Joan Collins Has A Point

Eighties diva, Joan Collins, caused quite a stir recently when she announced that while Angelina Jolie was "gorgeous" her tabloid nemesis, Jennifer Aniston was "cute, but I wouldn't call her beautiful."

You know, I have to agree with her, and frankly, while everyone else seemed to turn Joan's comments into one great big diss, I don't see it that way. I think her comparison was exactly right.

Everything about Jennifer Aniston screams cute. Her look is safe, approachable and right from the good girl next door style rack. Her personality and personal charisma, or at least that which is revealed to the public, is sweet, endearing, and slightly guarded. Jen's brand of sexy is natural and cute, and the combination makes the men in her life want to take care of her, even though it's obvious since her split from Mr. Pitt that she's quite capable of looking after herself.

Angelina, on the other hand, has a personal style and charisma that is bigger,riskier and much more outwardly sultry and sexy than Jen's. Her life and lifestyle do appear to be more fully expressed and glamorous. Her look is hot and, well, gorgeous. Angie's brand of sexy is smoking hot, which can be as exciting as it can be intimidating to the shy guy.

Where I think Joan Collins went wrong, was in comparing the two women and making comments that made it sound like one look was better than the other. What Joan failed to realize is that each woman is working her natural strengths, owning her look and true charisma and living her life.

Follow the example of both of these lovely ladies. Own your unique brand of secy and do you.

Five Tips for Great Sex

Check out my interview on lovingyou.com You'll find my five sensual, sensible, doable, and oh so enjoyable tips on on how add a little umph! to your love life. Let me know what you think! Happy loving!!

How to Create A Sexy Bedroom

I saw this video on AOL and thought you might be interested. The importance of creating a sensual haven for you and yours to escape, dream, recharge and reconnect, can't be overstated. Enjoy!

What's Your Exit Line?

Take note, Washington, D.C., we unleashed a beautiful bevy of friendly flirts this past weekend! Thank you Secret Pleasures!

One of the comments that came up during the workshop was from a lovely single mother who said she didn't like to flirt because she didn't know how to turn off the attention from men she was not interested in. As a result, she'd shut down her charm offense totally, but admitted to missing her flirty side.

I constantly stress to my Stiletto University students is that "You can't be that woman if you can't handle that woman." When you unearth and share with the world your unique personality, energy and style, you can't help but attract attention. Some from admirers you will covet, and some attention from those you don't.

Attracting attention, good or bad, is the nature of the charming beast. IMHO, putting a cap on your feminine fizz is not an option, so learning how to deal with the overflow is important. The first thing to remember is that the majority of admirers are simply gifting you with their positive attention,so even though you may not be interested, they still deserve your courtesy and appreciation for doing what you want the world to do anyway--notice you. You need to send them on their way as pleasantly as possible (don't forget that someone else might be watching). So perfect an exit line that saves their ego and applauds their good taste.

My go-to, (and most effective) exit line is: "Thank you so much, you have made my night, but my husband really gets upset when I date." I deliver it with a killer smile and make my exit.

For the totally obnoxious who simply won't take a hint, I simply excuse myself, saying "I have to call home," walk away and exit to the ladies room or join a group conversation where he will be reluctant to follow.

Be friendly, be firm and continue being flirty. Si find your exit line and get out there and handle your business!

Join Me at These D.C. Events

If you're in the D.C. area, please join me for these following events. Invite a friend and come get your sexy on!

Sept. 9- 7:00 PM Secret Pleasures Presents A Weapons of Mass Seduction Workshop
JoJo Restaurant and Bar, 1518 U Street, NW (at N 15th Street), Washington, DC

The ability to charm and disarm will take you far in life. Learn the no-fail basics of how to S.E.L.L. yourself in whether in a room full of strangers or just you and you significant other in the comfort of your own home.


Sept. 11- 4:00 pm Secret Pleasures Hosts An Erotic Reading and Discussion
Secret Pleasures, 1510 U Street, NW, Washington, DC

Unleash the your inner erotic diva at this sexy but always tasteful reading and discussion of Can't Help The Way That I Feel.

Check Out My Interview on Eden Fantasys

I want to share this interview with you because it was one of my favorites, mainly because all of the questions came from real people and not reporters. I loved the range of questions asked--everything from sex and religion to growing up multicultural to my writing muses, and thought they were amazingly intelligent and thought provoking. Enjoy!

Join the Conversation

Eden Fantasys is a great site for toys and information about all things sexual. This month I am featured in their community interview and am taking questions about any and everything ranging from sensuality, sexuality, race and writing. Please click on the link above, scroll down to Sex Community Update and ask your question and if it's one of the three favorites, you will win a copy of Can't Help the Way That I Feel and a gift certificate to use on Eden Fantasys. You can ask your questions until July 20th. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Friends You Should Have - AOL Health

I've always said that women make us good at who we are. I hope you find this article helpful in cleaning out relationship closet, which by the way, we all need to do every now and again.

Friends You Should Have - AOL Health

Essence.com Adds Can't Help to their Sizzling Summer Reading List

Ladies, even Essence Magazine recognizes a good dare, when it reads it! Essence.com has chosen my new anthology Can't Help The Way That I Feel, as one of their hot reads for the summer. So before you head off on your vacation, make sure you give into temptation and get your copy to bring along. I guarantee it will make your summer sizzle!

Frisky Friday: Sexy Summer Reading

Why Women Are Actually Thinner Than They Think

WHEW!! What a great bit of much needed news! Click on the link below and find out woman in the mirror is much hotter than you think!!

Why Women Are Actually Thinner Than They Think

Sex and the City 2--A WMS Don't

I loved the Sex and the City television series on HBO. It featured smart, sexy, flawed individuals who truly understood the importance friendship between females. There is nothing more important to the development of true feminine confidence than a nonjudgmental friend who not only allows you but encourages you to be you with all of your glorious flaws and imperfections. A woman who doesn't compete with you but rather compliments your version of sexy and smart. I've said it before, women make other women good at who they are.

Sex in the City was a cheerleader for female empowerment--women taking charge of their sex and love lives and living them both with the scandal that can come with living one's own truth. I found them to be fabulous--not because of their fashion or fame or fortunes, but because of the way they walked through life (in stilettos of course!) on their own terms. But in SATC2 these women have fallen off their fierce girls pedestal and are floundering. They have forgotten all of the lessons they spent years teaching us and are looking more and more like aging women desperately clinging to their youth.

I wanted to love this movie but spent most of the two hours plus feeling annoyed and offended. It started out well but then went steadily downhill. No real story, weak dialogue (Carrie's puns were so lame it was embarrassing) a lot of stupid whining (between crying baby Rose and baby Charlotte, I was ready to walk), and ridiculous, out of place fashion choices (seriously, who walks sand dunes and rides camels in stiletto heels? And who bares their porcelain white chest and shoulders or covers them in huge, metal bibs in blazing desert heat?).

But what really irritated me most was the incredibly stupid, disrespectful and obnoxious way these intelligent, worldly women behaved while in Abu Dhbai. All were annoying in some form, but Samantha's behavior is totally outrageous, and not in a good way. She, a public relations expert, no less, is completely disrespectful to the culture, laws, and religious sensibilities of the country she is visiting and hopefully will be representing. She dresses and acts inappropriately (grabbing a man's penis in full view of other guests, holding up a gross of condoms in the souk and screaming "Yes, I love sex," to a throng of conservative, Muslim men), and portrays the ugly American to perfection.

This movie is not WMS friendly because truly confident, sexy women understand that respect for other people and their beliefs is hot, while ignoring them in pursuit of your own selfish pleasure is not. Additionally, Samantha, with her 40 plus pills a day to trick her body into being young, has become a desperate parody of her former self. A seasoned woman is sexy because she is confident enough to quietly go after what she wants with style and elegance. She doesn't need to compete with younger women by wearing the same clothes, just because they fit, because ultimately she ends up looking older and more insecure than they do. What Samantha doesn't seem to understand is that yes, her insistence on letting everyone know within earshot that she's game for a fuck, does make her appear younger, but in all the wrong ways. Instead of looking worldly and self assured, she looks like every other young girl who thinks that a reputation for putting out is what makes her sexy and popular with the boys. It's a troubling perspective at any age, but Samantha just looks old and desperate because at 52, she should know better.

One of the delightful new flirt tools that comes with age is mystery. Samantha needs to put that in her trick bag and learn to work it to maximum effect.

P.S. Search on this website, Ciao Bella and get more tips on how to be a Weapon of Mass Seduction while traveling abroad.

Unleash the Sensual You Workshop in CA

If you live in the Bay Area, I'd like to invite you to join me for an Unleash the Sensual You Workshop. This is your chance to discover ways to become the confident, sexy woman you were meant to be as I share with you ideas and techniques to embrace and enhance the woman you already are but just aren't sharing with the world. We'll talk about how to unearth the confidence everyone says you need but you can't seem to locate; and how to use that confidence to charm and disarm and get what you want out of life, both in and out of the bedroom. Please grab a friend or two and join us. It's free and I promise you will leave feeling fabulous!

When: Thursday, June 10, 2010
Time: 6:30 PM
Where: Good Vibrations 2504 San Pablo Avenue, Berkeley, CA
Admission: FREE

Following the workshop there will be a booksigning for my new anthology, Can't Help The Way That I Feel.

I will also be doing Dare to Be Tempted readings and signing while I'm in the Bay Area at:

When: Thursday, June 10, 2010
Time: 12 Noon
Where: Marcus Books
1712 Fillmore Street
San Francisco, CA

When: Friday, June 11, 2010
Time: 6:30 PM
Where: Marcus Books
3900 Martin Luther King Jr. Way
Oakland, CA

If you're in the area, bring a friend or two and join us. Tempting you with their sensual thoughts and words will be contributing authors Toi James and Teddy Bell. Come. Let us lead you into temptation!!!

Please feel free to pass this information along to anyone you think might enjoy the event.

I'd Rather Sleep Than Have Sex With My Husband

A depressing new study that depressingly found that 63 percent of married women would rather get extra sleep or catch up on their reading than have sex with their husbands may also have depressingly pinpointed why: Less than half of women surveyed say they married the best sex of their lives.

48 percent of married women say the guy they locked it down with isn't the guy who brought it the best in the sack. The data comes from a survey conducted for iVillage by Insight Express. Over 2,000 bored but satisfied women responded.

Maybe the old truism that the best sex is sex with somebody you love isn't true -- maybe the best sex is actually with that Venetian guy you met and had sex with on a roof garden while backpacking through Italy and never saw again.

More likely, it's because the majority (81 percent!!!) of women in the survey say their sex lives are predictable, based on location, position, time of day, duration, and foreplay ... Which is why it's not surprising that 62 percent of them said they fantasized about having sex with somebody else. Well, if somebody's going to be halfheartedly plugging away at you in the mish posish, it's no surprise when a young woman's fancy turns to thoughts of George Clooney.

Is this you?

Reprinted from AOL written by Emerald Catron

Why Do Men Like Breasts So Much?

I was out last night and as it often does, the female conversation turned to bodies, or more specifically, what's wrong with them. The list was long and painfully typical--too small, too big, too saggy, too round, too long. After a couple of rounds of discussion, the question was asked: Why do men like breasts so much? The heads of those in the circle of conversation who knew me and what I do, turned expectantly in my direction.

So despite the fact that have made it clear that I am not a professional, but only a woman with a studied (read practical, lifelong observation)point of view, I gave them the answer that first popped into my head. I share it now with you for your consideration.

My theory is that men like breasts for two main reasons: First, because right or wrong, breasts have become the visual badge of a woman's sexuality. The bigger the boobs, supposedly the greater her sexual prowess. (Thanks Pamela Anderson. No surprise here that you got voted off of Dancing With the Stars) Now we enlightened women know that this is a crock of horse poop, but it is what it is, and trying to change a man's mind on this subject is wasted energy. We also know that while the majority of men will raise both hands when offered a serving of double D's, when talking about the woman they love, large breasts fall way down on the list of things they love (or miss) about her.

The second, and most important reason that I believe that men love breasts are because no matter what their size or shape,they are interactive. Breasts, particularly nipples, respond physically to arousal and desire. Men love the way breasts become engorged and how nipples swell and stiffen in their hands and mouths. This gives our visually oriented partners immediate feedback,ego gratification and the incentive to continue to please.

So again, ladies, stop worrying about what you don't have and start enjoying what you do. Embrace the health and sensitivity of your breasts and let the other things like their size and shape fall way down on your list of things you dislike about yourself. Wrap them up pretty like the gift they are and enjoy the sexual energy the produce.

Change your Sexitude. Change your life.

What do you think?

Outrageous!!

You know, those who fancy themselves as the grand 'deciders' never cease to amaze me. Today, I'm talking about the brilliant cheese for brains executives at ABC and Fox. How they could ban the commercial above for being "inappropriate" "baring too much cleavage" and "salacious" is beyond me.

This is deemed inappropriate but they will air not only commercials but entire shows featuring the Sports Illustrated models and Victoria Secret Angels. They showcase these women who are in a weight and figure class all of their own, hammering in the misconceived and untrue notion that these size 0 mannequins flitting around in lingerie designed to GIVE THEM MORE CURVES and spray tanned skin and bones are the poster children of sexy.

Obviously they don't realize that the luscious, curvy woman in this Lane Bryant commercial is more representative of average women. They also don't realize that it's not either body type that makes these women sexy...it's their attitudes. Lane Bryant Lovely or Victoria Secret Angel, it's how they strut the stuff they've got--size 0 or size 16--that set them apart from the also rans.

Unfortunately it's the idiot gatekeepers like them that keep folks like me busy reminding women that sexy is not a weight class or a bra size. Sexy is as sexy does and the woman featured in this very sensuous commercial is holding up the truth that sexy comes in every size and it's the enormity of your confidence, not your breasts that makes you a contender. Ladies, don't buy into the bullsh*t. Being yourself can never be wrong. Remember: Confidence is Mother Nature's push-up bra!
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Sex Information for Teens and Young Adults

I ran across this website, Scarleteen.com that after perusing for a while, looks like a great resource for parents and teens alike when it comes to educating yourselves on teen sexuality. Remember, knowledge and open communication is key to helping your kids navigate this very delicate and often confusing time in their lives.

Can't Help The Way That I Feel Book Trailer

Giving Into Temptation

Ever since Eve seduced Adam into biting that apple, avoiding temptation has been drilled into our heads as the proper thing to do. But I ask you, can’t giving into temptation be a good thing sometimes (chocolate, jewelry and Idris Elba and George Clooney immediately come to mind)? Must we always avoid enticement? If so, why?

Consider this: A little temptation can be a very good thing because sometimes it acts as a catalyst for our personal growth. Sometimes in an impulsive moment, we find ourselves growing into the next version of ourselves—our more open, spontaneous, courageous, adventurous, curious, fabulous selves.

I've come to believe that many temptations we encounter are actually whispers of restless discontent attempting to lure us into questioning the status qua areas of our lives. Quite often one such area is sex. Sex is the one thing that we are the most curious and yet the least confident about. When it comes to sex our will to be good--to avoid temptation--often stands firmly in the way of our true needs and desires, without us ever really questioning why denial is the right and righteous thing to do.

Last year I was approached to edit an anthology of erotic stories. I agreed because I wanted to put my imprint on this huge genre and use erotica to help women really understand themselves through the sex they read in romance novels and anthologies, see in the movies and on television, and fantasize about through the lyrics of song.

In the stories included in Can't Help The Way That I Feel, you will meet several compelling characters who share some of your same feelings about their love and sex lives—boredom, confusion, dissatisfaction, prudence. And like yours, each of their journeys is different. But unlike most of us, they decide to take control of their hot sexy selves. Each woman finds herself giving into temptation, and in its aftermath, learning something about herself, and growing into the woman she wants to be. The writing, just like you, is elegant, sophisticated, sexy and hot but not raunchy!

These characters will tickle your fancy and ignite your lust as you live vicariously through their enticing sexcapades. And after they have you and your imagination revved up and ready to purr, let us tempt with three tasty, to-be-continued, story starters designed to get your creative (and other) juices flowing and help you make this anthology uniquely personal by finishing your own sexy tale on the blank pages provided. Delve in by yourself or grab the one you're with, and spend the night researching and then writing your personal erotic tale together.

Can't Help The Way That I Feel is in bookstores now, and you can also order your copy now from Amazon.com. You an also go to canthelpthewaythatifeel.blogspot.com and read about the authors and excerpts from their stories.

Please spread the word and let me know what you think of the collection.

What's Doing?

Many of you have asked just what's going and I thank you for your interest. Mainly I've been in the cave writing up a storm. I'm so very pleased with the new projects that will be popping up on bookshelves in the next couple of years. I think you will be too.

This week, my first editorial project hits the stores. It is an erotic anthology, entitled Can't Help The Way That I Feel and is full of great, well written stories that are short on rauchiness and long on sexy, erotic storytelling. What I really love is that while written to be enjoyed by all ages, the stories feature women of a certain age doing their thing and doing it well!! In the next post, I will tell you all about it but you can head over to the blog and check out the authors and read short excerpts from their stories.

I'm also finishing up a new novel that will be published next year by Strebor Books, an imprint of Simon and Schuester. More on that later.

Lastly, I am thrilled to tell you that it looks very much like Stiletto U: Lessons to Unleash the Sexy, Confident You will published soon. We are in negotiations to bring my nine week program to bookstores in 2011. I am so, so, so excited about this. The book is based the program I developed for my individual coaching and I'm just thrilled that it will be available to the masses. To go along with this, I'm working on a new Stiletto U website, which will probably at some point replace WMS, but that's to come a bit down the road.

So spring has sprung and I too have sprung into a new and exciting phase of my career. Now, as you take time to smell the roses this season, take time to imagine what exciting new phase of your life awaits you!

Spring 2010 has Sprung!

My all time favorite spring sighting is the first cherry blossom. I adore these gorgeous trees and with their return I know the seasonal rebirth has begun. Their return each year makes me happy.

As does my return to this blog. I have been so busy working hard on new projects that I couldn't seem to get around to blogging, even though in my heart I missed it. I'm going to try harder to keep in touch more consistently.

So to celebrate spring, I give you these thoughts by Helen Keller. Remarkable insight, considering the woman could not see or hear.

"Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would go blind. Do the same with all of your senses. Hear the song of a bird as if tomorrow you would go deaf. Touch everything as if tomorrow you would never be able to touch anything again. Smell the flowers, taste every bit of food as if tomorrow you will never to smell or taste again."

Live through your senses and bring joy to your day!