WMS Q & A

I've been getting a lot of great questions that I thought I'd share with you on the blog. This week's query:

Q. You say that a woman should take her best feature and embrace it. How does an aspiring WMS determine her best feature?

A. By taking the time to truly admire herself with loving eyes. Most us don't really look at ourselves and our bodies. We only study and critique them and that's why we don't learn to love and accept them as is. Spend some quality time with the lady in the looking glass. You'll be amazed by how fabulous she really is if you only take the time to truly see her.

Also you need to learn to really listen and internalize the compliments you receive. Most of us are too modest or insecure to even accept compliments, let alone see and use them for the useful and empowering nuggets of inspiration they are. How many times have you brushed off a kind comment or made some self-deprecating remark in response to a compliment? Stop downplaying the wonderfulness of you! Give yourself permission to bask in the warmth of your own sunshine and be open enough to allow others to do the same.

A true WMS knows how to graciously take a compliment and use them to fuel her confidence (not ego!). If enough people tell you your legs are great or you have amazing eyes you have a pretty good idea about what about you is most special. They'll also clue you in as too what colors look good on you or what styles really flatter your body. Listen and learn! And once you are clear about your best feature, own it with pride and work it confidence!


If you have a question you'd like answered email me at mass.seduction@yahoo.com

High Jinx on the High Seas

Join me for this fabulous time on the high seas where you'll learn to unleash the sensual you and still have plenty of time to network with some serious movers and shakers in the entertainment business, including mega successful publisher, Vicki Stringer, actress Sheryl Lee Ralph, radio personality, Egypt and others. Tandi Productions is donating a portion of the profits to breast cancer research, so come cruise with us knowing you're making a difference in the lives of others all the while you're having BIG fun. Book your cabin now and get ready for some high jinx on the high seas! For more information check out www.tandicruisegetaway.com

A Conversation With My Friend...Nina Foxx

My fellow Femme, Nina Foxx, is not only a prolific writer, she's queen of the media-tech geek squad (sexy, smart as hell, major shoe label geeks mind you, They don't call her "Foxx" for nothing). While the rest of us are just trying to figure out these blogs, she has started a series of podcasts called A Conversation With

Friends. I was lucky enough to be one of her first girl chats. Take a listen and then roll over to the The Vixen Chronicles to hear more from this frighteningly talented woman.

Listen now to our conversation.

In Stores Everywhere

After months (and sometimes years) of toil and struggle to turn ideas into words and get words onto paper, there are no better words than: "in stores everywhere!"

Okay, you're right, there are better words: "NY Times bestseller," "We want to make your book into a movie," "This is the best book I've ever read," "Mom, I'm so proud of you." But right now after all of the waiting for you to check it out and enjoy, "In stores everywhere," is perfect."

Now, if you wouldn't mind helping a sister out, here's how you can make those other words (bestseller for example) ring in a girl's ears.

1) Please buy a copy and enjoy it with joy in your heart and sunshine on your face. The sunshine on your face isn't just a line of prose, but also a request that you read in public! I know how you like to curl up with a good book in bed, but after reading and taking to heart the information inside WMS, you'll have better things to do in bed, so read in public so other people see it and decide they can't be left out and go buy their own copy. Get it? Sexy see, sexy do!

2) Please don't lend your copy,. Have folks buy their own or better buy them a copy as a gift. "I lent my book to 15 friends," are not words an author loves to hear. Mother's Day, birthday, happy bridal shower, happy divorce...all great occasions to make a gift of this book.

3) Get your book club to pick Weapons of Mass Seduction. Essence has for their 5000 members. Don't let those girls out charm you! This is perfect book club reading and with the tests in the back and the workshop as part of the storyline, your club can become bona fide bombshells as a group. Read the book and after a bit of discussion take the meeting to the club and get your flirt on.

4) As you're getting your new found flirt on, spread the word. Don't keep this secret all to yourself. Word-of-mouth is the best advertising. Tell your friends. Write a review on Amazon.

Please help me make this world a nicer place, one sexy you at a time!

Don Imus and Weapons of Mass Seduction

What the hell? I know you’re thinking, what could Weapons of Mass Seduction possibly have to do with, Don “who’s the ho now, sucker” Imus.

Bear with me as I try to get you all aboard this fleeting (but pertinent) train of thought.

I was watching the news this morning and of course, every other story is on Mr. Imus. First, can I tell you how VERY proud I am of not only those fine, intelligent, talented young women from Rutgers (they should have taken his ass to the hoop instead of just talking with him), but Essence editor Angela Burt-Murray. They were all smart, articulate, looked beautiful and held their own against some particularly loud and mouthy Imus supporters. Way to represent ladies!

So anyway, I’m watching the news and while I agree it was time for Imus to go, I also agree with the commentary of several guests, black and white, that we can not simply point the finger of blame at Imus without looking at the ways Black women are demeaned and devalued in the name of free speech and art, by our own people.

Yes, all true, but this discussion is out of place on a blog dedicated to sensuality and based on a book called Weapons of Mass Seduction, a book with a very sexy cover and title and has nothing to do with Don “frickin” Imus and a debate about respecting ourselves as a people, the reader thought, scratching her head in confusion.

Well, yes and no.

Yes, Weapons of Mass Seduction is a sensual and sexy read. It is light and enlightening. It is a fun romp through the lives of three very interesting women. It will make you laugh and make you cry and I promise you, you will walk away having learned something about yourself.

But the book is SMART and sexy. And as handsome Valen Bellamy, Pia Jamison’s love interest and candidate for the U.S. Senate, proves, Weapons of Mass Seduction is very germane and timely to day’s ‘nappy ho’ headlines.

Here's an abridged excerpt of their first meeting:

“Thank you all for coming this afternoon to discuss a crisis that has hit our communities as hard as obesity, high blood pressure, black-on-black crime and HIV/AIDS. Along with the super-sizing of our fast-food meals has come the super-sizing of our appetites for hyper-sexuality, violence and a blatant disrespect for ourselves and each other.

“Rappers boast about being the “spot smacker and favorite macker” while proudly promoting the image of the pimp as a flamboyant beacon of power, wealth and success. In bookstores, displayed beneath signs marked African-American Literature, are titles like Ghetto Azz, Thug Livin’, and Toxic Ho.

“Our young people are experiencing a whammy of ‘entertainment’ sources that glorify violence and dangerous sex practices to the detriment of our collective sense of self-respect. And this is why I’ve asked you all to join me today.

“This is a fact-finding mission to gather ideas and information to shape my campaign platform, ‘Respect Yourself. Be Respected.’ My hope is that through awareness, we can begin to reverse the negative cultural trends that are impacting our daily lives, for example, making heroines of women who make a living shaking their booties and servicing men who refer to them as his ‘tricks,’ ‘bitches,’ and ‘ho’s’.”

“I’m not a whore. I’m a model,” argued Jalese Chantal, a successful video girl. “For me, videos are a way to pay the bills while trying to advance my career.”

“Man, we’re selling a product…and everybody knows that sex sells everything else from cars to camera, why not music,” hip-hop artist, Playadoh added.

“Crack cocaine is a product. Shouldn’t we be policing ourselves when it comes to questionable and potentially harmful ‘products’?” the candidate queried.

Pia could see that Valen Bellamy was quickly losing his congenial charm as he delved into this issue. It was clear that he was impassioned by the subject, but his passion was putting his audience, including Pia, on the defense.

“Let’s not forget that we’re in the business of producing and selling fantasy and entertainment,” Alison Black replied.

“The key word being business –and one that follows trends,” video channel executive Toure Peterson added. “So if the consumer likes what’s being supplied and keeps asking for more, who are we to stop giving it to them? And by the way I think this whole hyper-sexuality thing will eventually burn out.”

“And while we wait for the trend to burn itself out, what about all the damage it’s causing now? Ms. Jamison, you in the business of producing these videos. What’s your take on the subject?”

“My take is that the issue goes so much deeper. It’s about how we raise our children. Accountability and positive self-imagery starts at home.”

“Which is why family values must be resurrected in our community,” Valen inserted.

At the sound of that loaded phrase, which now felt like a personal attack on her own morality, Pia could feel her liberal sensibilities surfacing and could not resist turning the discussion political.

“Despite the fact that politicians like yourself have tried to co-op and turn idea of ‘family values’ into a narrow discussion of conservative sensibilities, it does behoove us to get to the root of the problem, which is not how we are portrayed on videos or in books, but how we each portray ourselves on a daily basis.”

“And I don’t see how you can tell me that what our children consume as entertainment on a daily basis does not affect how they behave,” Valen shot back.

Was that a smirk? Did he just smirk at me? Pia wondered, feeling her ire rise. In her head, she heard the screeching sound of the brakes bringing an immediate halt to her initial attraction to this pompous ass.

“Around this table you have gathered together five black people, as if to say that respect or lack of respect is a problem only in our community."

“It cannot be disputed that the black family is in crisis,” Valen argued back. The others in the room were struck by the escalating debate between the two and sat back quietly watching the drama unfold.

“Mr. Bellamy, the entire American family is in crisis. And by you pandering to the Black and Hispanic vote by simply drawing more attention to our problems but with no plan of action or budget to help solve them, I find it difficult to see you as anything more than an opportunist.

Without action and money behind it, 'Respect Yourself. Be Respected.' will prove to be just as ineffective as that last Republican backed, slogan-only campaign, ‘Just Say No’.”

There’s that damn smirk again. He thinks I’m funny?

“It may not be perfect, Ms. Jamison, but it is a start at taking back the destructive images and lifestyle choices disguised as art, which demean people and women of color in a soul destroying manner. Images you and your industry must also be held accountable for.

“Until respect becomes something people—young and old alike—demand of themselves for themselves we will never be respected as a people and never be given the opportunities and credit we deserve for being contributing world citizens.”

“And when is the GOP going to start respecting itself and this country and its citizens? When are you and your political cronies going to stop trashing America’s image and its people so we can be respected by the rest of the world for the super power we are—and not because we demanded it by pointing a gun in someone’s face, but because we earned it by doing the world good?” Pia countered angrily.

“That is an entirely different discussion, Ms. Jamison. One I will gladly debate at another time, but as we are here to discuss the specific topic of images in the media, I’d respectfully ask you stay on topic.”

“It is clear that you are here not to listen to our opinions but to merely give us yours. So, if you will excuse me, I must get back to work. Know that our discussion today has given me cause to think about how I can better do my part on this issue. So perhaps this afternoon was not a total waste of my time.”

Pia gathered her things and quickly exited the room. Damn. It was truly disappointing to meet such an attractive and intelligent man and watch him turn into a total asshole because of his political views. If Valen Bellamy was the cliché personified of sex and politics making strange bedfellows thank goodness she was back to being celibate.



There’s some smart from WMS. Next time—some sexy.

Charming the Mr.

Today's post is for all you wives out there who have forgotten, lost or turned in your flirt card once you said, "I do."

I find that to a married woman's ears, the word 'flirting" has a negative ring to it. Most married women feel that even innocent flirting with other men is a taboo activity left to single women. But what's really sad is that they even stop flirting with their Mr. So let's flip the script and replace the word flirting, with all of its hussy baggage, with the word 'charm', as in charming your man.

It's not unusual for a woman to flirt in order to attract her man and then gradually dismiss her charming side as time, kids and familiarity take over. But every woman should keep her sensual, charming self active and alive. Why? Here are three great reasons:

1) To maintain your sexual relevance as time goes by. Age is no longer a threat to your sexual confidence.

2) Because sexual confidence gives you a sense of control over your own destiny. No more thinking, "No other man will ever want me."

3) To avoid the "intimacy" leak that siphons off marital passions.

Flirting with your husband is a crucial part of a married Weapon of Mass Seduction’s arsenal. Flirting helps keep romance and playfulness alive in your marriage. It should not stop at the altar, nor should it stop at your 25th wedding anniversary. Here are a few steps to get you back to your charming self.

First, develop your sensual persona.

Take time to reacquaint yourself with the sensual you and accept the incredible woman you are—as is, cellulite and all.

Learn to savor yourself, your life and your environment through your senses.

Define your new WMS status by finding and flaunting your five sensual signatures.

Second, turn up the charm.

Find your smile again. It’s amazing how often we don’t smile and a genuine smile is your most effective charming tool.

Practice. Waiters, gas station attendants, the deli guy. Be charming whenever the opportunity presents itself. The better you get the more powerful you’ll feel.

Take those charming feelings and focus on the things that initially attracted you to your husband.

Use those fun, charming moves on him when he least expects it. An unexpected compliment or smile out of the blue will do wonders.

Listen to him and laugh with him. Just as they do on his single brethren, the more he thinks you find him interesting, the more mysterious and alluring you’ll once again become to him.

Have fun and don’t take it all too seriously.

Confidence is Mother Nature's Push Up Bra

When it comes to defining your Signature Self (#5 on the WMS Must Have List) just look outside to see how it’s done.

Mother Nature is one sexy weapon of mass seduction. She's a chick who loves her unique attributes with no excuses and little compromise. She understands the perfection of imperfection. Watch and learn. Let her be your mentor.

Does her desert sister whine about the meadows getting all the flowers? Does she endlessly complain about her barren landscape or dusty tumbleweeds? No, she says “Love my sandy, cactus-strewn behind as it is because I am HOT. Here’s what I offer, find my beauty within or keep on stepping, trying to find that unattainable, perfect oasis. It's a mirage, you know.”

Does the snowy femme in her make excuses for being cold and icy?
No, she falls with gentle humility and grins as you turn breathless with the exquisite hush of her bounty. Some player haters may call her frigid, but they're the first to find themselves lying spread-eagle on her glistening white bosom gleefully making snow angels. Yeah, she's one cool number but you still can’t help but be in awe of the individuality found in each of her flakes.

Does the rose say, “Shazzam, I’d be one beautiful blossom if I didn’t have all these damn thorns. No. She says, “love me despite my bumpy stem,” and you can’t keep your nose out of her gorgeous buds.

Learn from the master.

Love your natural self in all your natural beauty. Make no excuses for your perceived imperfections. Become comfortable in your own skin—big butt, little boobs, cellulite, whatever. The reality is that you’re much more aware of them than those looking and ultimately you care about them much more than anyone else—including your man.

Take your cue from Mother Nature and emphasize your best features (we all have two or three) with your signature style, carry yourself with confidence, and then dare the world not to find you, thorns and all, absolutely FABULOUS!

What do you think?

Sexy Soccer Mom

I had a photo shoot for a national magazine yesterday and can I tell you something...it's hard work trying to be America's Next Top Model...particularly when having your picture taken has the same pleasure potential as a leg wax with a salt scrub chaser. It's painful.

This saga all began when I got an email from my publicist giving me the details for the shoot. They wanted to photograph me in my office and wanted the look and feel to be sexy and sophisticated. I could live with that. But the line that gave me pause was: "They want to portray you as a sexy soccer mom."

Okay, now I do consider myself to be sexy woman and I am definitely a proud soccer mom, have been since my son was four, but "sexy soccer mom" is not a tag I'd wear on my lapel. I don't do sexy on the sidelines. In fact, sexy is the last thing I'm thinking about as I'm screaming out things like, "push up" or "man on, man on" or "goaaaaaaaal" (though now that I see it in print, it does sound kind of sexy, but let's keep it all in context, shall we).

All this to say that right from the gitgo, their label was making me nervous.

Anyway, I get to the shoot with the wardrobe they'd asked me to bring--pencil skirt, simple top and high, high heels. Not a problem. My closet is full of those very items. I also packed up a signature charm bracelet and four pairs of my favorite CFM heels. Not so soccer momish, I think. Very me. I can do this, I decide. Then the photographer and makeup artist take a look at my selection.

"I thought it was supposed to be a sexy shoot." I overheard him say.

"It will be once I'm in them," I interjected from the next room. He laughed. I sounded all confident and in charge, but his comment definitely threw me and shook my resolve.

"Hey, where's my champagne split with a straw?" I joked, thinking a nice buzz would ease my nerves. I got water. I guess it wasn't that kind of shoot.

Professional makeup should help. It took the make up artist twenty minutes just to set up and when I got to the table there were, no lie, at least 40 different items laid out. Hmm, no wonder Halle Berry looks so damn good, I think. My cosmetic bag contains five items and I use every one--MAC Studio fix, blush, concealer, mascara and lipstick. Putting on make up for me takes ten minutes top.

First, she rolled my hair in curlers and then led me over to the stool. I sat down and she proceeded to dip and dab and mix and brush and swirl her custom coverage on my face. I just sat back and let her do her thing until she pulled out the false eyelashes. Oh hell no. I am not Tammye Faye Baker, bless her soul.

"Are those really necessary?" I asked.

"They'll give you a sexy eye for the camera," she responded.

I don't do false eyelashes so I didn't realize that until the glue dries they weigh a ton. All I knew was that I could barely open my eyes and "sexy soccer mom' suddenly felt like a drag queen. Painted and powered and with my eyelids falling shut, she led me back to the hair chair and proceeded to remove the curlers and style my hair.

Did I mention there is no mirror around? I had no idea what I looked like. But I felt pampered and celebrified, so I was happy. The photographer was ready. His light was perfect. Time to get dressed and on set. Then I see my reflection in the mirror. I look glammed up for sure, but it was so not me. I didn't feel comfortable and if I didn't feel comfortable, no way sexy and sophisticated was going to come across. So I cashed in a diva chip---you know, in a nice soccer mom kind of way.

"Umm, this look isn't working for me."

We compromised on the lashes and a hot flat iron and fifteen minutes later I was on set.

"Give me sexy." "That line is too straight. Can you bend your legs that way?" "Roll on that hip more." "Sit down." "Stand up." "Be sexy." "Make up." Cross your legs." "Smile." "Don't smile." "Not so big." "More smile." "Be beautiful." "Turn here." "Sexy. Hot." "Turn there." "Change your clothes." "Give it to me." "Do something different." "Give me something more." "Come on, you're sexy, show me."

Three hours later, I'm tired, hungry and bored. He's got amazing light and renewed imagination. "I need something different and sexy."

Diva chip number two definitely delivered with more attitude. "Man, I gave you all the sexy I had three hours ago. Right now, it's about getting the lucky shot."

A few clicks later and "that's a wrap."

What's the moral of this story? It's twofold: First, you can't wear someone else's label of who you are and expect to feel confident and comfortable. Sexy isn't a costume you pull on and off and it can't be someone else's vision of what sexy looks or feels like for you. If your look isn't authentic then you're forcing yourself into an artifical role, and I don't know about you but that's not a good look for me. My faux "sexy soccer mom" look was determined by an art director and makeup person. Who is determining yours? Celebrities and models? Fashion designers? Your man? Your girlfriends? Or do you decide your own sexy style?

Secondly, sexy on demand is unnatural and uninspired. It doesn't matter what someone else's expectations of you are, if you aren't feeling it, you can't work it. So always, to thine own self be true. Only then will the true WMS in you shine.

What do you think?

Why Settle for So So Sex?

I saw this in O Magazine and thought it was definitely worth passing on.

“We settle for so-so sex because most of us don’t know how sexual we could be; we only know how sexual we are. How sexual we are has been shaped by decades of indoctrination by…family and friends, teachers, religious leaders and romantic partners, not to mention a society that worships a bewildering fusion of childlike sexual innocence and cynical, nilhilistic hedonism…So what is normal? It all depends on what is normal for you.”

Anita Clayton, MD with Robin Cantor-Cooke, in Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy (Ballentine)

Find your 'normal' and rock on!

#4 A Genuine Smile is Power

Okay, 'fess up while no body's looking. How often do you display EBS (evil bitch syndrome), probably without even meaning too? How many times has some man said hello or called out a compliment (not in a rude or obnoxious way but sincerely and appreciatively) and you've rolled your eyes, sucked your teeth, given him your "no you didn't" look, and kept on walking like he'd just said you had ashy ankles?

Come on. You know you've done it. I mean, why give him the time of day because after all, he is not the package you're looking for, especially because he's carrying the package you've been waiting for. He's not Mr. Right or even Mr. Right now. He's just a guy with his name on his shirt, who has the nerve to pay you a compliment. Bastard! What can Brown do for me? Not a damn thing!

I see women treat well meaning strangers this way time after time and then wonder why a good and attentive man is so damn hard to find, and don't understand why men think women can be so stuck up and full of 'tude. And again, most of us don't even realizing we're showing signs of EBS.

Okay, he may not be the one, but a true Weapon of Mass Seduction realizes that flattering comments from a man who just wants to let you know he recognizes quality when he sees it, is just another opportunity to practice letting loose her devastatingly genuine power smile and bask in some unexpected admiration.

Here's what flirt coach, Joey Clements has to say on the subject.

“We really don’t pay much attention to how much we don’t smile. And what’s most amazing about that is smiling is our most effective calling card; a free and easy spirit lifter; and a sure fire antidote to negative energy. A genuine smile is power. With it you can change another person’s entire mood and perspective."

You need to develop and practice your devastating grin so when the Mr. Damn! Schazaam! enters your orbit, EBS doesn't kick in by default. Smiles are like yawns--they're contagious. And a WMS wants to infect as many folks as possible. A smile makes you look friendly, confident and approachable and the other person feels more at ease. And if he’s feeling comfortable, he's bound to be more receptive and interested in you.

And remember the oh so important law of attraction: like energy attracts like energy. So if you insist on walking around breaking out in Evil Bitch Syndrome just because you can, expect to attract men with Nasty Attitude Complex, growling right back at you. You know what they say about birds of a feather...

Try this exercise: For the rest of this week pay constant attention to your facial
expression and practice smiling. If you’re waiting in the cashier line, smile. When you
pass strangers on the street, smile. Smile when you notice a beautiful flower or the clear
blue sky. Make it a habit and soon you will find yourself not only happier and more
persuasive but on the receiving end with greater frequency.

What do you think?

Next Entry: Being your Sensual Self.

Valentines Day...A Rebuttle

I had to post this rebuttle from my dear friend and fellow Femme, author Carmen Green. I personally have a stomach ache and my nose hurts from laughing up coffee through my nose (you'll see why). I love the girl, but she's whacked out. Do you hear me? Whacked. She does make touring all the more interesting. I've also posted some of the comments about my post that appeared on Nina Foxx's (another Femme) blog. Enjoy and check out CarmenSays and the Vixen Chronicles and then if you still feel like reading mosey over to the Femme Fantastik Blog

WARNING: DO NOT CONSUME LIQUIDS WHILE READING THIS BLOG ENTRY.

Happy V-Day--Yeah Right
Good Valetine's Day to all my attached sista and brotha's friends. I'm really happy for you. I'm still single, but happy. Mhmm. Living my life like's it's Golden as Jill Scott said to do, Recognizing A Woman's Worth, per Alicia Keys, and yes, I heard Fantasia when she said, I Ain't Gon' Beg You, and realized I wasn't the woman in Good Mourning, by my girl India.Arie.

I don't have a man but I still felt the need for Valentine's Day presents. Since I watched the Montel Williams show earlier this month and LL Cool J was a guest, he said if you stay off your vice for 21 days you'll kick it, so I decided to kick candy. Okay, I've heard this before, but when LL tells you something and then licks his lips, well. . .I mean goodness, it's memorable.

So here's my confession: My name is Carmen and I'm a sugaraholic--cheap candy like Smarties and Swedish Fish are my weakness. It's been 11 days since my last fix. Yes, there are tears in my eyes. Withdrawl is a bitch!So anyway back to why I'm so bitter--ly happy for all of you coupled people. I believe in celebrating holidays sans a man, so I went out and bought myself a teddy bear, some cake mix and a flower. No, I wasn't using them all at the same time, but whatever to you pervs out there.

I came home, had a cupcake, threw the rest away, put on India.Arie and danced with my six inch bear with my flower in my hair. Then I decided to read my email. Who knows. Maybe someone saw me dancing and wanted me for a video. Even I'm laughing at that.

I have to say this first. I love my friends. I think they hate me. My sista-friend, in the trenches, need some hardcore advice givin', I will dial 911 really fast if a man in a bad wig is following you through Nordstrom's about to rob you, travelin' the world with you, dear Femme Fantastik friend Lori Bryant-Woolridge sends me some hater mail. Yes, dammit, I said it right, hater mail. I was shocked. My slim-fast bar fell from my mouth. What had I done to illicit mail that began,Weapons of Mass Seduction, Unleashing the Sensual You. It's kind of like the record Chante's Got a Man at Home.

What the Hell?? Don't brag **tch. The rest of us got bears, but we ain't singin about it!I looked at the bear and said, "You squeal that my orange polka pajama top and checkered blue bottoms don't match?" The bear fell over. Bastard.

Lori's note to me is below and once you read it, you will understand my replies. WMS Rules for Creating A Red Hot Night by Lori Bryant Woolridge'

Tis the season for creating Red Hot Nights for romance and I thought I'd pass on some red hot rules for sensual entertaining. Every Weapon of Mass Seduction knows that:

1) To Thine Own Self Be True. At the core of a truly sensual woman is confidence in her authentic self. The evening you create should be driven first by your own comfort and enjoyment.

Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: To Thine Own Self Be True--plan for major orgasms alone. Clean all vibrators.

Lori- 2) Senses Rule. Every aspect of your special evening should be planned according to your senses. Every sight, sound, smell, taste and touch should be pleasurable.

Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Senses Rule-snap a pair of worn panties on your head. Intoxicating!

Lori-3) Anticipation is Everything. Stay one step ahead. Maintain the mystery and you'll surely maintain your lover's interest (and gratitude)!

Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Anticipation is Everything-The batteries don't hold enough charge for all night loving. Buy more! And stay one step ahead--lock the damn door. The kids don't need to see you smackin' your own ass.

Lori-4) Drown Yourself in Pleasure. Not libations or food. You will negate all of your hard work and pleasure if you allow yourself or your lover to drink or eat too much.

Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Drown Yourself in Pleasure-Don't shower and prove you got a lover to the haters at work. Just wear more perfume, baby.

Lori-5) Be Flexible. Anticipation will bring your evening alive. Expectations will kill it. Remember one of the joys of living a sensual life is living in the moment and reveling in life as it comes. Plan your evening and then see where it takes you.

Carmen's Rebuttal for the Single Sista's: Be Flexible-You got skills, use 'em. The knee over the belly fat orgasm, priceless!

Lori Says-A Red Hot Night is an amazing way to celebrate Valentines or a birthday or anniversary, but what makes a night like this really hot, is when it comes out of the blue for no reason other than to make your lover feel special.

Carmen's Rebuttal-Yeah, what the hell ever. Happy dag-on Valentine's Day.

Valentines Day Rules for A Red Hot Night

Tis the season for creating Red Hot Nights for romance and I thought I'd pass on some red hot rules for sensual entertaining.

1) To Thine Own Self Be True. At the core of a truly sensual woman is confidence in her authentic self. The evening you create should be driven first by your own comfort and enjoyment.

2) Senses Rule. Every aspect of your special evening should be planned according to your senses. Every sight, sound, smell, taste and touch should be pleasurable.

3) Anticipation is Everything. Stay one step ahead. Maintain the mystery and you'll surely maintain your lover's interest (and gratitude)!

4) Drown Yourself in Pleasure. Not libations or food. You will negate all of your hard work and pleasure if you allow yourself or your lover to drink or eat too much.

5) Be Flexible. Anticipation will bring your evening alive. Expectations will kill it. Remember one of the joys of living a sensual life is living in the moment and reveling in life as it comes. Plan your evening and then see where it takes you.

A Red Hot Night is an amazing way to celebrate Valentines or a birthday or anniversary, but what makes a night like this really hot, is when it comes out of the blue for no reason other than to make your lover feel special.




WMS advertisement: Learn how to 'host' a red hot night from invite to decadent dining ideas in Weapons Of Mass Seduction, A Novel to Unleash the Sensual You. It really is a how-to flirt manual in a novel.

Imagine...Happy Valentines Day

This poem was written by a good friend of mine. I thought it was a perfect love poem to share with you and hand copied on a beautiful, scented card, a beautiful poem to share with your loved one. Have a great Valentines Day and remember, love yourself.


Imagine

see me
but not with your eyes
touch me
but not with your hands
hear me
but not with sound

imagine the possibilities
if you let your soul be unbound
finding me
when I’m neither lost or found

can you imagine the possibilities
like me?
I imagine you to be
so into me
that you’re apart of me
allowing me
to be me
and my soul runs free

and impossibility becomes sweet reality
as I can feel you without being felt
smell your fragrance without any scent
taste you without you ever present
and when you are next to me
you’re even that much more delicious

when you speak
the words I love you
are written within my palms
and when your heart beats
it sweetly speaks a rhythm
that sings love psalms

when I imagine the possibilities
your left eye is my sun
while your right eye is my moon
and when you look at me
I’m living within love’s eclipse
surrounded by soft touches, wet kisses
and eternal bliss

Ted Bell

#3 Your Signature Style

Sometimes, it’s the small and very personal things—shoes, jewelry or fragrance—that make you feel sensually unique and become lingering clues to your inimitable personality.

Every sensual weapon of mass seduction should have their own personal style. Know yours and dress and accessorize to express it. This includes everything from a signature piece of jewelry to your signature cocktail.

Here are a few steps to get you started.

1) Know your body as it is, not as you wish it were. Not like you imagine to be, and not how you intend it to be in the future (I still have an entire section of my closet full of stuff I’m going to get into). Understand your best attributes (those great eyes or sexy shoulders or slamming legs) because those are the things you’re going to dress to highlight. Just as important, know your ‘perceived” body flaws. Every woman’s got them, whether it’s cellulite, flabby arms, a minuscule bust or saddle bag thighs. I say perceived because if your body met the current beauty standards, you’d look like a twelve year-old boy naked and what’s so damn perfect about that. We’re women. We’re supposed to be curvy and swervy and soft.

3) Next take a quiet Friday night or Saturday afternoon and sit down with a stack of fashion magazine and catalogues. I’d avoid Vogue and all the high-fashion tomes because who really wants to strut around the streets wearing thick black lines under their eyes and a birdcage on their head. (Ladies, there’s a difference between personal style and crazy lady style) No, the more you can look at real women in real clothes the better. Tear out all the outfits that catch your eye. What you’ll find is that there is a certain look that you are drawn to. Now define that look for yourself in your own words. Is your preferred look elegant and tailored? Maybe funky but elegant. Feminine and sweet? Are you drawn to bold color or muted tones? Do you like classic looks or trendy pieces.

Discover the look you like and then head out to the stores and begin pulling similar looks in styles that flatter and highlight your positives and camouflage your negatives.

4) Find accessories that are unique and say YOU. I love high heels, shawls and wraps (it's the drama they create) and interesting evening bags (my favorite--a $5 coconut shell). And don't be afraid to wear them in ways other than intended. I have no problem wearing a necklace as a belt or visa versa. I love to create charm bracelets because they are unique to me and always catch people’s attention. They’ve become my signature piece of jewelry and whether it’s just one charm or a jingling bracelet of several I nearly always have one on. And damn it, I feel charming wearing them.

And don’t be afraid to extend this to your social style. Why be just another women sitting at a bar sipping a pink cocktail. Scour the bartender books and find a drink that becomes your distinctive version of ‘the usual.’

5) Every WMS should own at least one pair of CFM shoes. Nothing can make you look sexier than a great pair of heels or less sexy than a matronly pair of Aerosoles. Even if you can’t walk in stilettos, find a great, sexy pair of kitten heels in which to strut your stuff.

Your clothes, shoes and accessories all should all work together to tell the world that you are a woman to be noticed and admired, and most importantly should make you feel great about being you every time you step out because that's when a true WMS shines.

What do you think?

Next entry: Your WMS Smile

We Interrupt Our Scheduled Programming...

FOR SOME AMAZING NEWS!

Please excuse me while I do my happy dance! "GO Lori, GO Lori!" Okay. I've just learned that the release date for Weapons of Mass Seduction has been moved up to April 17th. Why? I can't tell you the reason yet, but it's great, amazing, huge news. I'll let you know as soon as I am able, but this early release means you'll be able to greet the summer as a the sensual flirty new you. Summer vacation will never be the same! Stay tuned...

So I promise this week, I'll finish up that list of five things every WMS have, but right now I gotta dance!

# 2 WMS Must Have: A Signature Symbol

Along with her unforgettable scentuality, every WMS should have her own signature symbol or trademark icon. Companies brand their image with logos so consumers can pick them out in a crowd, so why shouldn’t you? Anything that makes you stand out is a good thing.

What exactly is a signature symbol?

It is something you can see and touch that connects you with your sensual, unique self, reminds you of the woman you are striving to be, and gives the rest of the world a hint of who you are. Lots of power packed into such a little thing.

Where do I find my signature symbol?

What I suggest to women is to try to identify a particular shape, word, or for lack of a more descriptive word, thing that you have always been drawn to. Maybe it's an orchid or circle or the moon or ocean or a cloud or an open eye. For me it was the sun, mainly with faces.

For years, without really realizing it, I’ve been drawn to and collecting images of the sun on everything from vases to beach towels. When I designed my first business card again, I unconsciously picked out a sun image as the 'logo'. One day I was flipping through a book on dream symbols and came across the sun. After the reading the definition I was amazed by how much I felt it defined me and my outlook on life. Right there I adopted it as my official icon. I now wear it on charm bracelets and around my neck. It adorns my stationary and my office walls. It’s on my website and if you get a greeting card from me, most likely it will have a sun on it or sun confetti falling out of it.

It never fails that someone notices and comments on my signature symbol and it really does make me feel unique and warm and is a constant reminder of the kind of woman I want to be: A woman who takes responsibility for making her own sunshine, and who is open and generous enough to allow others to bask in it as well. This knowledge of myself informs what I do and how I do it.

So think about the shape or symbol you’ve always been drawn to. You don’t have to worry what someone else tells you it means, just recognize what positive emotions it brings out in you and let those feelings influence the way you see yourself and the way you behave. Define yourself for the rest of the world and then let them get to know and love the sensual woman within.

What do you think?

Next Entry: Your signature style (Unless of course something else pops up!)

PMS Jewelry

I'm crazy busy at the moment and haven't been able to get away to write about finding your Signature Symbol, but I promise I will. In the meantime, enjoy this hilarious joke.

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring theother day, so he would be able to monitor my moods.We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin' red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Doing the Laundry WMS Style

As I stated previously, living through your senses is what brings pleasure to everyday chores. Scroll down to the bottom and see how doing the wash the Weapons of Mass Seduction way is sure to brighten up your day. Enjoy!

Scentuality

Every WMS needs a signature scent. Finding a perfume you love and wearing it regularly (regularly being the key word) is a good and important step towards creating your unique sensual style. For you, it's a quick way to lift your spirits and arouse your sensuality and confidence, while for the people who get near you, it's a gentle indication of who you are and for those who are interested, it's lingering memory of an unforgettable woman.

Right now I'm obsessed with rose scent. I am still in search of a perfume that's right for me but I do wear Rose Petals body oil by Skin Love. It smells just like it advertises--romantic and sensual. I also like Rosewater hand therapy by Crabtree and Evelyn. Other than this current scent obsession, I generally wear two fragrances, depending on where I'm going and what mood I'm in. For daytime and casual wear I spritz on my current favorite L'Eau Par Kenzo. It's light and sexy and makes me feel flirty and playful. When I'm going formal or on occasions when I want to feel elegant and sophisticated, I wear Chanel No. 19. It makes me feel sensual and mysterious. You know--grown and sexy. I can feel my persona change when I have it on. I used to wear Issey Miyake but stopped when I noticed I was smelling myself everywhere. When a scent becomes too popular that's one a WMS wants to avoid.

Notice I say that each fragrance makes me feel a particular way. Even though fragrance is mostly about your sense of smell, all of your senses work together to inform your emotional state. And fragrance definitely has an effect on your mood and behavior.

Choosing the scent you like enough to be your signature fragrance can be difficult because there are so many available to choose from. It should definitely correspond to your individual personality and style, but if you haven't quite gotten figured it out yet, use the designers and celebrities as a clue. Find one whose style sensibilities are close to yours and start there.

To further assist you, I've included a fragrance test I pulled off the Internet. It's a fun way to think about your personal preferences, which will help you not only with picking your scentual signature, but your overall sensual style.


Perfect Scents
Discover your signature fragrance
By Heidi Rehak

Perfume is more than a dab or spritz as part of our morning ritual. We love knowing we smell pleasing to others, we admire the beautifully crafted bottles and packages our favorite scents come in, and we feel chic knowing we're wearing the latest "It" designer - even in liquid form.
But if you have yet to find your personal scent, or are looking to expand your fragrance wardrobe, the following quiz might be a handy drop of inspiration.

1. Your favorite color pairing is:
A. Yellow and orange
B. Red and gold
C. Green and brown
D. Pink and purple

2. Which herbal tea can most often be found in your cup?
A. Lemon Zinger
B. Jasmine
C. Green
D. Vanilla Almond

3. Your fantasy vacation would take you to:
A. The English countryside
B. An open-air market in Morocco
C. The redwood forest
D. A tropical island

4. You just might come back in your next life as a:
A. Butterfly
B. Black cat
C. Horse
D. Dog

5. Your most recent clothing or accessory splurge was:
A. Crock-print mules in a bright color
B. Sparkly, beaded bangles
C. Khaki pants
D. A pink cashmere sweater

6. Your favorite winter activity is:
A. Visiting a warm locale to soak in some sun
B. Skiing in the Swiss Alps
C. Building a snowperson
D. Snuggling with your honey under a down comforter

7. The perfect gift from your significant other would be:
A. A spa gift certificate
B. Sexy lingerie
C. A surprise picnic in the park
D. A bouquet of flowers

8. Your favorite restaurant serves which type of food?
A. Italian
B. Asian or Indian
C. Barbecue
D. Nouvelle cuisine

9. The type of music you adore most is:
A. Classical
B. World music
C. Rock
D. Jazz

10. Your signature outfit is:
A. Flirty skirt and beaded top
B. Something glittery, form-fitting and low cut
C. Warm-up suits or anything made from polar fleece
D. A long, loose, flowing dress in silk or linen

Scoring:
Add up the total number of times you chose letters A, B, C and D. Your fragrance style corresponds to the letter you chose most frequently.

A
Your perfume profile: Citrus/fruity
You love the tangy essence of fresh-squeezed juice, a wedge of lemon or ripe pears. Fruity fragrances are perfect for active women shuttling between the office, a Pilate's class and home, since they're usually light, crisp and not overpowering.
Try: Clinique Happy To Be; DKNY Perfume; Victoria Secret Breathless; and Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue.

B
Your perfume profile: Exotic
Vanilla, fresh-mulled cider, a pepper mill, cinnamon and nutmeg are some of your favorite aromas. These fragrances are usually perceived as sexy and powerful because of the high doses of intriguing and pungent ingredients that they contain, such as musk, sandalwood and caramel.
Try: Yves Saint Laurent Opium; Tom Ford's Black Orchid; Clinique Aromatics Elixer Velvet Sheer; and Juicy Couture.

C
Your perfume profile: Outdoorsy
Herbs, pine trees, a cedar chest and spring rain are all scents that lure you in. Since they contain so many green notes (patchouli, pine, basil and juniper), woodsy perfumes are ideally suited for those who work outside - or those who dream of hiking in the forest
Try: Marc Jacobs Splash-Ivy; Elizabeth Arden Green Tea Intense; Calvin Klein CK One Electric; and Escada Into the Blue.

D
Your perfume profile: Romantic
You love the scent of a spring garden in bloom, a bouquet of roses or a lavender sachet. Florals are one of the most popular fragrance categories because of their ultra-feminine appeal. However, lest you think that all florals smell sweet and girlie, know that they can range in complexity from single-note scents, like pure rose, to fruity or spicy blends.
Try: Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely; Chanel No. 5; Lancome Mille & Une Roses; Stella in Two Peony; and Estee Lauder Pleasures by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Now get out there and start turning up some noses!

Next Entry: Your Signature Trademark

Your Sensual Signature: Five Things Every WMS Should Own

We've all been there. You know, you and the girls decide to go out and hang for a while so you get all dolled up and hit the town. You're sitting in a place minding your own business, thinking you're looking cute and hoping someone else is going to think so too. And then here she comes. Ms. Thing. She sashays confidently into the room oblivious that all eyes, including yours, are on her. She's wearing the perfect little black dress (the one you've been searching for but always see on some other woman's back) and struts over to the bar in a way that makes every body part sway with come-hither appeal. It's a walk that brings men to her side and sends women into private places to practice. You feel both jealousy and admiration towards this diva. Talk about paling by comparison. Suddenly you don't feel so cute. And of course, the biatch sits down right next to you and instead of ordering a Cosmo like every other girl in the room, asks for some drink you've never heard of.

On closer inspection you see that she's more striking than beautiful. More sensuous than sexy. Of course, within minutes some Chris Rock looking guy is elbowing you out of the way to get to her. You watch her handle the admirer, graciously accepting his compliments with a you're-so-sweet-but-this-is never-going-to-happen smile and sending him back to his friends thinking he's Denzel Washington. You realize then that they key to her irresistible charm is confidence. This is a woman who is totally at ease with herself. A woman to study and emulate, not envy.

She has that undefinable "it" and you want it too. But how? Where do you start?

Most true WMS take great pride in their individual sensuality. They have, through trial and error and dedicated effort, honed a look and air about them that is unique and memorable. It's the little things that they do or say or wear that make them stand out in a crowd. And because they aren't trying to be like everyone else, being themselves can never be wrong.

So how do you cultivate your own sensual signature? My suggestion would be to start with the following list of five things that IMHO, every WMS should own and make part of their everyday existence. Each item on this list, first and foremost, should remind YOU that you are a confident, unique, sensual woman and by default the rest of the world will realize this too. And make a note: these are not items found on the 'what's hot' or trend lists of the season, but rather carefully considered 'finds' that define you.


1. Signature Scent. Every WMS should have her own scentuality. It's a sweet lasting impression that will linger long after you've gone.

2. Signature Symbol. Just like companies brand their products so should you. Identify your special trademark icon and share it with the world.

3. Signature Style. Know your personal style and dress and accessorize to express yourself. This includes everything from a signature accessory to your signature cocktail. And very WMS should own at least one pair of CFM shoes. Nothing can make you look more sexy than a great pair of heels or less sexy than a matronly pair of Aerosoles.
.
4. Signature Smile. You'd be surprised how much you don't smile and you should as it's your most effective seduction tool.

5. Sense of self. Woman know thyself, love you, live your truth and make no excuses.

Let's be clear. These are not things you put in your trick bag and bring out for special occasions. These are things you build your sensual persona around, the things people come to know you by. These are your personal touches that make you stand out in the crowd and mark you as a woman who knows and likes herself. You're not trying to dress up and play at being a sensual woman. You are owning your unique sensuality and therefore simply being irresistible you.

So take a minute to think about the list in general and then on the next few entries, we'll discuss each one individually.

Next entry: Scentuality