Live Love

Happy Valentine's Day! I sincerely hope that this day is full of love and happy, wonderful feeling for all of you.

Today has been put aside for love and I hope you will use the opportunity to really and truly fall in love with yourselves. Let this be the beginning of your new 'love' year resolution to become the best lover you can possibly be.

Whenever I give a workshop, I ask people to raise their hand if they think they are good lovers. Of course nearly every woman in the room raises her hand, often with a nervous chuckle because hey, who doesn't want to believe that they can drop it like it's hot. But when I ask how many are great lovers outside the bedroom, with all their clothes and various body parts in their proper places, suddenly they're not so sure because if they were indeed good lovers, wouldn't they have a man? Wouldn't their marriages feel more intimate? Wouldn't they feel better about themselves?

In my writing classes, I tell students that much of the work of writing a novel comes way before you ever sit down to type the words, once upon a time. The same is true of creating a great love life. Much of the work of being a memorable lover begins way before you ever hit the sheets and it all begins with your attitude about love.

When it comes to love too many of us are satisfied simply experiencing love as a state of mind. We allow love to dwell in our hearts and heads and fuel this emotion with love songs, poems and romance novels. We extend our feelings to only those 'lovers' we deem acceptable and worthy--spouses, children, parents, siblings,friends--and exclude those who don't fit neatly into our heart-shaped box.

Expand your loving state of mind and make it your quest to exist in a loving state of being. Extend the boundaries of your acceptable 'lovers' and fill your world, not just your mind, with loving thoughts and actions. A smile, a thought, a good deed towards a stranger is a good way to start. Be a friend instead of a competitor. Accept and return a compliment with a genuine smile. Ask not what your lover can do for you, but what you can do for your lover!

The only way to receive love is to give it. The only way to be blessed with quality love is to offer quality love in return. You get back what you give.

LIVE love. And remember on this Valentine's Day, a day of self-pity and angst for many, it's not always about WHO you love, but rather DO you love.

What do you think?

Okay...I've exhausted politics and this holiday of hearts topic. Next week I'm going to tackle the subject of many emails I've received over the months...toys (you know what kind of toys!) So pull on your big girl panties, we have lots to discuss! Did you know they have one that looks like a lipstick? Stay tuned.

Take February 14th Back

Valentine’s Day is a lot more pressure-packed than most women care to admit. If you’re single and dateless, it becomes yet another depressing reminder that you’re alone. If you’re married and have been for years, the monotony of familiarity raises its ugly head and the pressure to take the old and make it new and sexy and exciting can be intimidating. Then there's the age old worry about the 'gift' and what it says about the state of your relationship.

Like I said, way too much pressure. Enough pressure that I'm going to devote the next few entries to Cupid's little holiday in hopes of helping you take ownership of the day and get that little winged baby off your back.

So single ladies...this one's for you. It’s time to take Valentine’s Day back! Celebrating the lover in you is just as important, just as legitimate, and can be just as enticing as celebrating the lover next to you. Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Stop hatin' others. This applies to friends who have lovers; your ex who dropped you via email right after New Years; all the employees of Hallmark, Whitman Candies and 1-800-flowers combined; and most importantly YOURSELF for feeling like less of a woman because some florist association decided to pick February 14th as the one day of the year to cash in, and then picked a fat baby with wings and a bow and arrow as it's mascot, all without regard to how women without a significant other might feel (okay, I don't know the above to be fact but it sure feels that way and seems like a perfectly legitimate explanation).

2. Start lovin' yourself. Treat yourself to five star lover treatment. Get up in the morning and put on your sexiest draws and most flattering outfit. Get your hair done and make sure your makeup is flawless. Feel good about the lover in you all day. That evening, pull out all your treats from your sensual trick bag--the candles, champagne, rose petal bath--and let the one person you tell the least, know that you love her the most. Make special plans for yourself, complete with a gift (jewelry is always a good idea), just as you would the great love of your life. Because after all, aren't you? If not, you should be.

3. Start spreadin' the love. You know the sayings, 'you get back what you give', 'what goes around, comes around', 'like energy attracts like energy'. Let your Valentine's Day gift to others be a genuine smile and kind word to everyone you meet. Not only will you feel happier and great about yourself, you'll feel the love returned.

The true tragedy surrounding this holiday of hearts is that it forces you to pour all your attention and energy into one day when every day (or at least every other Tuesday) should be a holiday about sharing your heart and body with someone you love--especially when that someone is you.

What do you think?

Get Ready for a Sexy September

I'm sure you've noticed that my blog entries have been a little lacking this month. I apologize, but see what had happen was, first, some kind of technical snafu with blogspot kept me from blogging, and then with all of my book touring and personal vacation time and getting my son ready to leave for college next week, well finding time to blog has been tough.

So WMS is officially on hiatus for the rest of August and will return on September 6 for a month dedicated to thoughts on S.E.X. The things I want to discuss involve feeling good about sex as a woman; about knowing how to do more than turn on your lover, but also how to recognize your own sexual power and how to use the power of the punani to benefit you and your partner. We'll be talking about looking at new ways to apporach sex--with an eye on playfulness, a sense of adventure and a commitment to your own pleasure.

So enjoy the rest of your summer and get ready for a Sexy September! In the meantime, if you have any questions, comments or suggested topics send them along to mass.seduction@yahoo.com

Until the sixth, think sexy thoughts!