powerful because of the high doses of intriguing and pungent ingredients that they contain, such as musk, sandalwood and caramel.
Try: Yves Saint Laurent Opium; Tom Ford's Black Orchid; Clinique Aromatics Elixer Velvet Sheer; and Juicy Couture.
C
Your perfume profile: Outdoorsy
Herbs, pine trees, a cedar chest and spring rain are all scents that lure you in. Since they contain so many green notes (patchouli, pine, basil and juniper), woodsy perfumes are ideally suited for those who work outside - or those who dream of hiking in the forest
Try: Marc Jacobs Splash-Ivy; Elizabeth Arden Green Tea Intense; Calvin Klein CK One Electric; and Escada Into the Blue.
D
Your perfume profile: Romantic
You love the scent of a spring garden in bloom, a bouquet of roses or a lavender sachet. Florals are one of the most popular fragrance categories because of their ultra-feminine appeal. However, lest you think that all florals smell sweet and girlie, know that they can range in complexity from single-note scents, like pure rose, to fruity or spicy blends.
Try: Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely; Chanel No. 5; Lancome Mille & Une Roses; Stella in Two Peony; and Estee Lauder Pleasures by Gwyneth Paltrow.
Now get out there and start turning up some noses!
Next Entry: Your Signature Trademark
Right now I'm obsessed with rose scent. I am still in search of a perfume that's right for me but I do wear Rose Petals body oil by Skin Love. It smells just like it advertises--romantic and sensual. I also like Rosewater hand therapy by Crabtree and Evelyn. Other than this current scent obsession, I generally wear two fragrances, depending on where I'm going and what mood I'm in. For daytime and casual wear I spritz on my current favorite L'Eau Par Kenzo. It's light and sexy and makes me feel flirty and playful. When I'm going formal or on occasions when I want to feel elegant and sophisticated, I wear Chanel No. 19. It makes me feel sensual and mysterious. You know--grown and sexy. I can feel my persona change when I have it on. I used to wear Issey Miyake but stopped when I noticed I was smelling myself everywhere. When a scent becomes too popular that's one a WMS wants to avoid.
Notice I say that each fragrance makes me feel a particular way. Even though fragrance is mostly about your sense of smell, all of your senses work together to inform your emotional state. And fragrance definitely has an effect on your mood and behavior.
Choosing the scent you like enough to be your signature fragrance can be difficult because there are so many available to choose from. It should definitely correspond to your individual personality and style, but if you haven't quite gotten figured it out yet, use the designers and celebrities as a clue. Find one whose style sensibilities are close to yours and start there.
To further assist you, I've included a fragrance test I pulled off the Internet. It's a fun way to think about your personal preferences, which will help you not only with picking your scentual signature, but your overall sensual style.
Perfect Scents
Discover your signature fragrance
By Heidi Rehak
Perfume is more than a dab or spritz as part of our morning ritual. We love knowing we smell pleasing to others, we admire the beautifully crafted bottles and packages our favorite scents come in, and we feel chic knowing we're wearing the latest "It" designer - even in liquid form.
But if you have yet to find your personal scent, or are looking to expand your fragrance wardrobe, the following quiz might be a handy drop of inspiration.
1. Your favorite color pairing is:
A. Yellow and orange
B. Red and gold
C. Green and brown
D. Pink and purple
2. Which herbal tea can most often be found in your cup?
A. Lemon Zinger
B. Jasmine
C. Green
D. Vanilla Almond
3. Your fantasy vacation would take you to:
A. The English countryside
B. An open-air market in Morocco
C. The redwood forest
D. A tropical island
4. You just might come back in your next life as a:
A. Butterfly
B. Black cat
C. Horse
D. Dog
5. Your most recent clothing or accessory splurge was:
A. Crock-print mules in a bright color
B. Sparkly, beaded bangles
C. Khaki pants
D. A pink cashmere sweater
6. Your favorite winter activity is:
A. Visiting a warm locale to soak in some sun
B. Skiing in the Swiss Alps
C. Building a snowperson
D. Snuggling with your honey under a down comforter
7. The perfect gift from your significant other would be:
A. A spa gift certificate
B. Sexy lingerie
C. A surprise picnic in the park
D. A bouquet of flowers
8. Your favorite restaurant serves which type of food?
A. Italian
B. Asian or Indian
C. Barbecue
D. Nouvelle cuisine
9. The type of music you adore most is:
A. Classical
B. World music
C. Rock
D. Jazz
10. Your signature outfit is:
A. Flirty skirt and beaded top
B. Something glittery, form-fitting and low cut
C. Warm-up suits or anything made from polar fleece
D. A long, loose, flowing dress in silk or linen
Scoring:
Add up the total number of times you chose letters A, B, C and D. Your fragrance style corresponds to the letter you chose most frequently.
A
Your perfume profile: Citrus/fruity
You love the tangy essence of fresh-squeezed juice, a wedge of lemon or ripe pears. Fruity fragrances are perfect for active women shuttling between the office, a Pilate's class and home, since they're usually light, crisp and not overpowering.
Try: Clinique Happy To Be; DKNY Perfume; Victoria Secret Breathless; and Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue.
B
Your perfume profile: Exotic
Vanilla, fresh-mulled cider, a pepper mill, cinnamon and nutmeg are some of your favorite aromas. These fragrances are usually perceived as sexy and powerful because of the high doses of intriguing and pungent ingredients that they contain, such as musk, sandalwood and caramel.
Try: Yves Saint Laurent Opium; Tom Ford's Black Orchid; Clinique Aromatics Elixer Velvet Sheer; and Juicy Couture.
C
Your perfume profile: Outdoorsy
Herbs, pine trees, a cedar chest and spring rain are all scents that lure you in. Since they contain so many green notes (patchouli, pine, basil and juniper), woodsy perfumes are ideally suited for those who work outside - or those who dream of hiking in the forest
Try: Marc Jacobs Splash-Ivy; Elizabeth Arden Green Tea Intense; Calvin Klein CK One Electric; and Escada Into the Blue.
D
Your perfume profile: Romantic
You love the scent of a spring garden in bloom, a bouquet of roses or a lavender sachet. Florals are one of the most popular fragrance categories because of their ultra-feminine appeal. However, lest you think that all florals smell sweet and girlie, know that they can range in complexity from single-note scents, like pure rose, to fruity or spicy blends.
Try: Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely; Chanel No. 5; Lancome Mille & Une Roses; Stella in Two Peony; and Estee Lauder Pleasures by Gwyneth Paltrow.
Now get out there and start turning up some noses!
Next Entry: Your Signature Trademark
Monday, January 8, 2007
Your Sensual Signature: Five Things Every WMS Should Own
We've all been there. You know, you and the girls decide to go out and hang for a while so you get all dolled up and hit the town. You're sitting in a place minding your own business, thinking you're looking cute and hoping someone else is going to think so too. And then here she comes. Ms. Thing. She sashays confidently into the room oblivious that all eyes, including yours, are on her. She's wearing the perfect little black dress (the one you've been searching for but always see on some other woman's back) and struts over to the bar in a way that makes every body part sway with come-hither appeal. It's a walk that brings men to her side and sends women into private places to practice. You feel both jealousy and admiration towards this diva. Talk about paling by comparison. Suddenly you don't feel so cute. And of course, the biatch sits down right next to you and instead of ordering a Cosmo like every other girl in the room, asks for some drink you've never heard of.
On closer inspection you see that she's more striking than beautiful. More sensuous than sexy. Of course, within minutes some Chris Rock looking guy is elbowing you out of the way to get to her. You watch her handle the admirer, graciously accepting his compliments with a you're-so-sweet-but-this-is never-going-to-happen smile and sending him back to his friends thinking he's Denzel Washington. You realize then that they key to her irresistible charm is confidence. This is a woman who is totally at ease with herself. A woman to study and emulate, not envy.
She has that undefinable "it" and you want it too. But how? Where do you start?
Most true WMS take great pride in their individual sensuality. They have, through trial and error and dedicated effort, honed a look and air about them that is unique and memorable. It's the little things that they do or say or wear that make them stand out in a crowd. And because they aren't trying to be like everyone else, being themselves can never be wrong.
So how do you cultivate your own sensual signature? My suggestion would be to start with the following list of five things that IMHO, every WMS should own and make part of their everyday existence. Each item on this list, first and foremost, should remind YOU that you are a confident, unique, sensual woman and by default the rest of the world will realize this too. And make a note: these are not items found on the 'what's hot' or trend lists of the season, but rather carefully considered 'finds' that define you.
1. Signature Scent. Every WMS should have her own scentuality. It's a sweet lasting impression that will linger long after you've gone.
2. Signature Symbol. Just like companies brand their products so should you. Identify your special trademark icon and share it with the world.
3. Signature Style. Know your personal style and dress and accessorize to express yourself. This includes everything from a signature accessory to your signature cocktail. And very WMS should own at least one pair of CFM shoes. Nothing can make you look more sexy than a great pair of heels or less sexy than a matronly pair of Aerosoles.
.
4. Signature Smile. You'd be surprised how much you don't smile and you should as it's your most effective seduction tool.
5. Sense of self. Woman know thyself, love you, live your truth and make no excuses.
Let's be clear. These are not things you put in your trick bag and bring out for special occasions. These are things you build your sensual persona around, the things people come to know you by. These are your personal touches that make you stand out in the crowd and mark you as a woman who knows and likes herself. You're not trying to dress up and play at being a sensual woman. You are owning your unique sensuality and therefore simply being irresistible you.
So take a minute to think about the list in general and then on the next few entries, we'll discuss each one individually.
Next entry: Scentuality
On closer inspection you see that she's more striking than beautiful. More sensuous than sexy. Of course, within minutes some Chris Rock looking guy is elbowing you out of the way to get to her. You watch her handle the admirer, graciously accepting his compliments with a you're-so-sweet-but-this-is never-going-to-happen smile and sending him back to his friends thinking he's Denzel Washington. You realize then that they key to her irresistible charm is confidence. This is a woman who is totally at ease with herself. A woman to study and emulate, not envy.
She has that undefinable "it" and you want it too. But how? Where do you start?
Most true WMS take great pride in their individual sensuality. They have, through trial and error and dedicated effort, honed a look and air about them that is unique and memorable. It's the little things that they do or say or wear that make them stand out in a crowd. And because they aren't trying to be like everyone else, being themselves can never be wrong.
So how do you cultivate your own sensual signature? My suggestion would be to start with the following list of five things that IMHO, every WMS should own and make part of their everyday existence. Each item on this list, first and foremost, should remind YOU that you are a confident, unique, sensual woman and by default the rest of the world will realize this too. And make a note: these are not items found on the 'what's hot' or trend lists of the season, but rather carefully considered 'finds' that define you.
1. Signature Scent. Every WMS should have her own scentuality. It's a sweet lasting impression that will linger long after you've gone.
2. Signature Symbol. Just like companies brand their products so should you. Identify your special trademark icon and share it with the world.
3. Signature Style. Know your personal style and dress and accessorize to express yourself. This includes everything from a signature accessory to your signature cocktail. And very WMS should own at least one pair of CFM shoes. Nothing can make you look more sexy than a great pair of heels or less sexy than a matronly pair of Aerosoles.
.
4. Signature Smile. You'd be surprised how much you don't smile and you should as it's your most effective seduction tool.
5. Sense of self. Woman know thyself, love you, live your truth and make no excuses.
Let's be clear. These are not things you put in your trick bag and bring out for special occasions. These are things you build your sensual persona around, the things people come to know you by. These are your personal touches that make you stand out in the crowd and mark you as a woman who knows and likes herself. You're not trying to dress up and play at being a sensual woman. You are owning your unique sensuality and therefore simply being irresistible you.
So take a minute to think about the list in general and then on the next few entries, we'll discuss each one individually.
Next entry: Scentuality
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Sensuality Lecture 101: Sensuality vs Sexuality
When you hear the word sensuality, what is the very first thought that pops into your mind?
I’ll pause while you ponder.
Okay, raise your hand if you said, “Sex.”
If you did, it’s okay. You’re not wrong, just a little misguided. Most people do think that sexuality and sensuality are synonymous. We’ve been trained that way. And for sure, sensuality is a key ingredient in achieving a richer, more satisfying sexual experience. But, as Joey Clements, the sensuality coach in my new novel, points out,
“Sensuality, my lovelies, is much more encompassing than just a mere sexual perk. To be sensual means to be acutely aware of your surroundings. It’s the joyous preoccupation with what you smell, touch, hear, taste and see. With the right state of mind, you can make anything a sensual experience—eating, walking, dancing, gardening, laundry—you name it.”
Think about it? Outside of the bedroom, just how sensual are you? Do you save the soft sheets for company? Your favorite outfit for a special occasion? Do you buy flowers only for special events? Light candles and put on sexy panties and perfume when it’s time to make love? Are you only sensual when other people are watching?
Have you ever picked up a rose petal, closed your eyes, brought it to your nose and inhaled its sweet bliss? A rose’s aroma is subtle and seductive…erotically innocent and yet confidently powerful. You haven’t noticed? Have you taken the velvety soft petal and rubbed it across your cheek or breast and felt your body tingle in reaction?
No? Why, because it is just a floral decoration?
Here’s more from Joey Clements.
“Sensual people savor the world around them, not simply observe it. They experience each task rather than rush through it to get at some imagined end, and in so doing, live a more passionate and appreciative existence.
“So by living sensually, you begin to see the world in vivid color and delight in the goodness that envelops you daily. You’re always in the moment and aren’t hung up on the future or the past. And this, my lovelies, has a huge bearing on how you perceive life…and sex.”
Make a commitment to yourself to notice the sensuality of the world around you. Take some time each day and vow to experience your world from a sensual perspective. Take a walk and notice the sounds, sights, smells, textures and tastes around you. Do the housework in your best underwear and listen to music that rocks you from the inside out. Make dinner a sensual extravaganza. From the laundry room to the bedroom and everywhere in between, explore the sensual you and learn how to use your unique sensibilities to create an extraordinary atmosphere in which to live, love and of course, make love. Stop looking at your sensuality as a sexual perk and start enjoying it 24/7. Because when you feel like a sensual woman you behave like one. And that confidence, my lovelies, is the true secret to driving your partner wild in bed.
What do you think?
Next entry: Five things every sensual woman should own.
I’ll pause while you ponder.
Okay, raise your hand if you said, “Sex.”
If you did, it’s okay. You’re not wrong, just a little misguided. Most people do think that sexuality and sensuality are synonymous. We’ve been trained that way. And for sure, sensuality is a key ingredient in achieving a richer, more satisfying sexual experience. But, as Joey Clements, the sensuality coach in my new novel, points out,
“Sensuality, my lovelies, is much more encompassing than just a mere sexual perk. To be sensual means to be acutely aware of your surroundings. It’s the joyous preoccupation with what you smell, touch, hear, taste and see. With the right state of mind, you can make anything a sensual experience—eating, walking, dancing, gardening, laundry—you name it.”
Think about it? Outside of the bedroom, just how sensual are you? Do you save the soft sheets for company? Your favorite outfit for a special occasion? Do you buy flowers only for special events? Light candles and put on sexy panties and perfume when it’s time to make love? Are you only sensual when other people are watching?
Have you ever picked up a rose petal, closed your eyes, brought it to your nose and inhaled its sweet bliss? A rose’s aroma is subtle and seductive…erotically innocent and yet confidently powerful. You haven’t noticed? Have you taken the velvety soft petal and rubbed it across your cheek or breast and felt your body tingle in reaction?
No? Why, because it is just a floral decoration?
Here’s more from Joey Clements.
“Sensual people savor the world around them, not simply observe it. They experience each task rather than rush through it to get at some imagined end, and in so doing, live a more passionate and appreciative existence.
“So by living sensually, you begin to see the world in vivid color and delight in the goodness that envelops you daily. You’re always in the moment and aren’t hung up on the future or the past. And this, my lovelies, has a huge bearing on how you perceive life…and sex.”
Make a commitment to yourself to notice the sensuality of the world around you. Take some time each day and vow to experience your world from a sensual perspective. Take a walk and notice the sounds, sights, smells, textures and tastes around you. Do the housework in your best underwear and listen to music that rocks you from the inside out. Make dinner a sensual extravaganza. From the laundry room to the bedroom and everywhere in between, explore the sensual you and learn how to use your unique sensibilities to create an extraordinary atmosphere in which to live, love and of course, make love. Stop looking at your sensuality as a sexual perk and start enjoying it 24/7. Because when you feel like a sensual woman you behave like one. And that confidence, my lovelies, is the true secret to driving your partner wild in bed.
What do you think?
Next entry: Five things every sensual woman should own.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
We Interrupt Our Regular Programming...
I realize that this entry was supposed to be about sexuality vs sensuality, but I need to take time out for a commercial message. I added a new subscription service to this blog and want to encourage you to subscribe. If you do, instead of you having to seek out these amazing pearls of sensual wisdom (LOL), they will arrive to you via email. Just scroll down to the sign up box on the right and insert your email address. Every time there's a new post you'll know because your mailbox will be just a tad hotter! Sign up now! And please don't hesitate to send in your comments. Thanks.
We now return to our regular programming.
We now return to our regular programming.
Monday, January 1, 2007
New Year...A New Sensual You
Happy New Year! Just a short message today to say, while you're making your resolutions for 2007 don't forget to add "A Sensual New Me" to top of the list. This is the year for you to find your lost sensual side-the side that easily gets pushed away as life becomes more demanding and age and other people's opinions take their toll on your feminine confidence. Make a promise to yourself that you will rediscover your sensual side so you can live in the moment, experience life to its absolute fullest and be the unique, amazing sensual woman you were meant to be.
It's going to be a great 2007! What do you think?
Next entry: Sensuality vs. Sexuality
It's going to be a great 2007! What do you think?
Next entry: Sensuality vs. Sexuality
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Breasts...The Big...The Beautiful...The Boobalicious
Remembering my conversation with the boys and mainly their fascination with breasts and behinds got me thinking about my own. So now that we're on the subject I want to say two things right up front: First, I am grateful and feel blessed because even though they may be drooping like snapdragons in the Sahara, they are mine and they are healthy. Secondly, as with most things, you always seem to want whatever it is you don't have.
I'm not bragging but I've always had great boobs....the kind of breasts that men admire and women envy. And even though I'm not the type to keep them on display 24/7, I'm kinda known for my breasts (among other things, damn it!). Mine have been voted the "breasts I'd like to have" by more than a few women around neighborhood. And I've even had men (tacky as it sounds) point to my breasts as the size and shape their women should buy. Once, I was at a party, and a woman came up to me and rubbed her face in my bosom, stating she'd been wanting to do that all night. Can't you just hear the nervous laughter? I was mortified.
Okay, it sounds a little like bragging but I'm really not because it took me forever to get them (Carla DeLucci and I were the only girls still wearing a training bra in the eighth grade) and then it wasn't until I got into my 40's (when frankly they aren't quite so glorious) that I fell in love with my breasts.
In high school, my boobs got me a lot of embarrassing attention. My sexual confidence wasn't quite keeping up with my bustline so I tried to hide the source of the attention. I didn't wear low cut or particularly tight shirts, nothing to really showcase the girls. I didn't even wear a bikini until I was of legal drinking again! Looking back it was my shyness about my body that gave me the 'mysterious' side that still defines me today.
When I was in my twenties, having great breasts was a real asset for sure. Yes, they were a man-magnet, but by then I was finding my fashion style and all the clothes I wanted to wear looked better on smaller breasted women--like models (forget I'm only 5'3" and curvy. Like I said, you always want what you don't have). I spent most of my twenties wishing for B-cups. With smaller breasts I could wear the sexy halter tops and blazers without a blouse and daring bathing suits cut down to my bellybutton without people forgetting I had a face and always zeroing in on my mammories. Wearing those kind of clothes with large breasts, more often than not, crosses that fine line between sexy and slutty, and the General's daughter is no slut.
But let's be real. They were an attention-getter and a definite plus when it came down to my husband deciding to ask me to marry him.
In my thirties, my breasts were baby-magnets. They changed, filling up to a size D-cup to nurture my children and then returning to my normal C-cup. It must have been wearing those ugly maternity bras that led me to discover the thrill of pretty brassieres. Though more comfortable with my cleavage, I was now in that distorted mommy vs sex object confused stage, so while I was dressing more like a mommy, lingerie became my invisible obsession. I could buy bras anywhere--from the poshest lingerie shop to Marshall's. I'd always find something to keep me sensually outfitted.
I entered my 40's a stone diva. In the best shape of my life, I felt great--sexy and wise--and my breasts never looked better. I was more confident about my body and myself in general. Forty was fantastic. Forty was fabulous. Forty through forty-three was the freakin' bomb. Then I turned 44 and stuff (like hormones and gravity) started to happen. All my bras and tops were shrinking. I went to get fitted only to realize that it wasn't the bras getting smaller (duh!) but my boobs getting larger. Oh no! I never wanted bigger boobs! I never asked for bigger boobs. Why not give them to someone who really needed them?
I went from a 36 C to a 42 Long (okay a wee bit of an exaggeration). Forget that 36 D is the most requested size for breast augmentations. This change in cup size caused a huge upheaval to my female psyche. My bigger boobs were making me feel matronly. Dowdy. It wasn't fair. I'd had such a short time of feeling fabulous. Hormones suck.
I felt I was now sentenced to wearing beige, granny bras (sorry Grandy) with enough hardware to set off airport metal detectors. I was afraid to walk past refrigerator magnets. Now my clothes didn't fit. I had to start buying a larger size to accommodate my breasts and then run to the tailor to fit the rest of my body. Button up shirts were now cardigans. I had to worry about wearing scoop necklines so I didn't look like I was sporting a uniboob. And then there was the added pressure of upping my exercise routine. I really had to worry about keeping my stomach toned so I didn't end up walking around looking like the capital letter B. All the while I was reverting back to high school. Trying to cover the girls back up so I wouldn't be perceived as a desperate old diva. And because I had no other choice (nothing buttoned damn it!) my cleavage was spilling out on a more regular basis. The comments flew! I was back to feeling embarrassed and annoyed.
But a funny thing happened somewhere around 45. I once again began to enjoy the attention the girls were bringing me. After nearly twenty years of avoiding them, I am intentionally wearing clothes that showcase my cleavage. Instead of cringing at the subtle glances and cheeky comments, I appreciate them. Perhaps it is the I-could-give-a-damn-attitude that comes with middle age or the desire to stay sexually relevant, but I'm no longer concerned what anyone thinks about me. I've matured into my bustline. On my last vacation I even wore a bikini and after twenty minutes of strategically positioning myself so my nipples didn't get lost in my armpits, I even got quite a few glances and smiles (okay, they were men well past 40 but men nonetheless). And guess what, because D cup is the most requested fake boobie size, there are plenty of beautiful, sexy bras out there for the wearing and sharing.
So now we come to the moral of this story and this entire blog, which is that ATTITUDE is everything. It takes so long for us women to find and be comfortable with our sexual selves that we miss so many great life and love experiences worrying that we don't measure up--whether by cup size or hair length or dress size. We receive so many mixed messages about what's sexy and who's sexy that we worry ourselves into sexlessism (I'm not sure that's a real word but you get the gist). It's like the Babes said in my last entry, they'd rather be with a confident woman with small boobs than a uncomfortable one with Pamela Anderson's.
Okay, I won't lie. It feels good being both confident and boobalicious. But before you think I'm bragging again, know this. I got good breasts because God decided that I couldn't have it all and gave me absolutely no butt. None. Zilch. Nada. Great Wall of China. Flapjack. Those were the typical cracks thrown at me, until of course, I turn around. :-)
So, all you WMS out there, pick out your best feature and embrace it. Take what you've got (forget about what's not) and work it til you drop!
What do you think?
Next entry: New year...A New Sensual You.
I'm not bragging but I've always had great boobs....the kind of breasts that men admire and women envy. And even though I'm not the type to keep them on display 24/7, I'm kinda known for my breasts (among other things, damn it!). Mine have been voted the "breasts I'd like to have" by more than a few women around neighborhood. And I've even had men (tacky as it sounds) point to my breasts as the size and shape their women should buy. Once, I was at a party, and a woman came up to me and rubbed her face in my bosom, stating she'd been wanting to do that all night. Can't you just hear the nervous laughter? I was mortified.
Okay, it sounds a little like bragging but I'm really not because it took me forever to get them (Carla DeLucci and I were the only girls still wearing a training bra in the eighth grade) and then it wasn't until I got into my 40's (when frankly they aren't quite so glorious) that I fell in love with my breasts.
In high school, my boobs got me a lot of embarrassing attention. My sexual confidence wasn't quite keeping up with my bustline so I tried to hide the source of the attention. I didn't wear low cut or particularly tight shirts, nothing to really showcase the girls. I didn't even wear a bikini until I was of legal drinking again! Looking back it was my shyness about my body that gave me the 'mysterious' side that still defines me today.
When I was in my twenties, having great breasts was a real asset for sure. Yes, they were a man-magnet, but by then I was finding my fashion style and all the clothes I wanted to wear looked better on smaller breasted women--like models (forget I'm only 5'3" and curvy. Like I said, you always want what you don't have). I spent most of my twenties wishing for B-cups. With smaller breasts I could wear the sexy halter tops and blazers without a blouse and daring bathing suits cut down to my bellybutton without people forgetting I had a face and always zeroing in on my mammories. Wearing those kind of clothes with large breasts, more often than not, crosses that fine line between sexy and slutty, and the General's daughter is no slut.
But let's be real. They were an attention-getter and a definite plus when it came down to my husband deciding to ask me to marry him.
In my thirties, my breasts were baby-magnets. They changed, filling up to a size D-cup to nurture my children and then returning to my normal C-cup. It must have been wearing those ugly maternity bras that led me to discover the thrill of pretty brassieres. Though more comfortable with my cleavage, I was now in that distorted mommy vs sex object confused stage, so while I was dressing more like a mommy, lingerie became my invisible obsession. I could buy bras anywhere--from the poshest lingerie shop to Marshall's. I'd always find something to keep me sensually outfitted.
I entered my 40's a stone diva. In the best shape of my life, I felt great--sexy and wise--and my breasts never looked better. I was more confident about my body and myself in general. Forty was fantastic. Forty was fabulous. Forty through forty-three was the freakin' bomb. Then I turned 44 and stuff (like hormones and gravity) started to happen. All my bras and tops were shrinking. I went to get fitted only to realize that it wasn't the bras getting smaller (duh!) but my boobs getting larger. Oh no! I never wanted bigger boobs! I never asked for bigger boobs. Why not give them to someone who really needed them?
I went from a 36 C to a 42 Long (okay a wee bit of an exaggeration). Forget that 36 D is the most requested size for breast augmentations. This change in cup size caused a huge upheaval to my female psyche. My bigger boobs were making me feel matronly. Dowdy. It wasn't fair. I'd had such a short time of feeling fabulous. Hormones suck.
I felt I was now sentenced to wearing beige, granny bras (sorry Grandy) with enough hardware to set off airport metal detectors. I was afraid to walk past refrigerator magnets. Now my clothes didn't fit. I had to start buying a larger size to accommodate my breasts and then run to the tailor to fit the rest of my body. Button up shirts were now cardigans. I had to worry about wearing scoop necklines so I didn't look like I was sporting a uniboob. And then there was the added pressure of upping my exercise routine. I really had to worry about keeping my stomach toned so I didn't end up walking around looking like the capital letter B. All the while I was reverting back to high school. Trying to cover the girls back up so I wouldn't be perceived as a desperate old diva. And because I had no other choice (nothing buttoned damn it!) my cleavage was spilling out on a more regular basis. The comments flew! I was back to feeling embarrassed and annoyed.
But a funny thing happened somewhere around 45. I once again began to enjoy the attention the girls were bringing me. After nearly twenty years of avoiding them, I am intentionally wearing clothes that showcase my cleavage. Instead of cringing at the subtle glances and cheeky comments, I appreciate them. Perhaps it is the I-could-give-a-damn-attitude that comes with middle age or the desire to stay sexually relevant, but I'm no longer concerned what anyone thinks about me. I've matured into my bustline. On my last vacation I even wore a bikini and after twenty minutes of strategically positioning myself so my nipples didn't get lost in my armpits, I even got quite a few glances and smiles (okay, they were men well past 40 but men nonetheless). And guess what, because D cup is the most requested fake boobie size, there are plenty of beautiful, sexy bras out there for the wearing and sharing.
So now we come to the moral of this story and this entire blog, which is that ATTITUDE is everything. It takes so long for us women to find and be comfortable with our sexual selves that we miss so many great life and love experiences worrying that we don't measure up--whether by cup size or hair length or dress size. We receive so many mixed messages about what's sexy and who's sexy that we worry ourselves into sexlessism (I'm not sure that's a real word but you get the gist). It's like the Babes said in my last entry, they'd rather be with a confident woman with small boobs than a uncomfortable one with Pamela Anderson's.
Okay, I won't lie. It feels good being both confident and boobalicious. But before you think I'm bragging again, know this. I got good breasts because God decided that I couldn't have it all and gave me absolutely no butt. None. Zilch. Nada. Great Wall of China. Flapjack. Those were the typical cracks thrown at me, until of course, I turn around. :-)
So, all you WMS out there, pick out your best feature and embrace it. Take what you've got (forget about what's not) and work it til you drop!
What do you think?
Next entry: New year...A New Sensual You.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Out of the Mouth of Babes
I was going through my research notes for Weapons and ran across the interviews I did with several men, all of different age, race, economic and marital status, asking them what about women attracted them. As this is a blog on how to be a weapon of mass seduction, I thought you'd be as interested as I was to hear their answers. For the record, all of the men mentioned in some form or another "great tits and a slamming ass," so let's just put that out there now. But beyond that, their answers proved to be enlightened and amazingly quite similar.
1. What about a particular woman who walks into the room do you find attractive and commands your attention? Joe, 59: For me, sensuality is the spark. I can look at a woman and the way she is groomed, really her attitude toward her dressing, catches my eye. That and mysterious confidence. She'll walk into a room, knows she's being checked out but waits to makes eye contact. Doug 26: A woman with a confident demeanor. Someone who's not afraid to get out on the dance floor and have fun, but not a freak either, a "lady" with a little bit of a wild side. But you get all of that from everything about her, walk, talk, dress, who she is with, what drink she orders, how she orders it....you just have to assess well. Ted 39: A soft smile. Her confidence. The way she walks. God-given hair that can be styled in different ways. What she wears and how she wears it. How she innocently but strategically shows off her best attributes. Madison 50: Her style, her energy. It's really about the way a woman carries herself because style and energy will supersede age and looks.
2. What do you find sexy about a woman? Ken 45: Brains. There is nothing less sexy than striking up a conversation with someone who has no idea that a white woman just blasted her black husband out of a Tennessee jail. Or one who has no discernible position on why we are in Iraq. Maybe that makes me a lot different from all the other guys...and it might, but I have always felt this way. I would walk across the room to talk to a girl and I would likely say something witty that was current events or news related and if it sailed above her head I was always looking for away out. That conversation was over! Giuseppe 56: Passion is what makes a woman sexy. The body may not be perfect. The face more interesting than beautiful, but if a woman has charm then I want to know her. Joe: Doe eyes, well manicured hands and feet, subtle imperfections such as a mole on her lower lip or neck. Madison: A woman who communicates that she has a sexual appetite and sexual energy in a subtle way that lets you know she's no freak but she's no lady either. Doug: When my jaw drops while she is wearing flip flops, sweatpants, a sports bra and a hat. Anyone can look good dressed up, but if you can get my while you are bumming it....then you must be a keeper....and probably that little bit of a wild side I talked about earlier.
3. How important is the physical? Joe: Physical is not important if she knows how to work with what she has. If she's self-conscious about certain physical parts of her body and it shows, that's a turn-off. Madison: If she has other things to compensate for the physical--things like wit, intellect, humor, energy and good conversation the physical isn't so important and if she is attractive and has none of the other things it matters even less. Ken: Physical appearance is very important. I dated several women who I didn't feel were "pretty enough" to show to my friends. Then one day one of my friends was telling me about his new lady friend and he said, "You're not going to like her...she's not a beauty queen." And then I asked him when was the last time either of us was in the company of a beauty queen and we both realized that we ought to start worrying more about what we liked about a girl than what our friends liked. Ted: Very important. It's what catches the eye and stirs the imagination to wonder.
4. What's the one thing that will win you over every time? Ken: Brains. Being funny! Being down. Joe: Intelligence, wit, sense of humor, and a great smile. Doug: Gets me every time...that little smirk from across the room to say "Hello." Even if I have been with a girl for years, that will always make me smile. Giuseppe: Eyes that smile at me and tell me what she is really thinking. Madison: If she exudes life-force and sexual energy. That tells me she is into life and is a positive person instead of a complainer. I like a little aggressiveness--enough to tell me that she's independent and not trying to sap my energy. Ted: The combination of her lips, eyes, and smile. All: Great tits and a slamming ass.
Interesting, yes? So what do you think?
Next Entry: Breasts...the Big, the Beautiful, the boobalicious
1. What about a particular woman who walks into the room do you find attractive and commands your attention? Joe, 59: For me, sensuality is the spark. I can look at a woman and the way she is groomed, really her attitude toward her dressing, catches my eye. That and mysterious confidence. She'll walk into a room, knows she's being checked out but waits to makes eye contact. Doug 26: A woman with a confident demeanor. Someone who's not afraid to get out on the dance floor and have fun, but not a freak either, a "lady" with a little bit of a wild side. But you get all of that from everything about her, walk, talk, dress, who she is with, what drink she orders, how she orders it....you just have to assess well. Ted 39: A soft smile. Her confidence. The way she walks. God-given hair that can be styled in different ways. What she wears and how she wears it. How she innocently but strategically shows off her best attributes. Madison 50: Her style, her energy. It's really about the way a woman carries herself because style and energy will supersede age and looks.
2. What do you find sexy about a woman? Ken 45: Brains. There is nothing less sexy than striking up a conversation with someone who has no idea that a white woman just blasted her black husband out of a Tennessee jail. Or one who has no discernible position on why we are in Iraq. Maybe that makes me a lot different from all the other guys...and it might, but I have always felt this way. I would walk across the room to talk to a girl and I would likely say something witty that was current events or news related and if it sailed above her head I was always looking for away out. That conversation was over! Giuseppe 56: Passion is what makes a woman sexy. The body may not be perfect. The face more interesting than beautiful, but if a woman has charm then I want to know her. Joe: Doe eyes, well manicured hands and feet, subtle imperfections such as a mole on her lower lip or neck. Madison: A woman who communicates that she has a sexual appetite and sexual energy in a subtle way that lets you know she's no freak but she's no lady either. Doug: When my jaw drops while she is wearing flip flops, sweatpants, a sports bra and a hat. Anyone can look good dressed up, but if you can get my while you are bumming it....then you must be a keeper....and probably that little bit of a wild side I talked about earlier.
3. How important is the physical? Joe: Physical is not important if she knows how to work with what she has. If she's self-conscious about certain physical parts of her body and it shows, that's a turn-off. Madison: If she has other things to compensate for the physical--things like wit, intellect, humor, energy and good conversation the physical isn't so important and if she is attractive and has none of the other things it matters even less. Ken: Physical appearance is very important. I dated several women who I didn't feel were "pretty enough" to show to my friends. Then one day one of my friends was telling me about his new lady friend and he said, "You're not going to like her...she's not a beauty queen." And then I asked him when was the last time either of us was in the company of a beauty queen and we both realized that we ought to start worrying more about what we liked about a girl than what our friends liked. Ted: Very important. It's what catches the eye and stirs the imagination to wonder.
4. What's the one thing that will win you over every time? Ken: Brains. Being funny! Being down. Joe: Intelligence, wit, sense of humor, and a great smile. Doug: Gets me every time...that little smirk from across the room to say "Hello." Even if I have been with a girl for years, that will always make me smile. Giuseppe: Eyes that smile at me and tell me what she is really thinking. Madison: If she exudes life-force and sexual energy. That tells me she is into life and is a positive person instead of a complainer. I like a little aggressiveness--enough to tell me that she's independent and not trying to sap my energy. Ted: The combination of her lips, eyes, and smile. All: Great tits and a slamming ass.
Interesting, yes? So what do you think?
Next Entry: Breasts...the Big, the Beautiful, the boobalicious
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Bringing Sexy Back
"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. Other women cloy the appetites they feed, but she makes hungry where she most satisfies." Shakespeare
Even in 1601, William Shakespeare, speaking of Cleopatra, got the joke: A confident, sensual woman is ageless and unforgettable. Centuries later, in the 1920's, the godmother of seductive, feminine sensuality, Gabrielle Chanel, brought us Chanel No. 5, the indespensible LBD (little black dress) and the mindset that "for one to be irreplaceable, one must always be different."
But somewhere between Coco Chanel and Nicole Kidman, sensuality and seduction became a spectator sport. We "normal" women sat back and watched the beautiful people have all the fun, settling for living vicariously through the loves and lives of famous celebrities and literary characters. We got so bogged down underneath all the details of our lives of being everything to everybody that we forgot the soft, sensual sides of ourselves. And by the time we sat down, exhaled and remembered, society was telling us that part of our lives were over. Well, Justin Timberlake, sweet man-child that he is, got it right. It's time to bring sexy back!
My new novel, Weapons of Mass Seduction, in tandem with this blog, is designed to help women like you and me find our way back to our lost sensual side--the side that gets pushed away as life becomes more demanding and age (and other people's opinions) take their toll on our feminine confidence. From the living room to the bedroom and everywhere in between I'll be sharing my thoughts on sensual living and loving. Enjoy and by all means, feel free to send me comments.
Next entry: Out of the Mouth of Babes
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